𝐴𝑆𝑇𝐸𝑅𝐼𝑆𝑀; bts os

myg : apanthropinization

summary: in which understanding is all you need.

genre: angst, fluff

word count: + 1.6k

apanthropinization (noun); the resignation of human concerns, withdrawal from the world and it's problems.

requested by ?

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"come on, (y/n), you're no fair if you're leaving now!", (f/n) pouted and i shook my head, being the stubborn person i was. "i don't want to go, you can go there on your own. i'm not even interested in this kind of music!", i went on, crossing my arms in front of my chest. "for christ's sake, (y/n), this is bts we're talking about! they're famous as hell! and i'm sure that if you'd come to like their music some day, you'd definitely regret not going with me! and you like me!", she pouted. "right now, i hate you. i swear to god (f/n), i'll go with you, but please stop talking about it." upon hearing me agree, my best friend screamed "yes!" and jumped in the air, not being able to hide her happiness.

"okay, okay, okay, this is going to be so damn amazing!", (f/n) smiled and hugged me. "thank you for coming with me." "yeah yeah, and now please shut up.", i waved her off, which couldn't minder her happiness and fangirlish screams though.

—

"ugh. too many people.", i quietly muttered to myself as i looked at the crowd of girls lining up for that fan meeting. "what about if you just go there and i'm waiting for ya here?", i suggested, hoping i could get a coffee and just wait. "what, no! you have to join me!" "but i don't know them, neither their music! that makes no sense." (f/n) sighed. "okay, so ... i'm gonna talk to them and you're leaning against the wall and wait until i talked to each of them! what about this?", my best friend asked, leading to me agreeing.

holding my cup of coffee, i leant against the wall, my right hand buried in the pocket of my worn out jacket, ignoring the weird and judging stares i received. still, i took my time on observing the scenery in front of me, eyeing the boys and girls talking to them. soon enough, the hall became filler and fuller, and i felt the well known anxiety rising up inside of me, so i quickly typed a "getting too full in here, i'm waiting for you outside. sorry."

just as i intended to turn around leave already, i saw one of the boys sitting at the table stare at me, his dark orbs staring straight into mine. he had black hair, feline-like eyes and plump lips that looked a bit like he was pouting now. i bit my lip and turned around for good, making my way through the crowds of girls giving me judgmental stares, trying to even my breath and not suffer from a severe panic attack. you see, i had this illness called social anxiety disorder. standing in huge crowds or keeping in contact with too many people in general made me feel sick, i had panic attacks and struggled with breathing.

"ah, how much i hate my life now.", i quietly muttered to myself as i finally made my way out of the suffocating hall. i took a deep breath, sucking the cold and clear air into my lungs. soon after, i was leaning against the outer facade of the enormous hall, i received a text message from my friend saying: "where are u, hun? i'm sorry." i quickly typed the location and pressed send, and a mere minutes later, (f/n) ran towards, panting slightly, a sad and troubled look upon her features. "oh lord, (y/n), i am sorry! i mean, i knew about your disorder but i completely forgot that you're uncomfortable around people! i won't force you to go with me anywhere again!", she blabbered until i silenced her with a soft smile, saying: "it's fine, don't worry."