Trust Me, I'm Lying|| Eric Coulter

A Wake

Zarah's POV:
"Is she going to be okay?" I ask as Four walks out of the infirmary and into the hall towards Ken, Tris,Thaddeus, Eric and me.
"She's got 10 stitches and has suffered a minor concussion. She'll be fine that's for sure. But..." he pauses.
"But?" I ask urging him to continue.
"Somebody should've told us about her situation when you arrived" Eric pipes in sounding uninterested. 
Of course since it's not about him it doesn't really matter to him. Bet money if I went to his apartment right now it would be a place purely dedicated to him.
Fucking self absorbed bastard.
"This is Dauntless you wouldn't give two shits about her" Ken says with his arms crossed across his chest.
"She was doing fine until Eric tried to kill her" I mutter looking at Eric with a disgusted look.
Turning to face me his eyes change to a Steele grey. I scrunch up my nose and step closer to him fighting back every nerve to punch him in the face.
"Really? Is that so?" he says invading my personal space.
"That stupid rule about beating each other until we're unconscious only started when you became leader. Also hanging a person over a pit of death would make anyone go insane!" I yell before pushing him aside so I can make my way in the direction of Ken.
Hugging Ken tightly he pats my back gently to calm my nerves. A silence falls amongst us. In the distance the sound of beeping  heart monitor machines kills me inside.
"She's on bed rest for a week so she won't be able to go home tomorrow" Four speaks up breaking the silence.
In all the years I've known Tyree this is the biggest mental break she's ever had. The poor girl didn't deserve any of this at all.
Her parents didn't give two shits about her once they sent her off to Erudite they took it as their opportunity to get rid of the daughter they never wanted.
They forgot her in a matter of weeks. Once she got back they didn't even recognise her or even acknowledge her existence.
She's the strongest person I know, and all she needs right now is a friends, but I'm too chicken shit to face my own fears. My friend is hurt and I'm too scared to go and be with her.
You scared little bitch Zarah. Why can't you do it? Tyree needs you. Fuck I can't do it! You pathetic human being and you call yourself her best friend.
Walking down the hallways I hug myself trying to get my emotions under control. Things have been different between us all since her mental break. But how are we supposed to act? Happy as though nothing had happened or depressed as though she had just died?
With every other mental break she's had it's just been Ken and I which has been easier to cope with.   But now with more people it's hard and the funny thing is I have no idea why. I should be happier because we have more people looking out for her.
Without even realising it I find myself standing at the foot of the chasm. Walking to the middle I drop myself onto my ass and sit myself comfortably on the metal bridge. It shakes for a while but stops.
This is my special place now. No one comes around here because people usually come here to end their lives or to my knowledge experience a near death experience by the hands of Eric.
He's the only one that knows I come here. Eric. I kind of wish he didn't know that I come here because whenever I'm in a very deep train of thought he comes along and ruins it all.
"You have a habit of getting mad at the wrong people"
Speak of the devil.
"And you have a habit of pissing me off" I say feeling extremely annoyed.
Sitting himself comfortably next to me he rests his arm across my shoulder. I try to shove him off me but I'm much too weak. We sit alongside each other making random noises just to cover up the awkwardness between the both of us.
"Do you want to sleep with me?" I ask breaking the silence.
"What?" He asks raising an eyebrow in confusion.
"I don't mean sex I mean sleep with me. Back in Candor Ken would sleep with me when I couldn't sleep. And since I figured he'd be staying with Tyree for the night I figured....."
"That I'd want to sleep with you. I connected the dots" he says unamused.
"So do you want to? Ya know we can stay at my place or yours? I'm not sure wether your software is capable powering down so.." say struggling to get my words straight.
"My software is due for an update but it's still capable of attending to the everyday lifestyle of any normal human"
"I hate you" I say in annoyance.
"It's not fun when I play along huh?" He replies sound just like Ken.
"No" I reply crossing my arms an pouring my lips like a little kid.
Planting an unexpected kiss on my cheek I jump out of shock. A smile forms on his lips as he pulls away from me.
"I accept your offer. You know for a girl that claims to hate me you sure do ask a lot from me" he says with such pride in his voice as he hugs me tightly.
"Don't flatter yourself Eric you were second choice. I knew I'd regret asking you" I reply hugging him back.
The feeling in my stomach begins to grows and the butterflies begin to fly. I slide myself away from him, but it only grows stronger. My body shakes uncontrollably and my heart begins to beat out of my chest.
What the hell? Am I sick? You must be you're heating up.
"You look weird stop that" he says giving me an annoyed look.
"I don't feel too good. I think your  face is making me sick" I joke immediately standing to my feet.
He follows behind me like a lost puppy as I make my way up to the rooftops. Pushing the rusty doors open the feeling of cool breeze immediately calms my nerves. Walking to the edge I sit myself comfortably as I dangle my legs along the side of the building.
He sits himself comfortably beside me and wraps his arm around my waist and pulls me close to his body. A kiss is planted on my cheek and I can feel my face immediately burn up. Instead of moving away I place my left hand on his right leg.
