USWNT - One Shots

Don't Leave Me - Part 2

Sequel to the O'Solo - Don't Leave Me story. Kelley dealing with the loss of her wife.
(I'm weak for the sappy writing)

**

"Let me help you with that." Carli offered, picking a box up right in front of Kelley.
"I'm not helpless, Car. I can do this on my own." Kelley snapped, closing her eyes seconds later. They both sighed in unison.
"I know." Carli said simple back, still holding onto the box. "I know you can, but you shouldn't have to." She continued, smiling pale towards the younger widow.

Carli had been living with Kelley for the past weeks, both dealing in their own way with the loss of their best friend. Kelley tended to pretend everything was fine, and wanting to do everything on her own, and go on as nothing had happened. Then snap. Carli was more a quiet griever, trying her best to not break down when Kelley needed her to be strong.

"How are you feeling about some of the girls staying here?" Carli asked the younger girl, as she prepared some dinner. "I'm sure they could find somewhere else to stay if you want to be alone." She continued, referring to the upcoming weekend.
Hope's funeral. Alex, Tobin, Christen, Ashlyn and Ali were all supposed to crash at the now way too big house for just one.
"It's okay. I want them here." Kelley said short, not giving up much emotion. Carli nodded, not pushing it any further.
Just looking at the younger girl made Carli shiver. She was not the same person she was before. It was like she lost her spark. The life joy, the positivity and energy she's always been known for, her passion, it died with her wife.

Kelley knew she was acting unfair. She knew she was being harsh to Carli for trying to help, she knew she was wrong to snap all the time.
She just didn't know what else to do.
She couldn't breath. Every second of every day her mind wanders off to that day at the hospital, her last words to her wife. How she wishes she would've said the right words, the words that would've woken her up.
Her world had lost colors, her life had lost meaning. She didn't know how to go on, so she pretended everything was fine. It was the only way she could cope.

**

"Kel, can you get the door?" Carli yelled out into the house, being occupied with cooking. "Kelley?" She asked again, as the doorbell rang a second time.
She sighed, seeing as she got no response. Carli took the pan of the stove and prayed it wouldn't ruin the food completely.

"Alex, Tobin. Come in." Carli greeted her friends and former teammates as they walked inside the seemingly empty house.
Tobin and Alex both felt something missing the second they entered. It wasn't the same.
"Hi, Car. How are you?" Alex asked polite, giving her friend a tight hug. Tobin followed, all avoiding the elephant in the room.
"I'm okay." Carli nodded, trying to sound convincing.
"Wish I could say the same about her." She added, hinting upstairs. The two guests both knew who Carli was referring too, and looked up the stairs with sad eyes.
"Is she dealing at all?" Tobin asked, now leaning against the stairs. Carli shook her head.
"Not really." She spoke honest, about to say something more as the focus got changed.

"Toby, Alex!" Kelley spoke from the top of the stairs, sounding way more causal than expected. It was clear that she had been crying, and had tried her best to cover it up. The other women gathered at the bottom, waiting for whatever met them.
"I missed you guys." Kelley continued, still way too optimistic. Tobin and Alex didn't know what to do, and they both just looked back and fourth confused.
Carli was more used to the change in moods and inappropriate reactions from the girl.
"Jesus," Kelley stopped mid-stairs, frowning at her friends as they didn't mirror her smile.
"Who died?" Kelley joked, but it definitely didn't catch on. All three now looked shocked, that was one too far.
"Right. That was my wife. Anyone hungry?" Kelley was on a roll, not stopping her comments. It took all of them off guard, and they really had no idea how to handle the mess of a girl in front of them.
Kelley just walked right past them and into the kitchen, leaving the others startled.
"Smells good, Car." She shouted back, shaking the others out of their thoughts.
Carli just sighed, shaking her head helplessly at the other two. "Not dealing." She said, adding up under her statement earlier.

The four of them small talked and kept playing Kelley's games. They didn't want to break down the clearly heartbroken girl, knowing the grief would kick in sooner or later.
Christen, Ashlyn and Ali came not too long after, all catching on that something was wrong. Press was the first one to not take it, asking if she could try and talk to Kelley. The others agreed that it was worth a shot, seeing as she's known her the longest and was the most cheerful one out of the group.

"Can I- Kelley, can we talk?" Christen walked out to the backyard, where Kelley was now seated alone. She had a glass on wine in her hand, just looking out over the horizon.
"Press." Kelley said simple, hinting for her to sit down in the empty chair next to her.
"That is Hope's chair, by the way. But as she won't be needing it anymore, just go ahead." Kelley spoke causal, taking a sip of her glass.
Her defense mechanism was so clearly not working for her, and it broke Christen's heart to see her best friend so closed off.
"Kelley, you can't keep doing this." Christen started, trying her best to find the right words. It was really an impossible thing to do considering the circumstances.
"What?" She asked quickly, pretending to be clueless. "Grieving over my dead wife the way I want to? I can't do that?" She snapped sharp, clearly fighting hard to stay strong. It was all a facade, the comments and 'humor', it became clear in that moment to Christen.
"I know you're hurting, and it's okay. You don't have to be strong all the time, Kelley. It's okay to fall apart." Christen knew that was what Kelley feared the most, failing. Not being the superwoman that she usually is. Not being the woman Hope needed her to be. She always was though, no matter what Hope wouldn't loved her for a life time.
"It's not." Kelley suddenly changed her attitude, sounding sincere for the first time.
"If I fall apart now, I'm never gonna be okay again. Hope is not here to put me back together. I can't, I'll lose it if I do." The sound of Kelley's trembling voice was no where near what she had put up just seconds earlier.
Christen felt her insides break, she was shattered at the sight of her friend so broken.
"I'm here. We are all here. Carli, Tobin, Alex, your family, Hope's. We all want you to be okay." Christen tried her best to once again find the right words, but at this point she wasn't sure the right words existed.

"You know, it's funny. I once joked saying if she died on me, I'd kill her. Didn't see the irony in that at the time. I honestly hate her for dying on me, but I still love her. That's the fucked up part, I'll never stop loving her and now I have nowhere to put all that love. All those emotions. I'm just gonna have to keep them inside and it's killing me. I don't know how to." Kelley let her heart out, for the first time trying to be honest about how she felt inside.

Even though Christen knew Kelley had a long way to go, she was finally talking. She was honest about how she felt, she let someone in on what she was dealing with. She didn't have to deal with it alone any longer, and that was how she knew Kelley was going to be okay.