The Outsiders: I've Made Mistakes

Chapter Eight

I knew Darry won't be happy about me leaving school but I have a reason to. I pushed open the school doors and ran. Not to my house but I ran to the cemetery so I can pour out all my trapped feelings that I can't tell Darry. I just ran and ran until I saw all three of their grave stones. I slowed down. There they were... Johnnys, Dallys, and Sodas in that order. I just started blawing like no tomorrow because if I'm being honest here, I felt like there was no tommorrow. I collapsed right next to Sodas grave and just cried. "Oh Soda!" I cried, "you were gone far too soon!" I say "Someone wake me from this nightmare!" I cry to myself. But I knew this was no nightmare. It was all to real. I was there when Soda got shot and Johnny got stranggled... I was there to see it all and never forget. I was the color of red every time. I saw blood on Johnny's face when I shook him to see if he was okay, I was blood where Soda got shot. I got up, seeing all three graves. With watery eyes "I'm so sorry guys." I say before going back home.

On my way home I saw Two-Bit walking, he seemed to be talking to someone but no one was there. I could see that look in his eyes from here. This just wasn't... this wasn't right. Two-Bits not himself anymore. I wanted to know if he was okay but I didn't want to go up to him, I... don't trust him. He could do anything in this state he's in. But I did anyway. I jogged over to him. "Two-bit!" I say, he stopped and looked my way. "Soda?" He says. My heart nearly shattered... he thought I was Soda. "No, it's me Ponyboy." I say causious of his actions. "Ponyboy?" He says, a unnerving look remain on him. "Yeah bud. Its me." I say. He got some odd reason hugged me. "I thought you were dead." He says. "No Two-Bit I'm here." He realsed and looked at me. "No.. no you're not.. " he says, I got scared then. I was confused and scared. "You're just like- no. You're just like them!" He says backing up. "Two-Bit what are you talking about?" I say trying to calm him down. "You're just- Ponyboy be honest with me." He says becoming calm. "Okay..." I say, scared to death. He walked over slowly and put his hand on my cheek. "Are you alive? Or am I really seeing things?" He says. My eyes widened, 'why on earth would he ask that?' I thought. I touched his arm. "Yes Two, I'm alive I'm not dead." I say. "Two?" I say, he looks up meeting eyes. "Are you seeing things?" I asked. He seem to stiffen. He looked around. "I can't say anything here. But tonight I'll be over." He says, I nod and he walks away. I just stood there for a second before walking away. I don't know what Two-Bits even saying but I'll find out eventually.

I opened the door to my house, Darry was already home, he got of early I suppose. He was reading the news paper when I came in. Once he heard me he slammed down the news paper. "Ponyboy Michael Curtis, why did I get a call from the school saying you left school after cussing out a teacher?!" He says. I took a deep breath, "Darry I have a good reason why I did it. Just listen to me. Please." I say biteing down tears. He nods. I only prayed he would believe me.
"After we got done with our work a kid asked to know more info about the shooting and the teacher knew good and well I was in her class. She didn't even ask if I needed to leave or get out of the class. She knew who the shooting was about and said nothing and agreed. So she kept reading the actrical and it seemed like she was taunting me. She even played the news interview and I ran out of class. I went on the hall way and she tried to act all innocent and I just lost it on her." I was crying at this point. "Then she called me a little shit. She told me I don't need to be a little shit since my brother got shot. I'm sorry Darry! I know youre not happy with me and I get it if you want to ground me you have every right to. But I did that cause no one talks about my brother like that. Espillaly if he's dead!" I started crying and I fell on my knees. I plead my case and I just wanted Darry to hug me and tell me it's okay and not yell at me and tell me im grounded. But I knew my chances of that happening. "I'm sorry..." I say, I mainly said that cause he didnt know I was cutting my self and that just haunted me. He had soft steps when he walked over to me. But my hands were on my eyes, I hate it when I lie to Darry but sometimes I have to. "Hey.. hey Ponyboy. Calm down. Everything's gonna be okay" he says. He sounded so much like Soda when he talked like that. His voice was so soft. "You gotta believe me Dar." I say, "Pony... hey. Look at me." He says softly. I looked up, sniffleing as I did. "Please don't be mad at me. I'm sorry." I say once more. "I'm not mad Ponyboy, baby don't cry. You had every reason to do that." He says, I tried to stop crying. I wiped my eyes with the sleeve of my hoodie, I looked in to his ice blue eyes. He wrapped his arms around me and I held him close to me. "I'm not gonna yell at you. I'm not mad, it'll be okay Ponyboy. It was a soild minute before I let go of him. He eyes held consurn and a sad look. "I do need to talk about one thing with you." He says. I didn't know what exactly but I had a good feeling what it could be. He grabbed my hand and walked me over to my room. He let go of my hand and pulled the covers back. "Whats this about?" He says pointing at the blood. I looked at it then looked at him.