As much as I hate him I love the fact that he's here with me right now. The way he's holding me makes me feel safe. This is probably the safest I've ver felt with anyone. Perhaps it's the fact that he's a leader and he's really scary, but all I know is that I don't mind it at all.
The reason I hated him at the start was because I automatically assumed he'd be an asshole. Like that always say don't judge a book by its cover. There is still a part of me that's afraid to trust him, but I'll only know unless I try.
I turn my head to see his blue eyes already looking right at me. For a moment everything seems so much easier. He leans down close ready to connect his lips with mine, but I pull myself away.
"You're such a fucking tease!" He moans laying on his back.
"I'm not ready yet Eric. I barely know you and you suddenly think I'm going to gives myself to you?"
"Well yea" he says with such confidence.
"I'm gonna go now..........see you later" I immediately walk off not giving him anytime to reply.
Oh shit Zarah you don't even know where he lives!!
Walking back to the rooftop I accidentally walk straight into him.  Fixing up my eye sight I let out an embarrassed chuckle.
"So um......funny story.....I um..... Don't know where you stay" I say as I brush my hair with my fingers. 
"I'll pick you up from your place at 6:30 we have to leave at 7:00am tomorrow morning so bring some clothes. See you later bitch" he says with a slight chuckle.
"Idiot"
Pushing me to the side with his big brawny shoulders I stumble back only slightly. In an instance he's gone.
For some odd reason I feel lost. Not lost as in I don't know where I am. Well that is one thing I've never been to this part of Dauntless before, but lost as in I have no idea what the fuck to the do now.
I've really got to make some more friends.
Walking down unfamiliar hallways I find myself in front of two big doors. Without thinking twice I immediately shove the doors open. The room is covered with computer screens which show what I can only assume us all of Dauntless.
Stepping inside even more I examine each of the screens one by one. The sound of high pitched giggles fills the room and grows louder as they grow closer. I turn my head and know in an instant who the giggles belong to.
"You seriously have a habit of turning up at worst times" Four snaps releasing Tris from his grasp.
"I got lost. I'm gonna g-" all words are lost by the very sight of him in the corner of my eye.
I turn my body fully to face the screen my eyes lock on my brother. His head between his legs with a bottle of whiskey beside him and a needle in his right hand. Guilt is written across his face. He ties a thin a cloth tightly around his arm he sticks the needle into his vein without hesitation.
You stupid motherfucker Thaddeus.
Grabbing Four by the collar of his shirt I shove him against the big metallic doors. Tris tries to pull me off of him but I punch her in the face just to slow her down.
"Where the fuck is he? Tell me!" I yell.
There's a fire burning in my belly and there's nothing that can put out.
"Down the hall to the right follow it straight ahead take a left go down the stairs then take a right you'll find him there" he says calmly.
Releasing him from my grasp I pull  the doors wide open.
"Whatever you see don't come and if you tell anyone about what you're about to see I won't hesitate to kill you" I warn them before slamming the doors shut.
My heart pounds faster and faster with every step I take. My mind is too concentrated on what I'm going to do to my brother to think about reasoning with him. With what I'm feeling right now I could kill him and not feel anything at all.
When someone you love makes you a promise and you see them break it before your very eyes nothing matters anymore. I get that he's depressed, but there are so many other ways to get around this.
Before turning the final corner I stop at the sound of his desperate sobs. It pains me to hear my brother in such pain. I vowed never to let my brother be in pain anymore. I have failed him.
Stepping out I look on the ground to see my brother sprawled out across the floor. The used needle wedged in the crack on the floor and the half empty bottle of whiskey in his right hand. The vein in his left arm is purple and swollen with needle punctures running along it.
"You stupid motherfucker" I mutter as the hot tears of anger escape my eyes.
Immediately rising to his feet he attempts to grab me but he's much too slow.
"You shouldn't be here Rebel!" He slurs.
"You're using again? Did you forget what the fuck we went through?!" I scream.
Grabbing his head I smash it against the concrete wall. Blood trickles down his nose but I feel no pity at all. Falling onto his back I take the opportunity to kick him in the face. More blood spatters across the floor but I make no attempts in stopping.
"Rebel please" he begs with pain and agony in his voice.
"Please?! Is that the best you've got? You almost murdered Lauryn and me when you used the last time!" the only thing I can feel towards my brother is hatred.
"Rebel I-"
"Shut up I haven't finished talking!" I snap.
A silence falls between us and he allows me to continue.
"I should've let you die. But I didn't. You are my family and dad always said family is the only true thing you'll ever have in this world. But if you want to die right here and now....then I'll be the one that's going to kill you" 
Grabbing the needle I fill it with air and hold it within my grasp. I grip his throat tightly within my grasp in order to pump up one of his jugular veins.
All I need to do is inject his veins with this and his life will be over. He's hurt me and I've forgiven him every single god damn time. Now I've had enough. If I do have to kill him I'll make no hesitation in doing it myself. I've learnt to live with the blood on my hands. Another one won't hurt.