Trust Me, I'm Lying|| Eric Coulter

Closet to Narnia

Q&A
Favourite quote?
You've got the same blood pumping through both your hearts. That's a bond you can never break~ Blood In Blood Out
Song recommendation:
I Hate You, I Love You by Olive O'brien
Zarah's POV:
Shit shit shit
I curse internally as I pace nervously back and fourth throughout my apartment nervously. It's 4am and Eric's still sound asleep in my bed. Usually by now he'd be gone, but he's still here.
Last night was a huge mistake, I wish I could turn back time and stop him from ever kissing me. Now he won't leave my apartment.
Fuck what have I done?!
Since the time that everything happened to now I've managed to get a total of 3 hours worth of sleep, the healthy dosage of hours is 8. I'm currently running off whatever food I managed to find in my apartment which won't last me very long energy wise.
Looking back at the peaceful sleeping Eric I smile a sad smile and place a soft kiss on his temple. His head shakes slightly then drops back onto the pillows. Small breaths escape his lips making him seem like a little child. The lines that are usually deep across his forehead are nowhere to be seen, and his beautiful eyelashes flutter now and then.
He looks so peaceful, no cares of the world surrounding him because he's in his own little world.
Slowly and carefully I write a small note and leave him to sleep. There's no need for him to wake up anytime soon.
Eric, I've gone to the gym. Sorry I didn't wake you up, even great leaders like yourself need some sleep.
Love: Queen of Awesomeness
Stepping out of the apartment I charge for apartment 1773. It's a few floors up, but further away I am from Eric, the safer and less regretful I'll feel.
I feel like I'm in the wrong right now. I feel like a complete whore. Maybe it's because I expected Eric to do the walking out, since that's what he always does. Instead I did the walking out.
Has he ever been walked out on? Is he hurt?
All these questions running through my head makes me feel just as bad.
I finally get to the floor and pound furiously on the door.
In an instance a young brown haired boy with hazel eyes opens the door. His hair is in the typical bed head style. His eyes are slightly bloodshot and full of sleep. His sweat pants hang low against his hips revealing his happy trail and stopping just above his special place. His body is like a cross between Channing Tatum and Joe Manganiello. It's the perfect combination.
In his hand he holds a freshly brewed cup of tea and on his face he holds a confused look.
I grab the cup of tea in his grasp and shove past him "Move" I hiss.
Taking a few sips of tea I place the cup on the counter and quickly start getting undressed. Now walking around this stranger apartment completely naked he stares at me in shock, but does nothing to stop me.
I run into the bathroom and turn the shower onto the lava temperature. The hot water on my skin makes it feel as though I'm washing off all of the negativity and all of Eric's cooties.
"Rebel What the fucks going on with you, you asshole?" Ken yells from the other side of the glass casing.
"Shut your face hole Felicia!" I snap at him.
Nailed it.
Still confused as to where I am? I'm at Kens boyfriends house. Marcos or some shit like that. The dudes been dating him for 1 week and he thinks he's in love. They're basically living with each other now. Maybe it's because they're the only 2 gay guys that have actually come out and they found each other, I don't know, I'm speculating at this point.
I do have to admit I could've introduced myself to his boyfriend a bit better, but in my defence I am an asshole.
I'm pretty sure that the dude I made cry once when we were fighting?
"That's one way to talk to your best friend" Ken says handing me a towel to dry myself off.
Quickly patting myself down I wrap the towel around my hair and grab the clothes within his grasp.
I slip on the pair of men's jockeys, long sweat pants and a plain white shirt and quickly each mine myself in the mirror. The weird thing about this, is that I can actually fit all of this stuff properly. If anything I might be a tad bit big for these clothes.
"I need to tell you something, but you need to promise me you won't tell anyone okay?" I beg Ken.
He nods his head slightly and a smile forms across my face.
"And you're not telling me why?" A voice yells from the other side of the wall.
"Didn't your mother teach you not to eaves drop?!" I yell at the stranger behind the wall.
"Tris hurry up!!" Ken yells in annoyance.
She's stays next to me. Then who li- oh you bitch you're staying with Four!
Kens boyfriend opens the door and in runs Four and Tris. The two of them look as though they had been drinking all night long and they're still drunk. The faint smell of liquor lingering off of their skin and their faint bloodshot eyes shows me that they are still drunk.
Ken hands each of them a glass of ice water and they cheerfully take it from him.
"I sorta slept with Eric" I mumble.
"What?!" They all yell in unison.
"Are you serious?!" Four asks sounding as though he's gonna throw up.
