A Secret Love

Chapter Twenty-One

When the men returned, Claire and I had bonded a lot more. She was sleeping when they came home, so I quickly ran out of the kitchen to shush them.

"She fell asleep an hour ago. Please don't wake her up," I whispered.

They nodded their heads and Xavier pulled me aside. I gave him a curious look, but that soon went away.

"I couldn't stop thinking about last night. I know you want to wait on kids, but I can't wait four months again. I need you," he said. He kissed me passionately before I could respond and I wanted to melt in his arms at that moment.

I broke the kiss sooner than I would have liked. "Xavier, you are wonderful and I need you too, but I want to be able to help Claire out with our niece or nephew. I think we can wait at least two months. Please?" I begged.

Xavier sighed but nodded. "Anything you want, Darling." He kissed my forehead, then my lips. The kiss was soft and sweet, but it had a hint of hunger in it. I knew Xavier was going to be my undoing.

"Xavier," I warned, "if you don't stop kissing me like that, we may end up having a child faster than you think."

Xavier smirked before he left me alone in the kitchen to go talk with Caiden. I put away the clean dishes and started to make dinner for everyone.

That night, I couldn't stop thinking about my mother's death. I curled up against Xavier's side and tried to sleep, but I couldn't.

"Xav?" I whispered, moving my head to see if he was awake or not.

"Mmm?" He groaned. I felt bad for waking him up, but I needed to talk to someone about this.

"I... I need to talk to you... about my mother."

He blinked his eyes a couple of times before he looked down at me. "Okay, Zaylin. I'm listening." He sat us up and flicked on the lap on our beside table. He knew it must be important because I never talk about her.

"Well, when I was eight, my father had gone to a party." I remembered. "He came home very intoxicated and I heard him open the front door. I wanted to tell him goodnight like usual, so I did, not realizing the mistake I was making. His eyes turned vicious and he lunged at me, hands outstretched.

I was frozen in fear, but my mother jumped in front of me, and his hands wound around her throat. She tried to talk to him, but he was too angry and drunk. He suffocated her and dropped her on the floor, at my feet. He went to bed after that, too drunk to care about what he had just done. I sat beside my mother and put her head on my lap, crying. I knew it was because of my mistake that my mother had died. I felt the warmth leave her body, Xavier. Caiden was woken up by my crying, so he came to check on me in my room. He saw me sitting on my bedroom floor, our dead mother in my arms. He stayed with me through the night, crying like I was. When Iden woke up the next morning and found us, he had no recollection of killing my mother the night before." I cried, the memory still so painful for me. "Ever since that day, I have rebelled in any way possible. I always made sure I wasn't hurt too badly, but over the years, Iden had gotten rougher."

Xavier held me to his chest as I cried. He kissed the top of my head many times. "I never knew. I have known you for two years and I never knew that is why you have rebelled."

"I didn't want anyone to know. They might see me as broken if they do." I whispered, tears flowing down my cheeks.

"I know, and I don't see you as broken. I see you as beautiful and kind. You are hurt, not broken. You will heal, I know you will." Xavier told me as he wiped away my tears. More came, but he didn't mind as they soaked his shirt. He laid us back down and turned off the light. He ran his fingers through my hair as he let me cry on his chest, not saying anything more. I eventually fell asleep, tear stains on my cheeks as I let sleep take me.