"Ruin and Redemption"

Josiah Explains as Best He Can

It was a beautiful Spring day, nearly six months since Michael’s failed escape attempt. He would have definitely made it North by now. Lizzie was so sorry he hadn’t made it. She still missed him with every bone in her body.

Scarlett was intolerable to be around. She continued to blame Lizzie for Michael’s death and to talk about “her” man, as if Lizzie had meant nothing to him! Lizzie was grateful and relieved a week earlier when Scarlett confessed she missed the fields and "picking cotton wasn’t nothing to her as long as her kids could stay in the Big House and be raised proper". Lizzie told her father it wasn’t fair to free the boy and not the girl, and Mr. Henderson relented and procured certificates for both of them. So Becky and Michael David were free and living in the house with Lizzie, whereas Scarlett, their mother, was back doing her familiar job in the fields.

Lizzie felt only relief at Scarlett’s desire to go back to field work. She wouldn’t miss Scarlett one bit. And Scarlett was such an expert picker, Lizzie supposed the work would be light for her now that she didn’t have to help Michael fill his quota every day.

Lizzie saw the horse standing tethered outside, before she heard the knock at the door. It was Derrick coming for a visit. She felt herself smile involuntarily despite her grief.

“Come in," she invited.

“You’re opening the door yourself now?” Derrick asked disapprovingly.

“Why shouldn’t I? Patsy’s all the way in the kitchen, and I’m right here. And I assume you came to see me. Or am I wrong? It seems like you and Patsy always have something to talk about.” Lizzie could hear the childish, petty tone of her voice. Why should it matter if he also enjoyed speaking with Patsy for a few minutes when he came to see her?

“Of course, I came to see you, Lizzie! Do you think I’m courting Patsy? I’m just used to seeing her first thing. You’re usually up in your room studying or reading.”

It was true enough. She had neglected her overseeing duties of late. She had been spending a lot of time reading and studying. It distracted her from having to think of the slaves on her plantation. The thought of them working below, toiling in the fields, disgusted her. She didn’t want slaves anymore. She didn’t want an overseer. She didn’t want to walk outside and see hundreds of people bent over picking acres full of cotton. She was tired of cotton, too. She hated it! She just wanted to stay in her room and forget she lived on a plantation. She didn’t even want to see Patsy most of the time. That’s why she instructed Patsy that if she were in the living room, Patsy should stay in the kitchen and Lizzie would open the door.

“I suppose I do study a lot. There’s a lot to learn still if I want to be a good teacher. I already passed the exam for the elementary grades, but I want to be able to teach older students as well. I don’t want to have to pass them off to someone else when they most need me,” Lizzie said sincerely.

“So, are you thinking of starting a school here?” 

“I’m not sure. I still want to go North, but I don’t really know anyone there, and I’m scared of moving to a new city all by myself.”

“Well, perhaps I could come with you,” Derrick offered.

“And leave your plantation?” Lizzie asked skeptically.