"Ruin and Redemption"

Out in the Swamps

“Izzie?” He questioned, confused. The first thought that entered his head was that Izzie had finally come to him. She wanted him just the same as he wanted her. Why else would she be standing there in just her nightgown, without even knocking at the door? Now it was finally happening.

But then his conscience decided to kick in. Even if Izzie did want him, it said, it was his duty as her brother to tell her no. He was there to protect her, not get her pregnant. Who knows what might be wrong with their baby? Even if she was only a half-sister, that might still be too close. And besides, it just wasn’t right. They would both be shamed in front of the whole town, and it would be worst of all for Izzie, since she was a female, and had to be a lady.

Oh, why hadn’t God sent him a wife, yet? Why was he still waiting? Was it what he had done to Michael? Did he not deserve a normal life, with a wife? Would the nightmares and the voices never end? He had done their bidding once, and he supposed they would go on trying to get him to do something else bad for the rest of his life here!

Izzie looked at her brother, wondering what was going on in his mind. The way he was staring at her was a bit disconcerting. She even began to feel a tiny trickle of fear. She stared back at him, not knowing what to say. What was she doing here in his room with just her nightgown? The shawl had fallen from around her shoulders as she ran back to the house in search of Celia.

“I got to get dressed, Izzie.” Josiah heard the right and normal words coming out of his mouth. Thank God! He breathed a disappointed sigh of relief. He wasn’t going to sleep with his sister. He was going to do the right thing.

Now she could speak. This was just her older brother who had always tried to protect her, had always been there to take their late father’s beatings for all of them. He had always been there, never run off. He had been waiting by the door to protect the rest of them by taking all their fahter’s wrath upon himself. Who knew what kind of dream he had been having? Maybe that was why he had looked at her so strangely?

“I was lookin’ fer Celia. That’s why I came in like that, Joe. She ain’t around the house or the yard, or the outhouse. I thought someone took her.” She wasn’t going to say now that she had suspected Joe.

Now he was awake and thinking logically.

“Nobody came for her, Izzie. We woulda heard the horses. Even sleeping sound, we woulda heard, I think. She musta took off, Izzie.”

“Ran away?” Izzie asked, incredulously. They were such good friends, Izzie had even vowed not to marry for Celia's sake. Well, partially. She wasn’t sure she wanted a man, ‘less he thought her completely equal to himself. An’ she didn’t know if that kind of man would ever turn up in Horry County.

“Yeah, Izzie. I think it makes more sense. Somebody coulda taken her, but one of us at least woulda woken up, I think. She must have left.”

“But why, Josiah? Why would she leave us?” Izzie was crestfallen.

“Well, Izzie. It wasn’t your fault, I’m sure. She never got on with me that much, yuh know thet.” He couldn’t help feeling hurt as well. He might have stared at her the wrong way a few times, but he had never tried to hurt or intimidate her. He had always kept himself in line, and tried his best to treat Celia just as good as his own sister.

He was surprised at how deeply Celia’s desertion affected him; He had thought he wanted both her and Izzie to move out, but now he found himself deeply hurt and confused. He had to find Celia and bring her home where she belonged.

“Hold on, Izzie.” He closed the door and went to his chest, where he took out his trousers and a shirt, and jacket. When he was dressed, he found his boots near the front of his bed, and pulled them on, quickly lacing, and double tying them. He didn’t want to risk them coming untied on the horse, or if he had to chase Celia down.