«Intentions» v.k

Chapter Nineteen: In Love.

Yoongi's POV.

"Are you still in love with Jungkook?" He asks, solemnly. A small, sad smile littered along his lips. His eyes searched my face before adding an explanation to his sudden question, that had obviously caught me off guard. "It just hit me as to why you got so angry once we told you." He took a deep breath. "I know that he's your best friend, but the more I thought about it, you're always really overprotective over him. You always go out of your way to make sure he's smiling. You're always getting jealous whenever we see Hope talking to him and making him giggle. I find it hard to believe, even in the short time that I've known you, that someone like you would act that way to someone who's 'just a friend'." He concluded.

I was stunned. I blinked rapidly, trying to come up with an explanation for my actions but I was at a loss. 'Was I in love with Jungkook?' I frantically asked myself, wanting to rip my hair out. Jimin and I had a connection, but me and Jungkook... There was always a spark between us. 'Maybe it was just lust?'

"Jimin, I..." Trailing off, I saw the hurt on his face. The tears had already started streaming, and it was my fault.

"No, no, it's fine Hyung. I understand." He said, surprisingly without his voice cracking. He took a step forewords into my droopy arms that lay obediently by my sides. They automatically kicked into action and held the shorter boy (I never let him forget that he is indeed shorter than me) in my tender grip. He started to shake and I felt the material on my chest become cold and wet. "We did rush into this pretty quick after all. It was bound to end as quick as it started." He whispered against my now damp shoulder.

"I don't know if..." I said, hoping he understood what I meant to say. I was never too good at mushy stuff like this. I was Min freaking Yoongi, not Bella Swan! I was kawaii on the streets and senpai in the sheets! I wasn't used to this kind of Twilight love triangle. "I love you, but... I don't know my feelings for him..."

"Yoongi." Jimin said, gripping at the front of my t-shirt, clenching it into his little fists to pull me down closer to him. Our foreheads touched as we looked into each others eyes. His eyes sparkled with tears as they bore into mine, looking innocent. "I'll wait for you." He breathed deeply, inhaling my cologne. He smiled another small, sad smile.

And with that, he left.

I stood alone in my living room, before grabbing my keys and storming out; I needed to walk around and clear my head before I had to start work.

*******

I sat in the cafe, after finishing my shift, and stirred aimlessly at the fourth beer in my hand. I was never one to drink, as I couldn't hold my liquor, but I needed to gear myself up for what was going to happen in a short while. It swirled, the colours of the foam started to merge with the bitter brown of the alcohol. I sighed as I heard the main door open. I had texted him to meet me here, I had some important stuff to say.

"Hey, Hyung!" The boy leaned over me, worry etched over his face. "What's wrong?" I had already spoken to him about the events of yesterday, so we were going to talk properly about it later. I needed to get this off of my chest first.

I noticed the way he talked with such passion, he actually cared for me. I screwed up with him before, I won't let it happen again.

I exploded, scattering all of the collateral damage into him. "I love you both, that's what's wrong! I can't get you out of my head! You and 'him' are both the most caring people I have ever met, and I don't want to lose you to anyone else! You brats mean so much to me and I don't think I'm able live without you in my life. I can't let myself ruin what we all have, but I can't help it!" My vision started to get blurry and the room seemed to be caught in a machine machine, but I made no effort to leave. "I have to choose!" I shout loudly at him before whispering; "I'm done with the confusion. No one else can get hurt anymore." I mumbled, nibbling at my bottom lip.

"Hyung." He gasped, not expecting my sudden outburst. The tension became thick and uncomfortable quickly. "Are you drinking?!" He pointed at my glass, squinting his gorgeous eyes to peer into my tumbler. "You're not thinking straight." He declared, crossing his arms like a child.

"Never mind that." I wave my arms, gesturing for him to forget about it. "I have something important to figure out."

"Um, okay." He hesitates, finally sliding into the chair opposite mine. He places his elbows on the table upright to rest his chin in his hands. He gave me his full attention.

I was way in over my head here. The alcohol had already begun to take its toll and sent my head into a frenzied spiral. I just had to do it, and it would be over. My drunken self would decide what my true feelings were. If Seokjin had taught me anything, drunk words were sober thoughts. I thought about the two boys. I took in everything, before plunging myself into a trust fall with my brain. I opened my mouth to speak boldly.

"Do you love me?" I ask, to test the waters.

"Not in the way I think you're implying." He says back, bluntly. "I may have liked you before, but now... It's not the same."

"There's someone else, isn't there?"

"Yeah." He admits.

And in that moment, I knew what I wanted.

"Will you marry me, Jimin?" My drunken state blurted out, blindly.

Jungkook stared at me. "Hyung, I'm not Jimin." He said, almost as quiet as a whisper. I was happy at what I had just exclaimed. I knew I was merry, but marriage was what I wanted. I think to myself, reassuringly. 'I want to marry Jimin. I want to be with him at his lows, and at his highs. I want to go to sleep every night happy that I would wake up with him tangled in my arms. I wanted to be the reason that he was happy. I wanted to be the one to cause those cute little smiles, those high pitch squeaks of embaressment, and those heavenly noises he emitted when he reached an orgasm. I was desperate for him. But I will promise myself one thing; I will marry that boy.'

I waited quietly, the air taunting one of us to say something. I wiped the back of my mouth with my hand as I chucked money on the table, not counting the amount. "I know." I sling my heavy bag onto my shoulder. "Thank you. Thank you Jungkook, for showing me what I really want." I flash him a gummy smile, ruffling his hair, before dashing out of the doors and hurrying dizzily down the slippery road.

"No problem?" He asked, shouting so I could hear as I sped away. He watched as I ran to my house to collect a special item that had been on my mind for a while now.