The Outsiders: I've Made Mistakes

Chapter Twenty

We pulled up to the station and they parked the car. I took a shaky breath. The police men opened the car while the other helped me out. One of them put their hand on my cuffs and the other on my back as the pushed my inside. I walked willing, the other cop opened the thick glass door that said 'Tusla Police department' on it. I can't imagine how many times Dally had seen this. I never thought I would. They pushed me inside, as I walked I looked around teary eyed. Me, still covered with blood on my shirt and face, didn't make a good first impression. I saw a couple of them just stop what they were doing and watch me. One even trailed off in his phone conversation. My eyes held helplessness but my appearance said I was a killer. They walked me through several doors before they got to their desanatited room. They sat me down and cuffed me to the chair. "Lt. Will be with you in a moment." He says. I just stared at the table. They walked out.

"Just kill me already I have nothing to lose." I whispered to myself. Only minutes later a heard the door open. But I didn't look over. The man sat infornt of me, he straighten his papers and set them down. "Whats your name kid?" He says. I reconsied the voice too well. It was Kenda. Again. "Ponyboy Curtis. Remember me?" I say looking up at him. Tears streaming down my face. He seemed to freeze. His eyes widened. "I'm back..." I cried with a small laugh. He snapped out of his trance. "My God..." he whispered. "Okay, well let's get this over with." He says. I nodded sadly.

"What to you know? What happened?"

"Well, me, my brother Darrel, and my friend Steve were heading to the store for some meds. All of a sudden a heard a car stop and I knew it was the Socs. Darrel told me to get behind him so I did. *tries not to cry* Then there was maybe like five not I saw a girl there. She had tight blue jeans. The Socs told us they wanted to get revenge on me, they wanted me dead. Steve took out his blade and told them they'll have to get through them to get to me. The girl kicked the blade out of his hand and that's how it started. Darrel told me to run so I did and hid behind a bush and all I could do was watch. *sobs as I speak* Th- Then they got them. They slit Steve's throat and then stabbed my brother. After the Socs ran I ran to Darrels body because he was still breathing. I was gonna call the ambulance sooner but Darrel told me not to. I don't know why! But he did! I cried as he died right in front of me. I screamed at myself and hugged his body getting this all over me. And accidentally some on my face. But I swear I didn't do it! *cries* I didn't do anything!"

"So you're trying to tell me your brother told you not to save him?"

"Yes. He knew he wouldn't make it. So he told me not to save him damnit!"

"Ponyboy, calm down. We're just asking some questions."

"Yeah just asking questions to throw me in jail." I mumble.

"Do you know who killed them?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"Like I said, the only one that stuck in my mind was the girl."

"The girl. Soc?"

"Yes."

He nodded. He looked into my broken sad eyes. "I'm so sorry." He says. I just nodded. He tells a officer to uncuff me and send me home. As we walked past everyone and got to the door kenda says, "you need us to call your parents to pick you up?" "Nope. They're dead too. I'm alone now. Lost everything today. This won't be the last time you see me. But it might be the last time I see you." I say before walking out. I walked down the streets as mermoires of the gang haunted my brain. All good times we've all had and bad ones but it was all worth it. I never knew those tikes would fade so fastly. I hurts to know that I can't make any more mermoires with them ever again.

I blinked the tears away, oh man, how much I miss all those goofballs is unbearable. It hurts my heart how much I miss them. I would see them again. Just not alive anymore. They're forever young but I have to live in with the pain on me. It would never heal. Its like a scar. It can nearly heal but it will always be there to bug you for the rest of your time. I walked in my house with my head down, I couldn't find anything to smile about. I really was all alone. I went and sat down at my table.

I put my head down with my hands on top of my head in stress. I needed someone to turn to but I didn't have no one anymore. No close family, no other friends I can go to. All the people I did trust are gone. They vanshied so quickly it's hard to keep up. I don't believe it some night, but that was when I had both Darry and Steve. I pounded my fist on the table as I cried my eyes out. "Everything is all my fault!" I cried out. "If I didn't fuck up no one would be dead!" I screamed as I got up and shoved the chair with so much force. "God damnit!" I yelled as I was thinking about everyone. My eyes burned and my throat hurt from all this sobbing I've been doing. I really don't want to live anymore. I don't want to live in this hell. I don't need to. I want it all gone and out of my mind so I don't have to think about them anymore. But, in reality it doesn't seem like I'll be able to do that.