Aticm and Korosu

Chapter 61

Please read this. If you are sensitive to triggering things or events please do not read this chapter. This is very touchy so if you sensitive to this content please don't read this. Thank you.

~Korosu~
To slender,
I apologize for this sudden change, but I really can't go on with my work. I'm sorry. I just mess things up. I'm a monster. Instead of killing somebody I love, I'm killing somebody I don't love. Allow Sasha to take over. Take care sir.
Sasha,
You were a wonderful friend. The best I've ever had. Thank you so much for everything you've done. Sorry to leave so sudden, but I think you expected this sooner or later. Have a wonderful life darling. Thanks for everything.
Surge,
I hope you know you're an ass sometimes, but you helped me when nobody would. Thank you. I hope you find somebody to settle with. You knew this was coming. Don't mourn over me. Be happy for me please.
AJ,
You were such a sweet person. Thank you for everything. Have a good life.
Bryson,
Great job with your studies and in my class. You're a great kid. I'm sorry to leave so soon, it was nice seeing you. Have a good life.
Eric and Marilyn,
You two are my pride and joy. Please get along through your life, okay? Please. It's the only thing I'm asking for. I'll miss you two so much. Watch over your father. I love you both so very much.
Ashton,
I know you tried to help. But you just can't help this. I love you so much. When I first met you I didn't think a person on this planet cared. I felt worthless. You helped me through that. But now it's back. I can't help this Ashton. I love you my dear. Watch over our children. I need you all to stay safe. If you think this has to do with you, I really doesn't. I just don't want to ruin your life. I love you so much. Have an amazing life my love.
To everyone-
My life has been great with you in it. Some people have made it worse, but I'm getting rid of them. I'm a pest on this planet, my life was a living hell hole before I died. Now I just can't escape myself. I'm a terrible person who deserves to die. I'm doing you all a favor. Have a great time without me. I hope my death brings you a sense of satisfaction.
Signed Yasmin Mary Anne Irwin
I set down my pen and shoved the paper under my pillow. Ashton woke up slowly as I sat staring at the ceiling. "Hey baby, morning." He smiled, hugging me. I sighed softly, trying to force myself to smile. "Morning." He pulled back and looked straight at me. "Is everything okay baby?"
I'm not going to be here much longer. May as well be honest. "I just feel like the worthless person I am. Are you okay?"
He hugged me again, speaking in a soft voice. "You're supposed to tell me when this happens so I can help you."
"I'm sorry baby. This isn't something you can help." I moved from the place I was sitting, getting up. "Please, let's just talk first okay?" He took my hand quickly. I shook my head automatically. "Just let me leave babe." I walked off, having already been dressed from earlier. My head was spinning the whole time, so I went to the only place I could think of.
I sat in front of the cement block, running my hand along the cool surface. I remembered feeling of life, and how dreadful it used to be. I just wanted a normal life. My parents wanted a normal child. Guess neither happened because of the other.
I felt somebody's hand on my shoulder. My mind stopped for a minute, thinking about my body laying in the ground, or what's left of it.
"This is where they put me. After she fixed her family. After I was finally gone."
His arms wrapped around me. "It's okay baby. They don't matter anymore. I love you."
{oh they matter. They told you the truth when nobody else would. Greg wanted a fit little girl. Mary wanted a beautiful daughter. You were the opposite of those.} I know. I know...
"They were right ash. They matter because they were fucking right." I snapped back, standing up. "I'm just a worthless piece of shit that nobody is going to give a fuck about when it dies. You should've hated me. It would've made this easier." I started walking off, but he pulled me back and kissed me. I hugged him, taking in the familiar scent that was Ashton. I pulled away after a minute, leaving him standing there. "W-where are you going Yasmin?"
"It doesn't matter. Don't follow me. Seriously." The first place I knew to go was my apartment.
~•~
My head was spinning as blood dropped onto the floor. The flask was across the room. I looked down at the concrete, feeling somebody pull me back away from the window. I tried going back but they wouldn't let me.
"Yasmin please."
Only one person calls me that.
I turned around, feeling his lips against mine. "I love you so much. Please."
"I love you. That's why I want you to shove me out that window."
I pointed directly to where I was sitting.
"No, I'm not going to do that. I could never hurt you." He was speaking sternly, the most he ever has.
"I can't ever do it right. Please Ashton. Just do it. It won't matter. Please."
He gripped my wrist, looking straight into my eyes.

"If you jump, I will too."

I shook my head. "No, Marilyn and Eric need you. I've only messed things up. When I was gone you were hurt and drunk. Please."
"If you die I'll be like that all the time. Please don't do this Yasmin." He kept his arms around me.
I felt all emotion drain from my heart.
"Ashton, let me go please. It's okay."
I waited until his grip loosened and walked to the window. He followed me, grabbing my arm again.
"Yasmin, at least think about our kids, please! There are other ways we can deal with this!" His voice was so desperate, eyes full of pain.
"Ashton, I've tried everything. It doesn't work. And besides, they'll be much better off without me."
I felt the cool wood beneath me.
He sat down beside me. "Don't you fucking do it Yasmin. If you go, I will too."
I shook my head. "They need you. They don't need me. It doesn't matter. When you're drunk and bleeding nothing matters anymore."
He wouldn't move.
"I'm sorry ash, they need you." I shoved him away from the window and back into the room, breaking the glass and pane with my elbow. I watched as they fell to the ground. I slid out to the edge slowly.
All I've ever wanted was to die. As I looked out the open window, I thought of each attempt.
I felt the knife plunge into my chest, but nothing happened. Blood pooled onto the ground. I pulled it out. More blood. But nothing happened. I didn't pass out. I didn't feel woozy. I just watched as blood spilled onto the ground. I asked why. No answer came to mind.
The rope was around my neck. The chair was below me. I kicked it out of the way. Nothing. I lay still, hoping I would die. Nothing. I asked why. No answer came to mind.
The bullet was already in the frontal lobe of my brain. Blood spilled from my forehead, covering the ground. Nothing else happened. I asked why. No answer came to mind.
I lay in bed, hoping the pills would kill me. Nothing happened. I asked why. No answer came to mind.
Maybe this time I'll get a fucking answer. I slid from the window, seeing ash try to catch me.
Mary Vogel fixed her family. Guess it's my turn.
~Ashton~
I sat down, feeling tears pour from my eyes. She actually did it.
I ran down the stairs, getting outside as fast as I could. Yasmin was on the concrete, blood on her face. I ran over and kneeled beside her. "Yasmin, stay awake please." I slid my hand beneath her head, her eyes looking straight up at me. I couldn't stop myself from sobbing. She tried speaking for a second but stopped. I immediately pulled out my phone. "I'm calling an ambulance." She put her hand on mine, shaking her head. "N-no, please..."
"Well what the fuck am I supposed to do? Watch you die?!" I waited until they picked up.
"Hello, emergency services, what is your emergency?"
"I need an ambulance." I told her the address and that she fell from the building.
"Okay, please stay on the phone with me."
I nodded, looking at Yasmin. I pulled the phone away, kissing her. She slightly kissed back, hair in her face. I softly brushed it away once I pulled back. Her eyes were extremely dull. "Please be okay..." I mumbled, holding onto her.
I can't believe this.
I didn't notice.
I tried forgetting about what I had seen.
But I shouldn't have.
I should've helped her.
Then this wouldn't have happened.
As the ambulance pulled up, I kept her hand in mine. When the paramedics started getting her inside, a woman turned to me. "Who are you to her?" "I'm her husband..." I said softly, sitting beside her in the ambulance. I sat by her as they pulled away, the concrete cracked and bloody where she fell.