Winter's Fire → Game of Thrones

xliii. Thorny Plots

I sat in my chambers drinking a tea I had the kitchens brew for me using ingredients from Essos. It was the only thing that could calm me at the moment. Unless, of course, I decided to have milk of the poppy to fall unconscious for a time.

Sansa was still mad at me. Furious is closer to the reality, actually.

I did not understand what I did wrong. When I went to explain that I saw trying to save her the pain of the gruesome details she just slammed her chamber door in my face and screamed for me to leave her be. She was so mad that I did not want to let her know the painful reality that it was honestly foolish.

I would give anything not to have to remember that night every time I try to sleep or my mind wanders...

My brothers, Mother, Father, Arya, Talisa, Alios, Viserys... How many more people needed to die for the Gods to punish me for my existence? And now they added to the punishment by making Sansa hate me. I was struggling to take it.

Since seeing Sansa two days ago to try and speak with her I have locked myself in my chambers. I have no will to leave and do anything. I just feel empty and helpless and filled with despair. I am failing to see the point in continuing on if I do not have anyone to keep living for and protecting.

The only thing I have at the moment is my title. The only thing that tells me to keep going is the fact that I am Lady Stark and am the only one who can restore honor and titles and land to my house. Even if I do not have anyone anymore, I will fight for those who are dead and built up my family to what it used to be such a short time ago.

A loud knock on my door pulled me out of my thoughts. I sat down my cup with a sigh before standing to move towards the door.

This best be important or I might just drive my sword through someone...

Once I opened the door Daemon barged through, dragging Lucien in with him. The prince had a fire in his eyes, whereas Lucien looked numb - if not completely empty - and worried. There was a large contrast between the emotions of the two.

Daemon said something incredibly quickly while opening up the passageway. He then grabbed my wrist and dragged both Lucien and I inside. He then lit a torch and we had no choice but to follow him down the dark tunnels created when this castle was first built.

I could not help that Lucien was grasping his side as he walked. He was clearly injured and I suspected that I knew who had dared to hurt him, but I could not ask yet. Not here, where anyone else who knows of these tunnels could overhear. And definitely not in front of the wildcard that is Daemon.

We stopped in the area that we used when we made our pact to work together. Daemon turned to the both of us with a ridiculous grin on his face. Instead of making me excited for whatever he had to say, it actually made me worried. Excitement and hope tend to make me worry after everything that I have seen.

"Lucien, tell her," Daemon insisted, eyes bright even in this dimly lit area.

"My grandmother is working with Littlefinger to kill Joffrey," Lucien said, a slight pant evident as he spoke. "She is going to poison him at his wedding."

"Is it not brilliant?" Daemon asked, practically jumping up and down with excitement.

It took me a minute to process what I had just been told. The Queen of Thorns was going to poison Joffrey to save her granddaughter for him. He was going to die and I was going to be one step closer to getting revenge on the Lannisters and potentially towards being free of their grasps.

So why did I not feel satisfied?

Deep down I knew seeing Joffrey die would not make me feel better. He needed to die, that was for sure. But I wanted it to be at my hand. I wanted to kill him by driving my sword straight through that smart mouth of his. Hell, I wanted to cut his body to shreds in my rage just because I could.