Winter's Fire → Game of Thrones

lviii. A Heartbreak

"You two have done what?!"

"We got Tywin Lannister to grant us permission to leave to take Storm's End in three days," Daemon repeated.

Lucien began to pace the room. He ran his hands through his hair and let out a frustrated sigh. He stopped to glance at Daemon and I, sitting across from each other at the table, and then continued his pacing.

We had just told Lucien about our plan to take Storm's End and how it had been approved. He was silent the whole time we explained. I probably should have realised his eventual reaction was not going to be positive because he did just sit there without any reactions at all. It was too late now though.

Seeing Lucien so stressed and slightly frustrated made me doubt myself for a second. It made me feel like perhaps we should not have suggested anything. Should we have waited for a time that all of us could sit down and talk about it rather than springing this on him first thing in the morning?

No. I do not have to run and tell Lucien about every decision I make. I am allowed to form my own plans and I would have told him last night if he had come to see me like he said he would. Then we would not be having this kind of reaction.

"I thought my father was joking," Lucien muttered. "You are the laughing stock of the whole castle and now you are making them laugh at me too. Everyone thinks you are going to fail and get either killed or captured. Did neither of you think to tell me so I could avoid embarrassment?"

"When?" Daemon asked. "In the morning when you are usually too busy for us? Or did you want Alessia to have to tell you by herself last night? Oh, wait, she would not have even had the chance because you were too busy partying with your family and the Lannisters. How is Myrielle, by the way? I heard you two seemed close last night. And how is your head? You seemed quite intoxicated. Embarrassingly so."

My heart sunk a little. It was a disgusting feeling. Like I wanted to be angry, but I also wanted to control myself and find out why. More than anything though I just felt sad.

I was not aware that that was what Lucien was doing. I assumed he was tired or just wanted a night to himself. Not that he was partying with the Lannisters. Not that he was partying with another woman.

I understand that we cannot always attend places together because everyone in this castle hates me. I am just around for entertainment value. Yet it cannot hurt to at least tell me about these things. Or to not spend the night with another woman and then not come to see me despite saying he would.

Even though I was upset with Lucien, I was now also upset with Daemon. I did not have to find out this way. He could have come to see me and told me himself, instead of using my feelings as a point in an argument against Lucien.

"You both need to stop," I said.

Both Daemon and Lucien turned to look at me. They looked like small children who had just been scolded by their Septa. If they had not both done or said something that had upset me I would probably have found it to be cute.

Neither of them seemed to realise I was upset. Not that either of them had the maturity to realise. Both of them have a tendency to get wrapped up in their own feelings with no regard for someone else's unless they make their feelings clear.

I am only two years younger than Daemon and Lucien. They were both born the same year as Robb. Yet my brother had seemed so much more emotionally mature than these two. Perhaps it is due to how fast he had to grow up when he went to war. It is the hardest things in life that finish your maturing.

"Lucien, we should have told you, but I came up with the plan when I had time to myself yesterday morning and have not seen you since before then," I told him. "Daemon, you do not need to use information you know would upset me the second I heard it in the way that you just did. Alessia, it is not your job to settle disputes between two grown men."