Winter's Fire → Game of Thrones

lvii. A Plan

Since Oberyn's death things had been... complicated.

The night Lucien and I had sex I woke him up crying while I was crying in my sleep. I did not remember what I was upset about anymore, but I suspected I was crying because I was seeing everyone die again. He seemed to be quite annoyed with me the next morning, but we did not get to talk about it as he had breakfast with his family to get to.

I had not seen Lucien during the days. Every time he finished dinner, his father would drag him places all day. We only got nights to ourselves and by that point, he was usually exhausted and just wanted to hold me while he slept.

I felt horrible that I had woken him up. I also felt worried that it would make him want me less. I had been so good with hiding what was wrong. Why did I have to sustain such a hit to the walls I had built up around me?

Today it would also be difficult to see Lucien. I had a Small Council meeting to attend. It was undoubtedly about what we were to do with Tyrion Lannister. I was also hoping someone would have enough intelligence to realise there may be trouble with Dorne seeing how Oberyn was Lord Doran Martell's last remaining sibling.

Daemon was accompanying me to the Small Council meeting. He was amused yesterday when I finally told him Lucien and I had fucked because, once again, the whole of the Red Keep was talking about how they suspected Daemon and I were courting. They also suspected Lucien would court Myrielle Lannister though, so I suppose it is even between us.

The idea of Lucien and Myrielle being the new talk of the castle did not bother me. Why would it? I know that Lucien loves me. And even if I was not sure, I still do not need to feel bothered. I would never lose to a Lannister.

Seeing Lucien dance with Myrielle Lannister did make me feel jealous though. They just moved so well together. Daemon had to stop me from going over there and asking to swap partners. He reminded me that Lucien and I were keeping our courtship secret. If I went to dance with him, it would risk that secret.

Keeping secrets was difficult. I wanted people to share in my happiness and I wanted to hear the criticisms to put them in place. More serious secrets were easier to keep hidden because there was more at risk than having to reel in a group of bigoted lords. It was the smaller secrets that ate away at me.

At least today I would be able to share a secret plan that I hatched last night. It was one that allowed me to leave for the North after seeing it through, but also one that benefitted Daemon greatly and possibly even Lucien. Really it was a masterpiece for such a sudden idea.

I knocked on the door to Daemon's chambers. We had agreed to go to the Small Council meeting together, but since I had a plan to benefit the both of us, I needed to tell him instead of springing it on him. He would play along with the plan and act like he agreed with it, but he would be angry afterwards if I did not tell him.

Daemon opened the door without revealing himself. When I stepped in I realised it was because he had no shirt on. I immediately looked down at the ground, not wanting to look at his half-naked body.

"Oh, come on," he said, laughing a little. "You have seen me completely naked before. No need to act shy."

"It was not on purpose!" I exclaimed, feeling my cheeks heat up. "I did not expect to find you at that brothel with Oberyn!"

Daemon just laughed as I heard him shuffling around his room. He was clearly looking for an undershirt, as well as the rest of his clothes. I refused to look up again until I was sure he was fully dressed, including his shoes.

It was not that Daemon was unattractive. That was not why I did not want to look at him even though he was mostly dressed. It just felt wrong to see anyone but Lucien in a state of un-dress. That, and Daemon was a friend to me. And not the kind that would see you naked every once in a while.