Aticm and Korosu

Chapter 46

~korosu~
In short, this hurt like fuck. I was sitting next to Ashton, holding onto his hand, and he looked as pale as a sheet of paper. My lip might as well have been bleeding, it could have been. The contractions had gradually gotten closer together, and at some point Liz had come over. My mind was racing, thoughts blending together.
I'm actually doing this.
I don't know what to do.
What if I screw up?
Damn this hurts.
I'm going to be a parent, so is ash.
I held onto his hand, my skin glitching more than it usually does. He was talking with Liz, yet I didn't make out a lot. If you try to call me weak, that's not really the case. I'm not in terrible physical pain. This is mainly mental. Being a parent is one of the most daunting thoughts in my mind. If I end up like Mary, I don't know what I'll do.

"Has your water broken yet?"
"Yes, one of the coaches helped me at the school." Liz had been trying to get things set up, while ash was trying to stay calm. "How far apart are contractions?" Like I had a fucking clue. I guessed a bit, thinking less than ten minutes ago. "S-seven maybe?" As time went on, my anxiety grew.
What if something's wrong?
Can I even carry a child? I'm dead.
Will he be okay?
Every second brought a new image, my mind creating the worst things possible. As Ashton left to talk to the guys and Liz went to do something, Brian and Tim called. I hadn't talked with them for a while, hopefully this helps.
"Hello?"
"Korosu? It's hoodie, is everything okay? We heard you left work early." He spoke frantically, yet with a strong voice. I could hear Tim and slender talking in the back, small bits of conversation getting through.
"Why can't you tell me what's going on?"
"Tim, he is asking, calm down."
Just as another contraction started up, I answered in a shaky voice. "Yeah, everything's okay...I promise."
"You don't sound even close to okay. Is it Eric?" The arguing started up again, Brian trying to speak past them.
"Yes, it is." Even more arguing, then tim's voice coming through the phone.
"Korosu, when did it start? An hour ago?" I was a bit hesitant to tell him, yet answered in a clear voice.
"Three a.m."
"What the hell?! And you went to work anyways? Why the fuck would you..." I assume it was either slender or Brian that took the phone, yet I found out soon enough.
"Korosu, do you need help? Is Ashton there?"
"Yes slender, he's here, and so is Liz." I bit my lip, breathing deeply.
"Just breathe through the pain, and if you need any help, you know how to get a hold of me." I nodded, eyes glued to the ceiling. "Okay, thank you so much slender." "No problem korosu. I'm sure Tim would like to speak with you, so here he is." I waited a second, breathing deeply, until Tim's voice came through. "Korosu? You seriously waited this long to tell anybody? What the fuck?!" "Tim, calm down, alright?! I couldn't handle the daunting thought of doing this so I ignored it." He was getting irritable, speaking angrily. "You should have told Ashton, then you wouldn't have gone through all that you have!" "Tim, please stop this. Until you've been through my mind, don't try to fuck with me." He continued to argue against me, just irritating me even more. "Shut the hell up Tim, okay?!" I sounded a bit more harsh than intended, but who gives a fuck. He stayed silent for a while, eventually speaking. "I'm sorry, I'll leave you alone, bye korosu." "Tim wai-" he cut off the phone, leaving me mid sentence. Great. Another thing to add to the list of my screw ups.
Before I could even say anything, the contracting pain in my stomach got progressively worse. I could feel Eric straining against my stomach, kicking me a bit too hard. Ashton came back, sitting next to me.
It hasn't even been five minutes, and I'm already getting another one. Damnit.
"Just breathe honey." Liz spoke calmly, getting everything set up, while ash squeezed my hand. "It's okay, we're almost parents." I smiled, hiding my fear. Yes, I wanted to meet him. To finally see his face after waiting nine long months. Yet, I was scared.
Scared of hurting him.
Scared of something going wrong.
Scared that I can't carry a child.
Scared of being a parent.
Above all, scared that I will turn out like Mary, that I will snap and hurt him beyond repair.

"Ready?" I nodded, clutching ash's hand. Less than two minutes ago had I gotten a contraction, and another one was starting up.
"Okay, push."
I gripped his hand, pushing as much as I could. Goddamn did it hurt, yet something made it worse.
Blood.
Lots and lots of blood.
I tried to divert my mind from it, but the pool of blood on the towel made me freak out.
Since I died, bleeding doesn't stop easily.
It only gets worse.
"Come on baby, he's almost here." Ash smiled a bit, holding my hand. I pushed once again, biting my lip. The blood kept coming
And coming
And coming.
"Wait a second!" I stopped everything, eyes widening. "What's going on? I-is he okay?" Liz nodded, fixing something quickly. "Okay, now push." I did as she asked, gripping his hand. "Almost there baby. You're doing good." A small smile crept across my face, then faded.
Is he alive?
Could that blood be his as well?
My stomach moved and contracted, his small foot hitting the side of my abdomen. I grunted softly, doing as Liz stated.
"One final push!"
I pushed as hard as possible, giving my all, seeing Liz smiling. "Yasmin, ash, you are both parents." She held Eric in a towel, cutting the umbilical cord. I smiled softly, leaving back onto Ashton's chest.
Nine months later, I can finally see him.
Eight hours of labor and pain, all worth it.
Only one thing concerned me, other than the blood.

He wasn't crying.

Wasn't he supposed to cry?
"L-Liz.....is he okay? Isn't he supposed t-to cry?"
She nodded, looking down at him. Silence surrounded us all, until a feint cry pierced the air. I smiled, tears stinging my eyes. He's okay....he's really okay.
Ashton was crying, looking down at the little baby boy. I leaned against his chest, breathing heavily. Liz handed Eric to me, a light blue blanket wrapped around his tiny body. I held him close to my body, his heart beating softly. I felt warm tears running down my cheeks, his complexion similar to mine.
Eric Daniel Irwin.
Born November 8th at 11:17 a.m.
My stomach hurt, practically bleeding as much as possible, yet it didn't matter to me.
All that mattered was that Eric was here.
And alive.
Ashton was crying, and I was as well. This is one of the best days of my life, I wouldn't trade it for anything. Ever.