"Ruin and Redemption"

Honest Conversations

“I’m not worried ‘bout Izzie an’ Mindy. They ken take keer of each other. But mebbe you an’ Lizzie both could come over an’ visit sometimes ta keep ‘em from bein’ too lonesome.”

“Yes, we could do that.” Derrick agreed reluctantly. He wasn’t keen on spending his spare time socializing with sharecroppers. And Josiah’s wife had rejected him, which was still a sore spot. Nevertheless, he supposed it was his duty as a Southern man to look in on the women his neighbor was leaving behind.

“Good. I’m counting on it. It will ease my mind to know the girls aren’t isolated.”

“Yes, we’ll be sure to stop by every few weeks.” Lizzie assured him. She was tired of being excluded from the conversation.

“Alright, then.” Josiah smiled at her. “I’ll let the ladies know you’ll both be visitin’ often. Rebecca said she’ll stop in when she ken, too.” Josiah said firmly; He hoped Lizzie and Derrick would stick to their word. It was hard to imagine Derrick paying a social call to his family.

Derrick felt tense thinking of Rebecca. He wasn’t keen on running into her himself, or Lizzie running into her and possibly figuring out Rebecca’s child was also his. He resolved to come as little as possible to avoid complications.

“I’ll be leavin’ in a few days to join the regiment.” Josiah announced, “I’ll miss you, Lizzie.” He ventured.

“I’ll miss you, too, Josiah!” Losing him to the war was going to be the hardest thing she had had to endure in a long time. “Please come back, Josiah! Don’t leave me forever, Josiah!”

“I don’t plan on getting kilt, Lizzie. I’m gonna be back in a few years, I reckon. Accidents happen, but I‘m pretty sure I’ll make it back. I’m gonna do what Michael tells me to, an’ hope fer the best.”

“Yes, he’ll help you I‘m sure, Josiah.” Lizzie assured him, hopefully.

“He’ll help me so I ken get back an’ he’p Derrick take keer of you, Lizzie. So stay healthy--- Don’t get sick or nothin’.” Josiah smiled sheepishly. “Doubt my life is all that important ta Michael without you around,” He admitted.

“Oh, Josiah. Don’t say that! If he said he’d help you, I’m sure he meant it… He can’t guarantee your life though, can he?” Lizzie asked anxiously. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she was more than anxious; She was terrified. She felt as if she were falling into a black pit. Josiah would be no where around if she needed him for years. There would be no man other than Derrick to look out for her. With Michael and her father gone, she had relied so much on Joe. What was she going to do? How was she going to cope?

“Nah. He can’t guar’ntee it, Lizzie. But he ken give me an extra dose of luck. An’ I reckon thet’s prob’ly going to be enough ta keep me out of harm’s way.”

“I hope so, Josiah!” Lizzie ran to him and clung to him tightly. She didn’t ever want to let him go. She would go with him to War; She wouldn’t let him go like this, without her. Tears were streaming down her face.

“Oh, for Heaven’s sakes, Lizzie, let’s go home! We’ve spent enough time standing around in the street talking about some dead ni--” Before he could get the word out, Lizzie and Josiah had both turned to glare at him, “Michael.” He amended, looking down, ashamed of himself.

“Alright, Derrick. We can go home now. But I want to come back to say good-bye to Josiah when he leaves.”

“We already did, Lizzie. You’re saying good-bye now, aren’t you?”

“It’s not the same. I want to say good-bye to him in his uniform when he leaves,” said Lizzie, her voice like that of her six year old self.

“Um, you don’t really haf’ to Lizzie.” Josiah said uncomfortably. He had already overstepped his bounds with Lizzie. And he had promised Mindy a private good-bye at the edge of the woods. He had to be careful who saw him in his union uniform, too. “If you decide to come I’m leavin’ on Wednesday. Don’t tell anyone where you’re comin’, though. I don’t want anyone seein’ me in my union colors that doesn’t haf’ to.”