USWNT - One Shots

OITNB - Group Chat

I know this has been done a million times before, but I wanted to give it a go just for fun! 

I'm currently watching OITNB and this is somewhat how my own group chat looks atm and I thought it was funny, so why not.

The girls discussing Orange Is The New Black in their *FAKE* group chat.

**

*National Gals*

Abby: Anyone seen the OITNB ending??

Tobin: Where would we find time to be FINISHED already? We're not all retired, Wambach.

Abby: Auch..

Ashlyn: .....I sobbed at the ending

Kling: I wanna puke every time Chapman opens her mouth

Tobin: HOW, ASH?

Ali: she's finished bc she's been ignoring me this entire weekend

Ashlyn: No, babe! I love you

Ali: but you just love Alex Vause more

Kling: can't blame her for loving Vause tho I mean have you seen her

Abby: same

Moe: Kling, can u not snapchat me every. Freaking. Time. Chapman is on the screen just to put on the puking emoji please?

Pinoe: why is no one talking about Stella

Kelley: UHM, Ramos??

Kling: Sorry, bean. It brings out a lot of emotions in me okay

Hope: Kel, you do realize Ramos is literally the exact opposite of me

Tobin: oo, someone's in trouble

Abby: Question is: who's the hotter Alex?

Kling: Morgan

Moe: AW, thanks Klingy

Alex: wait, what is this

Tobin: Abby, that's not fair. Alex is not a super hot lesbian criminal international drug dealer, there's no way to compete

Alex: I'm so confused

Kelley: Hope is the hotter one obviously

Abby: Hey baby-horse, just ignore this conversation. The big girls are talking

Tobin: Kelley, get out

Hope: ...I'm not mad anymore

Ali: I'm still a little mad honestly

Alex: I don't know if I should be offended or not

JJ: I haven't seen the show (don't kill me)

Ashlyn: why am I not surprised

Press: I haven't either, JJ. It's okay, we'll get Alyssa to protect us

Kling: Cinnamon roll 1 and 2

Horan: You'd be finished too, Tobs, if you didn't spend all that time sneaking around with Press

Moe: what

Tobin: GO AWAY, Linds

Press: ..she's got a point tho

Tobin: you're not helping

Press: don't write that tone with me

Kelley: oo, someone's in trouble

Tobin: that didn't even make sense

Abby: we're getting side-tracked people

Ashlyn: so NO ONE knows what happens?

Tobin: NO, and don't spoil

Kling: I saw a spoiler on Twitter and I'll never be okay again

Pinoe: don't say that, you're scaring me

Ashlyn: I need to vent to someone, I need people to suffer with

Moe: I'm TRYING to watch but you texting every other second is making that hard

Abby: okay, everyone stop what you're doing and go watch NOW. We'll talk again when we're all done

Kling: ay, ay, captain

Tobin: but I got practice

Hope: don't we all got practice?

Abby: sacrifices must be made.

Tobin: easy for you to say, Wambach, bc AGAIN you're RETIRED

Moe: and you're not really CAP anymore so you can't tell me what to do

Kelley: aw look at lil' bean being all rebellious and shit how cute

Broon: I am your captain, and I'm telling you all to stop blowing up my phone

Moe: can't argue with that

Tobin: THE BROON has spoken. Peace out

Ashlyn: but y'all are gonna watch now tho, right? ..Please?

..

Ashlyn: guys, u done yet?

Are you even watching?

Abby: Ashlyn, stop. I'll mourn with you in another chat

Tobin: MOURN?? Noo, what happens?? I hate y'all