Winter's Fire → Game of Thrones

xliv. Attempted Amends

True to his word, Daemon had set up a meeting between myself and Lucien. I still had no idea what to say or do. I did not even know what was going to happen, or even what I wanted to happen.

As I walked towards Daemon's chamber, I could not control my nervousness. I was not sure half the day was enough for Lucien to calm down. Nor was it enough for me to get over the way his words had made my heart hurt. I just knew that this was not the best time, but I could not back out now.

I stood in front of the door to Daemon's chambers, well aware that someone was watching me. I took a quick peek and saw that it was one of Varys' little servant children that report back to him on what they see.

Great, now everyone is going to think that Daemon and I are involved with each other. It is not like that is what we are trying to prove the opposite of...

I took a deep breath and placed one hand on my sword to calm my nerves. With the other, I opened the heavy wooden door and pushed it open. I was scared to look inside and actually look up, but at least I was calmer.

Once I was in the room I heard a frustrated grunt. I looked up and saw an angry Lucien alongside Daemon, who was clearly going to play innocent. That play would probably not be beneficial, though.

I guess this is all up to me...

Daemon excused himself, patting Lucien on the shoulder reassuringly. He then hurried out of the room, probably sighing in relief as soon as he was out of it. After all, the usual tension between Lucien and I had turned into frustration and anger against sadness and partial confusion.

Before I could even open my mouth to speak, Lucien let out a disgusted sigh. He glared at me as he strode forward, roughly shoving his shoulder into me to get me to move out of the way.

I was expecting to snap. If this were anyone else, I would have pulled them back and pushed them against the wall by now. Depending on who it was, there might even be a dagger against their throat.

Instead, I just stood there. I watched Lucien wince as he continued to walk past me, and once again as he reached for the doorknob.

"Listen to me, Lucien," I pleaded, right before he opened the door.

He turned to face me and I saw his anger falter for a second as he looked at me. But then it was back and he glared at me, crossing his arms and continuing his painful look of disgust.

"I am not using you," I said, taking a step forward. "In fact, I care for you deeply. More than I have cared for most. But I also do not expect you to believe me, so please, at least let me look at your injuries. Even if you decide I am using you, you know you need those to be looked at and that I am the only person you can go to who will not tell your secret."

"Fine," Lucien sighed.

I knew Daemon had taken my healing kit from my chambers. I had discovered it missing shortly after he left, and he is the only one daring enough to steal from me. Especially if it helped his plan to push Lucien and I together.

I opened up the chest in front of Daemon's bed and found my healing kit. I pulled it out and then set it beside Lucien, turning to look at the angry, beautiful young man.

He was reluctant as he lifted his shirt up, revealing a mess of poorly wrapped bandages with blood on them at his back. His torso and back - well, the parts not covered by bandages - were covered with bruises. Some were only small, but others were quite large and looked painful. I could also tell there was more that Lucien was not showing me.

Part of me wanted to say something. I wanted to tell Lucien that it would be fine in the end, but also that he needed to say something to his father or stop him. I wanted to say that he needs to defend himself, even if it means patricide.