Stay. (A Niall Horan FanFiction)

Chapter 46

(The next few chapters are going to be written in point of views from Niall and Sarah's perspective. The songs for the chapter are:

Wrecking Ball - Miley Cyrus

I Can Barely Say - The Fray

Hundred - The Fray )

Sarah's POV

Did that actually just happen? Or am I dreaming? If I'm dreaming this is one fucked up nightmare, but this feels too real to be a dream. It hurts too much. My heart actually feels like it's just been torn from my chest and stomped on. I feel sick, almost like I'm going to throw up. I can't even breathe properly. My eyes sting from crying, but I can't seem to stop that; tears just keep falling. At least I stopped screaming. This hurts so much I began to scream. To be honest I'm surprised no ones called the cops yet. I could've swore I heard someone walk up to the door, but that was probably my neighbour walking by.

I've been hurt before, more times than I can count, but nothing like this. Nothing compares to this. Watching Niall leave was the most excruciating pain I've ever gone through. I remember dropping to the floor, and I haven't moved since. I'm not sure, but I think it's been an hour now. Maybe even close to an hour. I don't even think I can move.

I'm shaking. Mainly because I'm still in shock, also because this is what happens when I cry too hard. It's almost like an anxiety attack.

I think what hurts the most is waiting for him to come barging through the door saying he's sorry, or that he shouldn't have left. Nothing. Not a phone call, a text; nothing.

How could it have ended just like that? How could he do that? He didn't even have a second thought, he just left. That's also what's hurting so much. He just effortlessly left me here. No goodbye, no "I'm sorry I can't do this", he could've said anything and that would've made this hurt less. He didn't though.

That made me question out whole relationship. Someone who loves you wouldn't walk out on you. Wouldn't they? Someone who loves you doesn't accuse you of things you didn't do and make you feel like shit. But that doesn't make sense then. This was the first time Niall has said anything that awful. He was probably just so angry because I didn't go to the party and what topped it off was finding me here, alone, with Justin.

Why did he have to be so consumed with Justin? My relationship with him was the past. Niall kept trying to change that past, but you can't change the past. That must have drove him crazy. At the same time though, I never asked him to hate Justin or to have this fixation of getting him back for what he did. That was Niall's choice. I can understand not liking the ex, but this was different. I knew he would be mad after finding us together, that I could've dealt with. I'm going to be honest, I don't know how I'm going to deal with this. Him leaving. How do I deal with this anyway?

There was another part of me, the small part that wasn't hurt, was furious with him. More than furious actually. Why does he get to walk away probably feeling nothing and I'm stuck here on the floor crying hysterically praying for him to come back? Why didn't I say anything? I know I was too numb to say something, but I should've pushed until something did.

I'm so done with thinking about him. The more I do the more I cry and the more my chest heaves. The problem is, I can't. I can't stop replaying him not even hesitating to open that door.

"Ugh!" I grabbed a pillow from the couch behind me a whipped it at the door. It didn't reach the door, that made me reach for another one and throw that one too. It was closer, but it still didn't hit the door. I threw all the pillows on the couch and in the basket beside the couch. Eventually, I didn't even throw anything anymore. I got up from the couch and banged on the door.