Winter's Fire → Game of Thrones

vii. Oceans

If my family were to see me now, they would either be proud or ashamed. I am sitting in a bath with columns that have flowers wrapping around them, in a beautiful room. I can look outside and see the sea, and there is a fire burning nearby just for comfort. I am in Pentos, staying in a beautiful manse, and that makes it easy to forget reality. Although I often forget it, I live at the mercy and greed of others.

Well, it was my own father who exiled me, so I suppose his opinion is not important. They should be proud of me for surviving, but that is not the Westerosi way, let alone the harsher Northern way. I know they would look down on me for not being able to survive by myself, but they do not know what it is like. It is hard to live out here.

My family are oceans away, but what they think and how they are concerns me every day. What would they think of me now? Would they even recognise me? I do not look the same, and I do not think that I am really the same person as I once was. I have always been stubborn and defiant, but I was so much worse. I do not even feel like the same young girl who left Westeros.

There was a knock on the door and I slid further into the water to cover myself, just in case. When I saw that it was one of the serving girls who had walked in, I relaxed and gave her a small smile. I was worried that it would be Illyrio, or even worse; Viserys. It has been five days since I last to spoke to him, and the bruise has gone, but I still do not wish to speak to him.

I grabbed the cup of wine sitting next to the in-ground bath and took a sip as the serving girl tended to the fire. She came in here to tell me something, but I do not think that she wants to speak to me. Illyrio did tell them not to speak to me unless he told them to, so she is probably here on behalf of either Daenerys or Viserys. I would say Viserys sent her in here.

"Viserys wishes to speak to you out by the sea," she told me.

The serving girl left and I let out a sigh. I leaned back and let my head touch the marble steps. I then sat back up and drained my cup of wine before setting it down and getting out of the bath. The hot water ran down my body and dripped onto the floor as I picked up my towel and wrapped it around myself.

For once, I did not wash my hair so it was dry. I dried myself off and then walked into my chambers and looked around for something to wear. I found a purple-grey dress that was in the style most people from Essos wear, where the material is thin and it gathers together at the very top, where a material that looks a bit like rope wraps around your neck to hold the dress in place.

Once I was dressed, I brushed my hair and braided part of it from the top so that it joins the rest of my hair. I then decided to dab on a bit of perfume before leaving my chambers. I wish I had more wine to calm myself down, but I did not, and I will just have to deal with how I feel. I will push away any feeling that makes me feel bad, and I will try to be brave.

I wandered into the garden for a bit, to take the long way and clear my head. There is no real reason for me to fear Viserys. He hit me and I would have hit him back any other time, if there were not guests. He did not mean it either, and I could see it in his eyes when we last spoke, but I just could not accept his shitty apology.

When I finally made it to the balcony that looks out to the sea, I found Viserys standing by a table with food on it. He was looking out at the sea, and because I was looking at him from the side I was able to examine his features. He was in deep thought, and was clearly worried about something, but he still looked handsome.

"What is all of this?" I asked quietly, so it did not scare him. 

"An apology," Viserys said, turning to face me and putting a small, hopeful smile on his face. "It took me a while to convince Illyrio to let me do this, but he finally agreed."