The Outsiders: I've Made Mistakes

Chapter Two

I sat in the hospital room with monitors attached to me. I have a broken rib, broken nose and fractured shin. I have cuts and bruises that covered me. I was in bad condition. I was able to hear and see again since when I got here. I heard a soft nurses voice asking if I was awake. "Yeah. I'm awake." I say weakly. "Can your brothers and some police men come and see you?" She asked. I knew I would be questioned because I was there and I made it. I nodded. She nodded back and walked out. Soon, Darry and Soda came to my right side. "Oh God. Thank God you're okay." Soda cried. I smiled at him, then saw a man walk inside with one man by his side. The first man had a suit on him with a dark blue tie, he had blue cold eyes and a brown high and tight hair cut. He walked to my left with a note pad in hand. "So Ponyboy, correct?" He says, I nod. "I'm Lt. Joe Kenda. I'm here about your friend Johnny's murder." I tensed when he said that. "I'm here to ask you some questions." Kenda says. "Okay." I say, "your friend, did he have any enimes?" "Well, we're greasers to our enimes are the Socs. Thats who did it. The Socs" I tell him straight up. He nodded and wrote it down. "Johnny, tell me about him." "He's a quite kid, abused by his mom and dad but we took him in. He wasn't the one who would run his mouth a lot. Johnny... he was just a good kid, my best friend." He wrote as I spoke. "Do you have any idea of whom these socs were that did this?" "The one that beat my face in was a kid named Randy, and the other one who beat Johnny the most and probably killed him was a kid who wore some rings on his fingers, I believe his name was Bob. That wasn't the first time he did that to Johnny." I say. Kenda wrote it down than stood up, "Thank you Ponyboy. Thats all we needed." He stood up and walked out but before he left he looked at Darry and said "thank you for letting me question him." Then he walked out. I then looked over at my brothers. "So, how'd he die? Y'all know?" I asked, Soda sniffles, "he was strangled to death." He said looking down. I closed my eyes as I held back the visions and tears. Darry changed the subject, "So, how you holdin' up?" He said, "broken rib and nose and fractured shin is all. Doc says I'll be recovered in 6 weeks." I say, Darry smiled, gald I would be okay. Before I knew it, it was all over the news "teen boy found murdered in the street after a savage attack." The news reporter says, it switch over to Darrys interview. "I heard my younger brother screaming my name and when I got here I could see Pony crying and Johnny's dead body I didn't know what to think." "Who do you think did this?" "The Socs. No doubt. They did this, pony told me. He's going to the hospital now. Y'all need to look over at the Socs and see which ones did this to our best friend."

(5 weeks Later)

I was released from the hospital 2 weeks ago and I was sitting at the house watching Micky with Two-Bit. When Dally walked in, he shoulders down. Ever since Johnny's death he hasn't been the same. It seems like he just stopped his life. He quit doing all the things he was know for, he quit socializing with girls and people, Dal kinda like just blocked off the world he lived in and was trapped in sadness. I haven't seen him smile since then, Dally began drinking more. But that only seemed to make matters worse. He's been telling me about it, he's been telling me about his thoughts. When I was in the hospital he would come to talk to me because he could figure it out, he couldn't figure out if he wanted to live. Dal used to never cry in front of people he only smiled, now that's all we ever see, all we see is him cry. He could break that chain he drug that pulled him back from his life. He was just depressed all the time. Even at school he anit the same, after his classes instead of hanging out by girl he was just drag his feet and punch the locker because he wanted it all over.

He walked past all of us, he grabbed a beer and left. Not a single word was spoken.

Dally's POV*
I can't do this any more. I can't win this fight in my mind. I can't. I don't want to live. I can't... I opened the beer bottle, tossing the cap behind me. I wanted to kill those socs. Every one of them. But I couldn't. I just couldn't fucking do it. I drunk half the bottle before smashing it on the street below me. "Whats there to live for in my worthless life? Johnny, he was something that kept me going and now he gone." I say aloud to myself. I walked through the thin woods to the other rocky path way by the lake. I klend down at the rocky road. Shoving big and smalls rocks in all my pockets till they couldn't hold any more. I looked up at the moon that held up in the sky as I walked to the dock that held to the lake. I stood at the end of the dock, looking down into the black water that had every few ruffles. The moonlight glintened off the small ruffles. I just stood there. I knew I wasn't going back. There would be nothing there but sadness if I live. I'll escape from this hell, I'll be free. With that I jumped in. The rocks drove me to the bottom of the lake where I felt the sand under me. I looked up seeing what world I'm escaping from. I blow out all the air in my lungs. I watched the bubbles float to the top as I slowly drowned. I thought about all the messes I've made of my life and everything I thought I had to live for. That was all worthless now. I laid my back on he sand as my lungs screamed for air, I felt as my lungs were being ripped in half. But I didn't try to go to the top. I wanted to die. I'm gonna die tonight. Right now. I closed my eyes letting my lungs fill with water and I just drowned myself.

Pony's pov*
I woke up the next morning, seeing Two-Bit and Steve sleeping on the ground by the couch I slept on. But no Dally. Useally he would be here but I don't know. I could hear Darry making brekfest so I got up and crutched over to the table. "Hey pony." Darry said, stirring the eggs. "Hey." I say, reaching for an apple behind the beer when I saw a piece of paper on the table. By this time Two-Bit and steve we're awake and at the table. Soda was in the door way as I asked Darry "this yours?" He looked at it in confusion. "Nope." He says, I opened it. It was a note... it read

Dear Greasers,
I can't do this any more... I just can't. I'm drowning in my own emotions. My mind won't forget and won't let go of what happened. It just won't. I can't live like this any more. I can't suffer like that anymore. I only want it to disappear. that's all. I have nothing to live for anymore guys, I'm worthless. I mean just look at my life. I'm just another mess in this hell. Don't come looking for me. You won't find me alive.
- Dallas Winston