𝐴𝑆𝑇𝐸𝑅𝐼𝑆𝑀; bts os

myg : i need you

summary: in which he just wants to save her.

genre: angst

word count: + 1.6k

this is part 6 of the 'i need u' series.

warning: events some may find triggering.

—

tears welled up in my eyes as i looked at the little knife in my hand, the metal reflecting the bright light of the bathroom. "i can't anymore.", i whimpered. i had promised yoongi to stop, but what if it all gets worse? the people in my school talking about me when they think i don't hear them. that so-called friend of mine who was hurting me over and over again. i felt alone, even if i knew that i definitely wasn't. "yoongi will so hate me for this.", i mumbled, drawing the knife over my skin.

it hurt, so badly. tears streamed down my face, yet i continued to drive the knife over my arm, opening old cuts, creating new ones, a wild pattern drawn on my pale skin. it was ugly, yet fascinating. the blood was running down my arm, dark red, flooding between my fingers, dropping on the ground, painting it. i wondered if it would be over if i would do the final cut. i looked at my arm, where pale scars were overlapping each other, opened over and over again, or new ones covering them up. "i wonder why yoongi even likes me. i mean, that's ugly as fuck.", i said out loud.

taking a look at my watch, i knew that my parents would come home soon, bringing my little sister along with them. picking her up from a meeting with her friends. i got up, legs shaking a bit from the loss of blood. i quickly wrapped my arm in a clean, white bandage, hoping that it wouldn't soak that fast. after doing this, i cleaned the bathroom, erasing the proof of my mental breakdown. i opened the window, letting the fresh and cold air breeze into the small room, extinguish the last, salty and metallic smell of blood.

i walked into my room and changed into a comfy, black sweater, covering up my arms, leaving not even the slightest suspicion of scars. only a couple of minutes later, the door opened, i could hear the keys clinking when my father placed them into the bowl. "(y/n), we're home!", he called out and i walked downstairs, facing him. "hi." "did you eat something already?", my mother asked, her back facing me as she was busy with opening my sister's snow boots. "uh, no. i'm not really hungry...and..uh, i'll go for a walk, okay? i didn't get to have that much fresh air today. might stay at yoongi's place."

my mother nodded, knowing that there could be no place safer than at my boyfriend's house. i slid on a thick jacket and my favorite boots, opened the door and walked outside. the walk to yoongi's place didn't take long, as i was also a fast walker. soon i reached my destination, ringing the door bell. "wait a second!", i heard a deep voice from inside, until the door creaked open, allowing me to glance at my boyfriend. there he stood, his bright hair in a mess, wearing a plain white shirt and blue pants. "jagi?"

"uh, hey.", i mumbled, reaching out for him, literally asking for a hug. yoongi let out a soft sigh, embracing me. "did something happen?" "mmh, not really....i just missed you." he chuckled. "it's alright, i could have a break right now too. writing songs is so exhausting." noticing the bags under his eyes, i reached out, tracing my fingers over his skin gently. "you need more sleep, yoongi. i'm starting to worry over you.." he pouted slightly, and i let out a quiet squeal at my adorable boyfriend. "stop being so cute, it's not good for my hearteu!" "stop talking like hoseok! that's creepy!"

—

together, we laid on the sofa, wrapped in blankets, cuddling. yoongi had his arms wrapped around my waist, his warm breath ghosting over my neck. "you sure you're alright?", he asked once again, voice laced with worry. i could understand him, he had a girlfriend who used to cut herself, who wouldn't be worried over this? "yeah, i'm fine." he mumbled something i couldn't understand, so i turned around in his arms, facing him. his feline-like eyes scanned my face for any hints of me being a mess. i smiled, leant forward and pecked his lips, letting out a soft giggle afterwards.