𝐴𝑆𝑇𝐸𝑅𝐼𝑆𝑀; bts os

knj : i need you

summary: in which they need each other only.

genre: angst

word count: + 1.5k

this is part 4 of the 'i need u' series.

—

the sound of waves crashing against stones, the screeching of seagulls, the smell of salty water, all of this added up to the feeling of being on vacation, a feeling i loved so much. except that this wasn't vacation, no, this was my new home, far away from the country i was born in, the country my friends and loved ones lived in. i let out a soft sigh and closed the window of this small house near the beach, a house my parents bought some time ago. "just in case we need to move.", my mother had said, shrugging it off every time i asked her about it.

now, this case seemed to have arrived, as my father's boss told him to move to the very north of denmark, for the sake of some important businesses. i, who was used to korea's hot summers, froze my butt off over here, where the summer seemed to be so cold, making me curl up into my blankets. this was not what i planned for my future so far. living in a country, that was foreign from the top to the bottom, a different language, different landscape and the only korean people i knew where my parents, i didn't want that. i didn't want any of this, but as i was barely 17, and not of legal age, i needed to join my parents.

i missed korea so badly. not only the culture and the familiar sounds of my mother language, no, also my former school, my friends, and especially one guy. namjoon, said to be my best friend, yet i held deep feelings for him that made my heart clench. i wished i could be at his side now, sitting somewhere, drinking something and talking about god knows what.

suddenly, my mother's call interrupted my depressed thoughts about the life i used to live one week ago. "(y/n), please come downstairs, we're having some guests, you need to interpret!" i sighed sadly and got up, walking downstairs into the small living room. there my parents sat together with two other people, both men, who seemed to be part of a company, something having to do with business. i looked at my parents questioningly. "what is it?" my father told me to talk to them in english, which brought back another memory of mine.

i slightly shook my head and switched to english, managing the whole thing fluently. after the businessmen left, i walked into the kitchen to get something to drink. "are you alright?", my mother asked worriedly, standing in the doorway. "mh, yeah.", i mumbled, my back facing her. "(y/n), of course you're not okay, something is bothering you. please tell me about it."

i turned around, my eyes full of sadness. "of course something is not okay! i miss my home country so badly, i miss seeing my friends, talking to them! everything here is so foreing, i hate it!", i yelled, making her sigh sadly. "did you even ask me once if i wanted to leave?! sure, i'm 'only' 17, but nobody asked me how i felt about leaving korea! except namjoon, and guess what? we don't have contact anymore, he stopped calling me and answering my messages, it makes me sick, but i can't do anything about it!"

i bit my lip, trying to prevent myself from crying, to no avail. "i hate it so much.", i mumbled and ran past her, upstairs, into the room that was said to be mine. i laid on my bed, grabbed my phone and began to answer messages my friend (f/n) sent me earlier this day. always having the 7-hour time difference in the back of my head, i knew that i couldn't expect an answer before going to bed. as if in an automatic state, my fingers tipped on that certain chat with namjoon. my answer had been read, but not answered, and he was online.

i raised an eyebrow, it was in the middle of the night over there, what was he doing. suddenly, i remembered his "job". "i'm working at a gas station to earn some money.", he had said. well now that made sense. i wondered how namjoon was doing. was he fine. i let my mind wander back to that fateful day one week ago.

— (flashback)

"you want some?", i asked my best friend and offered him the bag of apple chips. namjoon made a disgusted face. "nah, i don't like these things." i pouted and hit his arm playfully, then continued to eat my beloved snacks. "say, when do you have to work today?" "from 11 pm to 4 am." i shook my head at my friend's relatively weird work times. "for real now, that's weird. and you're gonna sleep for the rest of the day then.", i stated, causing namjoon to chuckle. "i'm not yoongi, (y/n)."

"but you're his friend.", i pointed out, poking the older male's cheek. he laughed and ruffled my hair before getting up. offering me his hand, he said: "i'm gonna miss you though. when does your flight take off?" "at 10 pm." "okay, we still have a couple of hours before that. time to make some memories.", namjoon pulled me up and behind him towards the railway.

we ran around, took countless photos, talked about completely random things until i glanced at the watch and sighed, knowing that time was over. "you're walking me home?", i asked the blond haired male, who nodded. "as always, (y/n)." the sky darkened and the lights of seoul went on, alighting the sky like it was still daytime. very soon, i'd be sitting in a plane above, flying towards a future i was scared of.

"hey, (y/n), wake up, we're nearly here!", someone shook me and i, being pulled out of my daydream, flinched slightly. i blinked twice and already saw my parents standing next to our house, heaving countless bags and cases into the two cars. "i still can't believe we're really moving.", i mumbled, leaning closer to namjoon, who wrapped his arm around my waist. "what's happening to your house?", he asked. "i guess my parents will sell it to somebody. i mean, the location is very good, close to seoul's center but not in the midst of the city."

i sighed softly and said: "well, i guess it's time for a farewell now..trust me, i don't want to leave, but i'm still not of legal age. maybe we pay a visit due to family happenings or something like that.", looking down and shifting from one foot to the other, i couldn't help but feel embarrassed. "hey, (y/n), look at me.", namjoon suddenly said and i did as he said, looking into his hazel, nearly black eyes. "yes?"

all of a sudden, he leant down towards me, pressing a chaste yet soft kiss on my lips before grinning cheekily. "see it as a goodbye kiss, okay?", he chuckled and hugged me one last time. i leant into the hug, enjoying his warmth and the comfort he gave me. soon, way too soon, he pulled away and smiled sadly. "stay safe, (y/n). and call me when you've arrived, will you?" i nodded and watched him run off into the darkness, feeling cold and alone.

when i sat in the car, on my way to the airport, my mind wandered around the things that happened shortly before. the kiss, even if he meant it friendly, made my heart beat faster than ever. "well done, kim namjoon, now i feel better than ever—not.", i thought.

— (flashback ends)

the sound of my phone ringing woke me up. still half asleep, i answered the call with a sleepy "what?" "oh my god, (y/n), did i wake you up?!", my best friend yelled into the speaker, making me groan in pain. "don't yell, it's barely 5 am here.", i hissed and she apologized over and over again. "why did you call me even?"

"i have bad news for you, i really thought you deserve to know what happened. you sure know about that gas station namjoon works at? well, there was an explosion there last night, and at the same time, he is gone. since you left, he wasn't the same anymore, he started to smoke and became more aggressive. so, what i wanted to say is, there might be chance that he...that he didn't make it, as the place was completely burnt and it was his shift."

"(y/n), you there?"

i didn't answer, instead, i dropped the phone. it made no noise when it fell on the soft blanket. i sat there, staring into the dark. that was just a bad dream, right? he couldn't be....dead, that was silly. "i need to go to korea", i thought. and that as soon as possible.

i needed to make sure, that my loved one was still alive, that i didn't lose the one keeping me sane, the one who stole my kiss, the one i needed.

—

edited; 2017/10/27.

"grow old along with me! the best is yet to be."
— robert browning; rabbi ben ezra