The nerves start to grow in my stomach and I can't help but feel that I may throw up as well.
"He came to the apartment as he always does-"
"Question" Markus cuts me off.
I exhale loudly "Yes Markus" I smile slightly annoyed by the fact that he stopped me mid sentence.
"We're you drunk?"
"I wish" I mumble rolling my eyes back at him.
"Being sober doesn't make this story any better" Four laughs, his voice sounding like he's just taken a huge puff of weed and he's trying to keep it down.
I grab a pillow and angrily smack him in the face with it "He kissed me, and I lost it. I was ready to do anything that he wanted....even...." I pause instantly regretting ever coming here.
Knowing this bunch they'll blow it all out of proportion. They'll probably say some witty shit like "You're engaged" or "You two should get along it's obvious you two like each other". See what I mean? I don't like romance. I did once upon a time, but not anymore. I'm a lone wolf and I like it that way.
No one to dress up and look pretty for. No need for me to be jealous and stress out about wether my significant other is sleeping with someone else. And most of all, I'll be strong and independant all by myself.
At the rate I'm going I think I might just adopt a whole bunch of cats right now. Probably move out of here, become faction less and start a recolouring against all of the other factions.
Anyways back to the conversation.
"Give it up?" Ken asks with a concerned look on his face.
"No let him throw me off the building. Yes give it up, but he stopped me"
"What do you mean he stopped you?"
"I mean he didn't get lost in my closet to Narnia" I roll my eyes.
For top class students you his are really stupid.
As much as I want to snap at them I contain myself. It's not them I'm mad at anyways, it me I'm mad at. And my friends don't deserve to get yelled at or waked across the face with a pillow full of bricks.
"Oh my gosh, Macklemore?" Markus gasps in excitement.
"Of course!" I scream in response and embrace him in a happy hug.
Finally someone who loves or even knows who Macklemore is.
Sweet maybe this will make everyone forget what we were just ta-
"You're changing the subject!"
Jinxed it.
"He did things other than put his dick in me" I practically word vomit wanting the embarrassment to wash over as quickly as possible.
The thought of Eric touching me or basically the very thought of Eric makes me feel both ashamed and aroused. I'm such a hypocrite. I talk about all those girls that slept with him and how they're such idiots and I became one of those girls. The worse thing is I wasn't intoxicated or anything I did it on my own free will.
"What happened after that?" Tris asks her voice full of remorse follower by a few drunken giggles.
"Fuck knows I fell asleep while he was still talking" I reply swallowing down the tears of regret that's forming in my throat.
My entire body's shaking and my eyes are slowly becoming blurry. Eric's really done a number on me. I feel as though I've committed a deadly son or even cheated on someone. I feel so dirty. My skin just feels so gross. Everything feels off. One half wants to go to him and hug him while the other half just wants to kill him.
I did all the stuff by my own free will, so why do I feel like he rapped me?
"I'm confused, you guys are engaged, why are you freaking out?"
Good question
I've asked myself that question over and over again, but I've never really gotten a proper answer. There's many reasons, but none of those answers is satisfying for me. I have commitment issues that's for sure, I don't like being controlled and I don't like liars. All those answers make perfect sense logically, but it doesn't make perfect sense in my heart.
I let out a shaky sigh and give him an answer that will satisfy them "Because, once I give myself to him he'll screw me whenever he wants" as much as I want to believe those words, they're just not true.
You know what's worse than lying to others? It's lying to yourself.
"You're engaged, sooner or later you will sleep together"
A single tear falls from my eye and I cover it up my yawning.
Covering my face I walk in the direction of the exit "I'm gonna go get you a box of tampons. Because you sound like a bitch" I fake laugh.
As soon as the door closes behind me the tears fall like waterfalls. I'm not crying because of Eric. I'm crying because I don't know how I feel. In all my years I've known how I've felt or how I should feel. I've always been aware of everything that's happened or will happen to me.
But right now I for know how I'm feeling, why I'm feeling this way and what's made me feel this way. I feel weak. I feel as thigh I am no longer the master of my own body.
Eric has broken me. When I'm with him i have no sense of reason, I can't think for myself. Everything that I've done with him has been worked by blind faith. When I'm wit him I feel as though I've left my body.
He has a spell on me and it scares me. I'm lost, and I fear nobody will be able to find me. If I'm unable to find myself within the depths of this despair, then I highly doubt anyone else will be able to find me. Perhaps the only person that can find me at this point is the person that has put me under this spell. Eric may in fact be the only one that can help me figure out why I'm feeling this way.