𝐴𝑆𝑇𝐸𝑅𝐼𝑆𝑀; bts os

pjm + jjk : jeremiad

summary: in which he has to let go.

genre: angst

word count: + 1.4k

jeremiad; (noun)
a long and mournful complaint, a list of woes.

inspired by "let her go", ©passenger.

this is not jikook

—

well you only need the light when it's burning low, only miss the sun when it starts to snow, only know you love her when you let her go

a deep sigh escaped the brunette's lips as he looked at the photo album in front of him. the page that was there to see showed a picture of him and her. "we look happy.", he sighed and flipped the page. this album was filled with countless moments that captured the past three years of his life. the life he spent with her. (y/n). now she was gone, thanks to a stupid mistake of his. even after one month of being alone, it felt like (y/n) was still present. her airy laugh when he hugged her, her fragile frame standing in the doorway, waiting for him. she haunted him.

only know you've been high when you're feeling low, only hate the road when you're missing home, only know you love her when you let her go, and you let her go

"hey, jimin, it has been some time.", he heard jungkooks voice, when the younger knocked on the door. "it's not good. i mean, you can't stay in your room forever. (y/n) wouldn't like that." "i don't want to talk about her. leave me alone.", he answered, turning his back towards the door. without (y/n), his life didn't make sense anymore. he missed her so much. he missed seeing her every day, listening to her voice, being able to hug her. it drove him insane.

staring at the bottom of your glass, hoping one day you'll make a dream last, but dreams come slow and they go so fast

the next one to knock at the door was hoseok. "come on jimin, it's of no use if you keep hiding in that small room of yours. we want to train, and you also need to practice. as horrible as it sounds, life is going on." "as if you know how this feels!", he yelled, anger taking over him. he knew for sure that he'd regret yelling at his friends sooner or later, but now he didn't care. all he wanted was (y/n). he let out a sigh and looked out of the window, into the sky over seoul. (y/n) was born in daegu, she never felt at home here in seoul. "i just don't feel at ease here.", that was what she once said. oh, how he missed her.

you see her when you close your eyes, maybe one day you'll understand why, everything you touch surely dies

"i know it's not good if i keep thinking about her.", he said to himself, but it was easier said than done. "i wonder what she's doing now.", again, his thoughts circled around her. did she look different now? was she already in love with someone else? did she still think of him? his mind was occupied with her entire being. (n/n) (y/n) was the girl he loved and yet he hurt her, resulting into her leaving him. never in his life before did he regret something as much as this. "i'm really sorry, (y/n).", jimin muttered.

but you only need the light when it's burning low, only miss the sun when it starts to snow, only know you love her when you let her go

"i should really stop.", he mumbled. after hours of thinking about the most different of things, he finally decided to get up, take a decent shower and leave his room to do something. he didn't know what yet, but he wanted to do something. even if it would be dancing to older songs. when he was finished getting dressed, he opened the door and walked into the hallway. feeling somewhat relieved, he walked into the kitchen, to see some of his friends sitting at the table.

staring at the ceiling in the dark, same old empty feeling in your heart, 'cos love comes slow and it goes so fast

"what?! you got up?!", a very surprised jung hoseok exclaimed loudly and called out for the other boys. "guys, guess what! park jimin got up!" everyone came into the kitchen, except jungkook. raising an eyebrow, he asked: "where's jungkook?" taehyung shrugged. "i've seen him leaving the house some time earlier. but i don't know where he might have gone." "what do you mean you don't know?!", jin said, his voice laced with worry. while the other guys kept babbling on about random things, jimin took a deep breath and sat on a chair.

well you see her when you fall asleep, but never to touch and never to keep, 'cos you loved her too much and you dived too deep

"you alright?", hoseok asked him and he nodded. "yeah, it feels just a bit weird to be here again." "you'll get used to it in no time, okay?", hoseok reassured him, and indeed, he was right. his friends did everything to help him to get over (y/n). they did know what happened, yet they didn't bring it up, for which he was really thankful. time passed by, and jimin rarely thought about (y/n) anymore. sure, sometimes she'd just randomly appear in his mind, but it didn't hurt that much.

well you only need the light when it's burning low, only miss the sun when it starts to snow, only know you love her when you let her go

everything was fine, except the fact that jungkook seemed to hide something. jimin didn't know if the other boys knew about it, but it made him suspicious. he had tried to talk to jungkook more than once, only for the younger to reject him with a kind smile and the excuse that he 'had to to something important'.

then, that fateful day came.

"hey guys, uhm...", jungkook began, making everyone quiet down and turn around to face the maknae. "yes?", nearly everyone said in unison. "i think i have something to confess.", jungkook stated, his dark eyes scanning the room. "the truth is, what i have been doing the past months is....i've seen someone who was very important to us, especially to someone." he looked at jimin who stood froze on his spot, not believing what he was just hearing. he had a very bad feeling about this, he gulped and spoke: "what do you mean?"

his eyes focused on a shadow moving behind the youngest. there she stood. (n/n) (y/n). the love of his life. her long, (h/c) hair cascading down her back, her (e/c) orbs staring into his, she looked frightened. in a matter of seconds, she stood next to jungkook, intertwining her hand with his, her eyes scanning the room nervously. silence. suddenly, jin said: "hello, (y/n). it's nice to see you here. i would have wished for the circumstances to be different." (y/n) nodded, and now, her angelic voice filled the room yet again; something he had longed to hear so long, but now, he didn't feel at ease.

"thank you for your kind words, i really appreciate them. it's also nice to see you guys again. i missed all of you." there was nothing such as hate or sadness in her voice. kind and loving as ever. he took a deep breath and made his way through the kitchen, stopping in front of her. from the corner of his eyes, he could see jungkook moving slightly, his eyes narrowing. "hey (y/n)."

"oh, hello jimin. how are you?", she smiled at him. being slightly taken aback, he cleared his throat. "listen, i'm really sorry for what i did to you. but, you're happy with our kookie now, right? i'm glad that you can smile." by now, (y/n) smiled even more and answered: "and i really appreciate your reaction. thank you for everything."

well you only need the light when it's burning low, only miss the sun when it starts to snow, only know you love her when you let her go

it hurt, yes, it hurt a lot. but, as jimin still loved (y/n) from the bottom of his heart, all he wished was for her to be happy. jungkook could give her happiness, and he was grateful for this. yes, he truly loved (y/n). and because he loved her so much, he needed to let her go.

and you let her go.

—

edited; 2017/10/03.

"soul meets soul on lovers' lips."
— percy bysshe shelley; prometheus unbound