Winter's Fire → Game of Thrones

xxxiv. Marriage Proposals

I spent the whole morning worrying about the arrival of the Frey's. I was aware that Lord Frey would not come himself, but he was sending his sons Lothor and Black Walder. The two of them can be quite nasty pieces of work when they want to be.

Robb has assured me he had no intention of marrying me off, but what if the Frey's insist on it? We cannot say no if they do. We need their men and they know it. We have given them a power greater than our own.

Alios was sitting in the room I had been given as an office, calmly reading some book on the Dance of the Dragons. It was a Targaryen civil war between Aegon II and Rhaenyra Targaryen on who should succeed their father. Rhaenyra had been raised as the heir, but Aegon was a male. Though both died, it did go in Rhaenyra's favour as her son was eventually crowned king. I do believe the Starks fought alongside Rhaenyra. I am sure this meant that the North recognized her strength. The strength of a strong woman who was just taking what should be hers by birthright. 

"You need to calm down," Alios told me, as if I did not already know. "Robb said you will not marry any of them. You have nothing to worry about."

"I have everything to worry about," I disagreed. "House Frey knows I am back and they hold all the power. They know we need their men and because of that we are not in the position to tell them no. If they insist on me marrying into their family..."

"I will say no," Robb said from the door.

I turned to look at my brother and gave him an exasperated look. He clearly does not understand the situation we have been put in. Neither does Alios - who I expected to have a better understanding than anyone - for that matter.

Mother and Talisa were standing by the door too, along with Edmure and Brynden. This was clearly meant to be a family meeting of some sort. I just hope that Mother can talk some sense into Robb about the reality of this situation.

"I do not think we need to wed you to a Frey," Mother agreed, shocking me. "We promised them Arya and I cannot lose any more children. They will not take you from me."

That is funny. You were willing to give me up when I was in exile...

Despite everything that has happened recently, Mother still has not tried to make up with me. I think she expects me to go crawling back to her. She should have thought more about wanting me to come back to her when I was exiled and it was all I wanted. I wanted to go home and I wanted Viserys...

Mother, Robb, Talisa, Edmure and Brynden left and told me to find them later. I think it was clear to everyone that I needed time to think about everything. They are telling me I do not have to marry a Frey, but everyone knows it would be beneficial. We really, really, really need their men to win this war.

It is not the idea of marriage itself that disgusts me. It is that I am not marrying a man I love. It is that I would not be marrying Viserys, who I convinced myself I would one day get to marry. We were to return home and take back the Iron Throne for House Targaryen and wed. Then we were going to live happily ever after.

I shared my thoughts with Alios, who just gave me a sympathetic look. I was glad to see no pity, but I am sure he was hiding it. Even I know how foolish my hopes and dreams were.

"I did not think you still felt anything for him," Alios admitted, closing the door and locking it. "'Less..."

"I know," I interrupted. "I know I need to move on. I just cannot do it yet." I looked at Alios and had to blink back tears. "I still keep his pin on me. The one with the three-headed dragon. And his sword has become my own. They are all I have to remember him by."

"One day you will find someone who will take your breath away," Alios said, taking my hands. "Someone will take the broken pieces of your heart and show you how to put them back together. You will be happy again. You will be in love again. And until then you always have your best friend by your side."