Apart

Chapter 14

I sit down and play with Deshaun as Marshall just goes down to the studio, I know that nothing good comes out of arguing with him right now, he just needs to cool down. I don't know if I should stay or what, I want to stay because we made some promises last night and I want this. I know that it's difficult for Marshall to trust me but I'll do whatever it takes. Marshall is in town for the next couple of days so I wanna hold on to this and I want him to spend time with Deshaun.

Few hours later..

I put Deshaun up for a nap and I head down to the studio and I hope that Marshall is easier to talk to now.
When I open the door to the studio, I hear an undone beat and I see Marshall playing with the sounds to build it.

"Marshall!" I yell over the loud beat. Marshall turns his head and looks at me where he afterwards turns off the beat. "Can we talk?"

"Yeah." He just says and I sit down on the chair across from him. "What's up?"

"You're giving me really mixed signals and it's making me crazy." I say. Marshall doesn't say anything, he just looks at me. Apparently he doesn't have any intention to make a comment about that so I speak again. "I just wanna know what you're thinking."

"No you won't." He says.

"I want you.. us.. so bad." I say.

"But you also want Kevin."

"No Marshall." I say. "Listen.. I can't deny that there's a lot of chemistry between him and I, but for the most I just think he was a distraction from you. I'm ready to do what it takes to get you back."

"We talked about that shit last night and you wouldn't give those things up which I completely understand."

"I don't care if I have to quit my job and be a prisoner in this house, as long as my family is back together." I say and as crazy it sounds, I mean it. I just wanna be a family with Marshall again.

"Are you serious?" He asks.

"Yes Marshall, I'm serious." I assure him.

"But it doesn't change the fact that I don't trust you."

"No I know that but you can hire Caleb to watch me." I suggest.

"But you have to quit your job and I won't allow that." Marshall says. "I don't want you to quit your job man, I want you to do what you're good at but having you traveling around and sometimes working with male models, I just.. I just know I'm gonna get so fucking jealous and that I'm gonna be up in your ass."

"Then what do you want?" I ask not sure where he's going with this.

"I don't fucking know." He says and slide his hands down his face. "I want you but I can't trust you."

"Can't we work on it?" I ask him. I know that he's not gonna trust me right away, I wouldn't either.

"While we both travel around?" He asks like I'm stupid enough to think that.

"Caleb can watch me." I suggest again sounding so desperate.

"Are you hearing yourself right now?"

"How we have been acting lately haven't been working either so we have to find a solution." I say and Marshall just sighs as he leans back in the chair. "Marshall I love you."

"Yeah I love you too but that ain't enough." He says. I now move myself over on top of him but he doesn't touch me. I just wanna be close to him. I need him. "Christina don't seduce me man. I told you, I'm not gonna fuck you until I'm completely sure that you ain't seeing Kevin no more."