The Outsiders: I've Made Mistakes

Chapter Nine

I chocked down my tears. "Uh... i- um..." I couldn't find word to tell my brother I was cutting myself. I was stuck just like I was with Soda. I bit my lip nervously and rolled up both sleeves. I turned my forearms so he could see what I've done to myself. One my self arm there was only a couple scabs and on my right arm it was fresh wounds. I was scared he was gonna yell at me for doing this to my self. He didn't say anything yet. He just looked then looked at me. "I'm sorry." I cry. I tried so hard to hold the tears back but it was almost impossible. "Pony... why?" He says, holding my hands with his thumbs nearly touching my cuts. "I can't live with all the things going inside my head. You don't understand Darry I was there. I was there both times!" I cried. "I know. I know. I don't know what's it's like. But I can't see you like this." He says. "Well we all don't want to see things but we can't avoid them." I'm not sure why I said that, it just came. It didn't phase him "come on, let get that wrapped." I nod.

He wrapped my arm in the bath room when I looked at him, "Darry?" "Yes?" "Don't tell Two-Bit. He's dealing with enough." Darry nodded. He finished by night fall and I pushed my sleeve down as I walked out I saw Two-Bit walking up the steps. I walked to the door. I opened the door and Two-Bit pulled me outside. "Whoa-" I say when he pulled me. "Ponyboy, you got to help me." He pantes. "What what is it Two-Bit." I say, "I can't. I'm seeing this- people- our people! I can see Johnny as if he was still alive and I can see all of them. My mind is a war zone Pony!" He says freaking out. "Whoa Two-Bit calm down." He pulled me down the road and stopped. I sat up agnist a car. "I can feel it, Sodas touch, like he's alive! I can see it the blood." "Hold on you can feel Sodas touch?" I say, I mean I saw the spirit of Johnny but I could feel anything real. "Yes! Like if I touch your chest that what it feels like when he does. Pony... I'm scared." He said, I could tell he was holding back tears from me. I wish he wouldn't I wanted him to trust me. He mustve trusted me enough to confess tell me he was scared. I hugged him, he held me tightly. "I'm going insane. I'm loseing my mind." He says. "Why would you say that?" I say, he let go of me. "I've done things. I can't seem to help myself anymore I'm drowning Ponyboy. Just like Dally did, only it's trapped in my mind. One I can't escape." "Two, everything's going to be okay, you have to believe me. You can fight this." He sighed, "I just don't get it." He looked at the ground and picked up a bottle. "What?" "If the socs can kill...." he broke the end of the bottle and put a sharp end to my throat. I took small breaths "then why can't I?" He says, his eyes held crazy. I gripped the car behind me. "Two-bit don't do this pl- please." I wanted to beg for my life, I'm so scared for my life. he had all the power to kill me and I could only hope and pray he wouldn't. "I mean they get everything. Why can't I just follow along. I just want to have fun like them..." he said, it felt like I was in a movie and he was the villain. I looked at him wide eyed, I didn't want to die from my own friend. He used to be a man you could trust. Now, he's insane to the core. "Two, please don't. Why do you want to do this?" I say hoping I can convince him out of this. 'Oh Darry please help me.' I thought. He looked to his Left. I don't know what he saw but he saw somthing. "Don't cry." He said not to me. He pulled the bottle away from my neck. "Soda please no ones gonna hurt him anymore." He said. "I-" he said like he was being cut off. I was right he is going crazy. so I turned and ran home. I ran like it was the last thing I could to do to live. When I saw Darry, he looked at me. "Whoa Ponyboy what's going on?" he says standing up. I ran into his arms holding back tears of fear. "Darry Something is wrong with Two-bit. He's not the same." I stammered. He lifted my head up to examine me. He glupped "D-did he pull a blade on you." "No but he broke a bottle and held it to my throat." I tell him. Steve looked at me. "He would never do that." Steve says. "I know! That's why I'm scared. I don't think he's right in the head anymore." I say, "when was he ever right in the head." Steve says. "No, not like that. I mean I think he's losing his mind." I say. It went quiet, "he told me he can feel when Soda touches him like he's still alive. He can see him alive when he's not. A-and I don't know what to do. He came to me for help. I-i don't know how to help him." I say. "What are we supposed to do now? Take him to the Doctor or what?" Steve says pushing his hair back. "We should. Just to be safe." Darry says. "When?" "Tomorrow maybe."