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Yami Yugi: Yu-Gi-Oh!, the Abridged Series! According to Wikipedia, we don't exist!

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Setting: An alley in Domino City, mostly empty except two boys.

Stranger: Hey, punk! This card isn't Graceful Charity, it's Graceful Dice!

Guy: Really? I guess I got them confused. But you can't really blame me, they're very similar.

Stranger: Like heck they are! Graceful Dice has a dice on it, where as Graceful Charity does not have a dice! You sir, are a fool!

Mokuba: *blows a whistle*
Stop fighting!

Stranger: Who the heck are you?!

Mokuba: I'm the commissioner for the Battle City Tournament. What I say goes, and I say you have to buy me a pet rabbit, because my big brother won't let me have one.

Stranger: Nuts to your rabbit!

Seto: Oh Mokuba, are you abusing your position of power again?

Mokuba: Seto!

Stranger: Kaiba!

Seto: Sorry if my brother is bothering you. He does that. A lot. To show my sympathy, I'd like to offer you all the trading cards you'll ever need, but only if you duel me in return.

Stranger: This couldn't possibly be some form of a trap. I accept!

Seto: *smiling* Heh.

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Seto: Now you get to enjoy years of painful and upsetting therapy. Come on Mokuba, let's go get you that pet tarantula.

Mokuba: You mean "rabbit", right, Seto?

Seto: You are getting a tarantula and you will like it.

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Setting: On a stage inside a building.

Yami Yugi: Hey, a magic show! This looks slightly less depressing than watching Joey duel!

Clown: Neheheheheheh! Hello, Yugi! We've been expecting you! Come this way, my master is waiting!

Yami: *Thinking*
I spy with my little eye, something beginning with "gay clown". I have a bad feeling about this.

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Setting: Back on the streets.

Mokuba: Seto!

Seto: What?

Mokuba: Yugi just dropped off our sensors, we can't locate him! He's disappeared!

Seto: Somehow, this is your fault! If I wasn't so busy buying you a scorpion, this never would have happened!

Mokuba: But I thought we were getting a tarantula.

Seto: It's always about what you want, isn't it Mokuba?

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Setting: Underneath the stage.

"Steve" Arkana: You know, there is an old saying amongst high rollers and card sharks: "Always trust your opponents, but only after you cut their deck."

Yami: Yeah? Well here's another saying: "Go *BEEP* yourself, Arkana."

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Setting: Underneath the stage.

"Steve" Arkana: Your plot twists pale in comparison to mine! How could you possibly hope to beat a movie franchise that earns over $100 million every year!

Yami: I see. Then the only way to defeat you is to spoil every plot twist in existence. Thereby ridding the general public of any desire to see your convoluted mess of a movie series!

"Steve" Arkana: You wouldn't dare!

Yami: Wanna bet?
*inhales*
SNAPE KILLS DU-

Yami: Wanna bet?*inhales*SNAPE KILLS DU-

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Setting: The city streets.

Grandpa: Hello small child, I don't suppose you've seen the plot anywhere, have you? Téa and I have been looking everywhere for it.

Téa: We're such invaluable characters, the plot can't possibly move forward without us!

Mokuba: Don't worry, my big brother knows exactly wh-

Grandpa: Shut up, Mokuba!

Mokuba: No, you shut up!

There is a stunned silence.

Mokuba: Oh god, I am so sorry.

Téa: Did you just tell an old man to shut up?

Grandpa: Where the heck are your manners?!

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(Guess who's back?! It's finally summer!!! I can update more often! Yayyyyy! Thanks for hanging in everyone! As some of you have noticed, I have also made Thiefshipping - The Musical, so please go check it out! I would like to update that at least 4 times a week.

Thanks for reading! And for reading this (if you did), I leave you with a song parody.

Until next time~!)

The Phresh Pharaoh of Bel-Air:

Pharaoh Atem: *rapping to the beat of the theme song of the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air*
Now this is a story all about how
My life got flipped,
Turned upside-down.
And I'd like to take a minute,
Just sit down James,
I'll tell you how I became the undisputed King of Card Games.

In Northeastern Africa,
Born and raised.
In the palace, was where I spent most of my days.
Chillin' out max,
And relaxin' all the while,
Playin' some card games,
Right beside the Nile.
When a couple of guys,
Who were up to no good.
Started making trouble in my neighborhood.
I got in one little fight,
And the Gods got scared.
They said you're moving in with Yugi and his Grandpa downstairs.

I wound up in Japan and things were less clear like,
I couldn't kill folks for losing card games here!
If anything I could say that this place was lame but I thought:
Nah, forget it. I'll play some card games.

I.
Bought.
Card game booster packs,
Seven or eight.
And I yelled at the old man,
"Yoo-hoo, smell ya later!"
Looked at my kingdom,
I was finally there!
To sit on my throne with my ridiculous hair.

Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series!Where stories live. Discover now