Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series!

~33~ Harpoonshipping

Tristan: Hey, look! It's some random stranger we've never met before!

Joey: Excuse me pal, but have you seen any minor characters from season one around here?

Ryou Bakura: Actually guys, it's me, Bakura. I was a minor character in season one, remember?

Joey: Sorry pal, doesn't ring a bell. Wait, were you one of the Paradox Brothers?

Tristan: Maybe he's Yugi's grandpa!

Grandpa: *offscreen* I'm standing right over here!

Tristan: It's still possible.

Téa: *offscreen* Look guys, Mako Tsunami is performing at the local aquarium!

Joey: Mako Tusnami! I'd recognize him anywhere! He's the minorest of minor characters! *half singing* I smell a card game!~

Ryou: Oh, come on! You remember that wanker, but you don't know who I am?! We go to the same bloody school!

Joey: Tristan, is that guy talking to us?

Tristan: It's difficult to say.

Ryou: Oh, sod off!
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Joey: Yo, Freaky Fish Guy! What're ya doin' workin' in an aquarium? I figured you'd be tryin' to win the Battle City tournament like everybody else.

Mako: A lot has changed since season one, Joey Wheeler. I am not the duelist I used to be. You see, the ocean and I... we are separated.

Joey: Wha-?

Mako: You heard me! We are divorced. Now I'm dating this aquarium, which is a pretty sweet gig actually. She's a lot younger than the ocean, which has its benefits. And she appreciates me, unlike my ex-wife, who would always give me the silent treatment. Isn't that right aquarium?

Aquarium: *Stays silent*

Mako: ...The aquarium says yes.
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Yami Bakura: So you are the source of the gay signal I've been tracking! Though I probably could have deduced that without the use of my Gaydar. It seems we both have-

Marik: What? Woah woah, hold on now! You think that I'm-..! Look, I'll have you know that I like women!

Bakura: No doubt, that's probably why you've dressed yourself like one. Face it, you're about as manly as a Square Enix character! Shall I call you Captain Basch from Dalmasca?

Marik: Silence, fool! I would run you down with my obligatory anime motorcycle, but I have just noticed you have a Millennium Item. What is the deal with that?

Bakura: Oh, my Millennium Ring. Yes, that's mine. I use it to manipulate the fabric of time and space, bending it to my will in order to create shambling monstrosities that feed on the souls of the living. And sometimes I just use it to find gay people.

Marik: Why would you wanna do that?

Bakura: Secretly, I'm very lonely.
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Marik: My name is Marik.

Bakura: I don't care.

Marik: Well that was kind of insensitive. No wonder you're so lonely.

Bakura: Oh, like you're Mr. Popular.

Marik: I don't need friends. I have brainwashed an army of Steves to do my bidding in order to defeat the Pharaoh and claim his power for my own. Also, I might kill him.

Bakura: You might kill him?! You mean you don't know?

Marik: Look, I never said my plan was well thought out; just that it was incredibly evil.

Bakura: Still seems like a rather important detail to just skim over like that.

Marik: Well excuuuuuse me, Princess! Your plan isn't much better, you know. What, you're going to wait 200 episodes just so you can give an eyeball to a guy and hope he flies to Egypt with it?

Bakura: It's all in the execution.

Marik: Well, if it were me, then I would use mind-control, like some sort of malevolent puppet-master or Jedi.

Bakura: Or maybe we could slice Yugi open with a machete, see if that works.

Marik: I have a better idea. We should totally hang out. With my evilness and your Britishness, we would be unstoppable! Why are you British anyways?

Bakura: I'm not British, I'm just gay.
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Joey: So let me get this strait, the ocean killed your dad, and then you married it?

Mako: That is correct.

Téa: And he wonders why we call him a Freaky Fish Guy?
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Bakura: I believe this is called "Thiefshipping".

Marik: You believe what is what?