"Ruin and Redemption"

To Fetch Esme Home

Esme’s shoes were off. She held them in one hand, and ran like a little girl across the road as Patsy held the reins tightly in her sweaty palms.

Being out on the road with Derrick was exciting, yet dangerous. Patsy almost wished for the safety and routine of the kitchen, where she was in control, and there were no rogues to question her presence. It seemed soldiers from one side or the other were constantly crossing their path. A black man in a union uniform told her loudly that she had a right to be free, but Patsy disabused him of that notion. There was no way the Republic of South Carolina was going to put up with any of their slaves leaving, Emancipation Proclamation or not. Not until the War was over. What Patsy hoped for wasn’t a train ticket North, anyway. She just wanted land right in her home of Horry, close enough to keep an eye on Lizzie and Derrick, but with nobody owning her or telling her what to do with herself or her land.

“Hush up! I said. I don’t want to hear any of that talk around me. Especially when I’m far away from home with strange white people comin’ up all the time. We’ll be lucky if we make it to Charleston safe!” Patsy reprimanded the soldier.

She and Derrick had already been stopped and questioned as runaways. Something about the glint in Derrick’s eye had alerted a group of soldiers that he was up to something, and they were not having it. No slaves were escaping on their watch. The Union government could say what it liked about the slaves being free, but as long as they were fighting, they were keeping their slaves where they belonged.

Patsy didn’t mind their delusion right now. She would still be alive in another year or two when the fighting died away and the Union defeated the South. Then there wouldn’t be anyone to contest her freedom. No one could argue with her then! It amused her that Derrick was defending her against the men, talking her up as if she were the most meek, mild and subservient creature he could imagine.

When they had left, Derrick had put his hand on her knee and breathed a sigh of relief. “Patsy, I was so scared! I thought they might take you away. I don’t know what Lizzie and I would do without you. We, we, I guess, when it’s all over we’re going to miss you,” He pleaded longingly. He couldn't imagine being without Patsy in the house with them.

“Don’t worry Mr. Derrick. It ain’t that bad. I thought of going North, but I couldn’t leave the both of you to fend for yourselves. And Horry County is still going to be my home when I’m free,” She reassured him.

“You’ll still be there, Patsy. You’ll still help us?” Derrick’s eyes were alive with hope.

“Well, hold on. Yes, and no, Derrick. If this War turns out for the North, and I’m free, I want my own land if I can get it. I’m not staying a slave forever. But, Derrick, you won’t have to worry about figuring everything out, because I’ll only be ten or fifteen minutes away on horseback, so you can ask anything you need.”

“Oh.” Derrick said coolly, disappointed now.

“Well, Derrick, it isn’t as if I’ll be all the way in the North. We’ll still see each other," Patsy stated practically.

“Yeah, I suppose. I just thought you had decided to stay with us, in the house. You know you could," perhaps she didn't uderstand how much they still wanted her, whether or not she was a slave.