"When can I get out of here? When can I get out of here? When can I get out of here? When can I get out of here? When can I get out of here? Hey, did you hear me? When can I get out of here?" the nurse checking my heart rate and crap ignored me, like she had been for the last four minutes as I repeatedly asked one question, over and over again. "Helllloooo, are you deaf? I asked-," "Mr. McCann, the doctor will come in to see you in a little while and tell you when you can be released. Please stop asking me."
"Wait, he's gonna tell me when I can release? He does realize that's my girlfriend's job, right? I don't want some weird old guy in a white lab coat telling me, "Okay, Jason, release your baby makers," heck no!" She grit her teeth and tried to ignore me.
"Am I frustrating you?" I asked innocently, using my baby voice. She finished looking at the wires that led to the stupid machines I was hooked up onto and walked out, saying, "The doctor will be in here in a few minutes," over her shoulder. Lady must not like me.
Julia walked back into my room, looking confused as the nurse marched angrily past her. "What did you do?" she asked, sitting down in the chair by the side of my bed. "I just asked her a question, and she got mad at me." I pouted and lowered my voice to a whisper. "I think she's PMS-ing."
"Jason, babe, I hate to break it to you, but sometimes dealing with you is worse than PMS-ing." I popped my mouth open. "Seriously? No!" "Seriously? Yes!" "No." "Yes." "No." "Yes." "Nope." "Yup." "You're just yanking my chain." "Yanking your chain?" "Can you believe that's not sexual?" I asked, and she groaned. "I thought Brian was going to rape me after he told me he was yanking my chain."
Julia dropped her face into her hands and rested her elbows on her knees. "Everything okay, baby?" She slowly raised her face to give me a ‘are you serious right now' look. "Oh, I'm just peachy, Jason. My boyfriend acts like a four year old." "Hey, I must be like Benjamin Button," I said. She gave me a confused look.
"You said after we had sex I was acting like an eleven year old, now I'm four. I'm getting younger as time goes on. Must be all the Olay." I raised my good arm and patted my cheek dreamily. Julia stared at me. "How much medication do they have you on?" "Not enough," I said, smiling. "I still haven't gotten my medical marijuana." "Honey, I don't think you need medical marijuana." "I think I do!" "Exactly."
"What's that supposed to mean?" "Babe, do you really want to be high right now?" I laughed and shook my head. "Nope. Just like the idea of getting high again." She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Hey, baby," I said, moving my body in the bed, creating space for her. "Come cuddle with me." She looked at me like I was crazy. "I don't want to hurt you," she said, shaking her head.
"I already moved. You had no problem getting into bed with me before," I said, and she stuck her tongue out at me. "That was when you weren't practically shattered into a million pieces." "Julia, get in the dang bed with me." "Fine, Mr. Pushy." "Thank you." She slowly laid down in the bed with me and gently laid her head on my shoulder. "That's my good shoulder, babes, you're not gonna hurt it."
She stuck her tongue out at me again, and I kissed her nose. "I love you," I cooed as the doctor walked in. I bumped my nose against hers playfully, and she giggled, pretending to swat me away. "Jason," she giggled as I moved my face into her neck and started sucking and kissing at her skin. "Stop it!" "You know you liked it," I mumbled, running the tip of my tongue against her neck. She giggled again. I was completely ignoring the existence of the doctor, and Julia didn't know he was even in here.... Until the jerk cleared his throat.
Julia gasped and flushed an adorable shade of red as she hurriedly pulled away from me and messed with her hair. "The nurse tells me you were curious as to when you could leave?" he said, coming over to the side of the bed and checking the tubes there...again. "Yeah, just a bit," I said, rolling my eyes and trying to stuff my face back into my girlfriend's neck. She softly pushed me away, moving her knee dangerously close to my balls as I tried again. Okay, that was a signal to stop.
"Well, we're going to give you a little more Vikaden, then you're going to stay for a bit longer today so we can make sure you're completely fine then you're free to go." "Thank God," I groaned, grabbing Julia's hip and pulling her close to me. "I'm so freaking horny." "Jason!" Jules hissed, slapping my chest lightly. "What? It's true." The doctor chuckled. "I wouldn't recommend sex for a while, Mr. McCann. The pain might get worse with too much movement."
"Which is exactly why she's gonna ride me, right baby?" "Oh, my gosh," she groaned, her face flushing an even brighter red. "Just stop talking, please." The doctor chuckled again before injecting something into my IV. "I understand. I was teenage boy once, too." I gave him a disgusted look. "Dude, TMI," I said, snorting and resuming my plan to leave a hickey on my girl's neck. Marking my territory.
Julia stared at me with her mouth open before detaching my mouth from her neck. "Will you stop it?" she asked, wiping my spit off her skin. "You're going to leave a mark." "Why do you think I was sucking so hard? It's like that time you blew me, that's how hard I'm gonna suck." "Jason, I've never even given you a blow job before!" "Ssh," I hissed, looking at the doctor as he walked out of the room, shaking his head. "He didn't know that!"
"Jason, honey, just relax and let the drugs work, okay?" I groaned and laid down flat on my back, feeling the drugs start to trickle through my veins. Here's the thing, most people pass out when they're given drugs. Me? I practically get high, or at least act like it.
The second those drugs kicked in, I was a goner.
"Julia," I slurred, laying my head on her tummy and listening to the thump of her heartbeat. "Um, yeah?" "Why do I have to get hurt?" she giggled. "Beats me. You're accident prone, babes." "All I did was break a window," I moaned, burying my face into her tummy.
"What?" "It was an accident. We were playing baseball and broke a window. I didn't mean it." "Jason, what are you talking about?" "He hit me. So hard. With my own bat. It hurt so bad, Julesie, so bad." "Jason, what are you saying?" Her tone turned sharp, serious, and I just dug my face into her stomach.
"I just wanted to see you, and he didn't want me to. I got home and he hit me. He slapped me across the face, and it bruised. I had to lie to everybody, and I didn't like it." Tears pricked at my eyes and I tried to blink them back.
I raised my face to meet my girlfriend's horrified eyes, the tears now streaking freely down my face. "He beats me, Julia," I said, my voice barely a whisper. "Who does, Jase? That's the part you gotta tell me." I opened my mouth but a deep voice echoed from the doorway.
"I think that's just the drugs talking, don't you sweetheart? He's all hyped up on that stuff, poor kid doesn't know what he's saying. No one beats him; he tripped and fell down the stairs, clumsy grandkid of mine."
