"Ruin and Redemption"

Izzie Drops Another Bombshell

Joe covered his face. His sister had actually seen his wife having sex with someone, someone who was also not him. He was so embarrassed for Mindy. What must she have been going through to give in to Derrick? What was she going through now? He had to get a grip on himself somehow and go in there and somehow convince her that the thing she had done which filled him with hatred for Derrick and made him question everything he knew, was somehow alright. She had been completely sincere when she said she loved him; He knew that. He had no idea how he was going to make things right for them, but somehow he had to. He couldn’t just sit this one out. Like any other battle, he was going to have to meet it head first if he wanted to succeed.

 He downed a few sips of water and a few more bites of his favorite food.

“I’m sorry Woodrow, but I can’t leave my wife alone in there crying her eyes out. I’ve got to go see what’s wrong and see if I can help. Izzie can help you get settled later if I’m not back.”

 “Mindy,” he rasped at the door. He felt utterly weak and helpless. She had given herself to Derrick of all people, while he had been away, unable to do anything about the circumstances. What would she do next? Didn’t she know any better? He had thought she had better sense, that Mindy was one who could take care of herself, not some helpless creature who didn’t know any better than sleeping with someone else when she was married to him. But obviously she did know better. That’s why she was crying. And somehow he had to comfort her, although he felt like sinking on their bed and crying himself.

He heard her crying, nothing more, no response to his summons. That made him feel even smaller and more helpless. It hurt him and angered him. She was more interested in keeping on crying than letting him in.

“Mindy!” He yelled louder than he intended and pounded on the locked door.

“Josiah, please, please, don’t come in…I…I’m so sorry. Please don’t hurt me, Joe! I didn’t mean to let it happen. Please, Joe, I was so lonely! Please don’t hurt me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you, Mindy.” Joe choked back the bile. He wasn’t going to hurt her, but he felt like throwing up when he thought of her and Derrick together in their bed. It was the most disgusting thought he could imagine. He didn’t even want Derrick in his bedroom to begin with, let alone having sex with his wife. Surely it had not happened in here, in their bedroom, had it?

He leaned against the bedroom door, sweat dripping though his matted hair. He needed to sit down, and get a grip on himself. He sank down on his haunches, the anxiety threatening to overwhelm him. Thank goodness Woodrow was here. Maybe he would stay awhile, Joe hoped. He felt like he was on a freight train headed for a cliff, and he was about to plunge several thousand feet into a canyon. He gripped the inside of his palms with his nails and drove the fngernails deep into his palms. He recognized the voices this time. It wasn’t him. It was them, the dark ones, the ones who had spoken to him before he killed Michael. He didn’t need to stay here in the house, where he could hurt Mindy. He would never hurt Mindy. Still, he would feel better if he were out in the stable with the horses, away from everyone, until he could figure out something reasonable to do. Something that didn’t have him beating on the door of their bedroom and frightening Mindy, or thinking up a fitting punishment for Derrick.

He was about to push himself up, when Woodrow came and sat on his haunches near him, and placed a hand on Josiah’s knee.

“I still remember the stories of how you met, Joe. Don’t let it make you crazy. I’m here, and we’ve covered for each other before. I can spare a few days away from the battle to help you through this. We’ll get through it just like we got through those nights before battle. We’ll take out the cards.”