Just as he came in contact with my lips, I managed to push him away, I stammered down the school hallway and to my locker, hearing his shoes thump closely behind me, "Tatiana! Wait" I turn around and stop him, "let's make this clear, I don't like you, I never will because you're such a jerk, don't let me ruin your stupid reputation" I shout, he stands there with a shocked look in his face, I turn around and run to reach my locker, I pull out my books and shoved them into my bag as fast as I could so I could get away from him, the notes from a day or two ago fell out of my locker, I stared at them, only to hear footsteps approaching, "dammit Mason go away" I shrieked, stuffing the notes in my bag. "Tatiana, please just let me explain" I stare at him in the eyes, he was crying, "alright I'm sorry, I shouldn't of done that, I know you and Aly-", "don't you dare say her name and leave me alone!" I shout, he grabs my hand, I stand still staring at him, "Tatiana, I get it you hate people like me, I get it! Okay I've just fallen for you, fallen so far and knowing you don't accept me, makes my heart break" I stare into his bloodshot eyes, he was crying? why would he, I'm nothing to him, he's saying all this crap and it may be true but to only use it to break my heart later, I know it, I just do. "don't . Touch. Me" I state yanking my arm away from him, I felt a tear shed from my left eye, I wipe it off before he could see, and swung my bag over my shoulder walking out the front gate, it was deserted, 4:03pm we were talking for an hour, well fighting, the scene kept replaying back and forth through my head, I started bawling my eyes out, I cried, mum wasn't going to pick me up today so I had to catch the bus home but instead I drove to Golwood cemetery, I always went to Alyssa whenever I was broken up, she never left my side, even when she was at peace. I run, my lungs filled with cold winter air, I reach her grave, man did I miss her, I stared at her gravestone, touching the indentation of every word carved in, "hey Alyssa, how you doing up there? I hope your doing good" I try to smile but it only lowers back down into a frown, "I'm sorry, so sorry, but I guess you can see what's happening down here right? well the person that made you, you know. Has fallen in love with me, I don't know what to do. I just don't. I don't like him but he likes me, I can't like him because you, he did it to you." I cried, I sat and laid against her gravestone, crawling up into a ball, I sat there for who knows how long, until I revive a text 4:26pm Cacey- hey wanna help me find an outfit for tonight? Abigail and Abril are being a-holes and not helping. I smile and know that although Alyssa was at rest I still had a bunch of buddies to hang around with. "Alright Lyss, I better get going, I have other people that are in need of desperate help, I love you." I said kissing my hand and putting it against her picture.
I walk back to the bus stop, there was another cemetery across the road, it had many people in it. That didn't surprise me I knew people died everyday and it always for a reason that's why the cemetery there was always packed with visitors. I spot someone standing beside a grave with my school uniform on, I squint my eyes, Mason. Why was he there, I watched him cry, my heart broke every time he did, I checked the time 4:33pm right two minutes, I see Mason stand up and look around, walking out he sees me, I tilt my head downwards so he couldn't recognise me, was he here for the same reason I was here? to talk to someone he once loved? I look up and see him look at me, those dazzling eyes, I look back down, where's the bus hurry hurry hurry.
On my way back him I couldn't stop thinking of who he came to see, what why did it bother me so much? I didn't even like him. Oh shoot better text Cacey, 4:39pm Tatiana- hey Cace, I'm on my way home, I'll call you as soon as I get back. i click my phone shut and slide it in my pocket. I felt a piece of paper, I pull it out and realise the handwriting, messy. Mason, I straighten the crinkles up and flip it open, Tatiana, look no one knows about how Alyssa died, and I'm not intent in telling them that I was the one who did it, the reveal will have to wait, and I'm truly so sorry for that, and for my stupid doings, if I knew she'd kill herself I wouldn't of done it, I promise you I wouldn't of. See I started liking you at the start of last year, you know when you won that award that you deserved so very much. congratulations. I got to know you through Abril, she talked to me sometimes but she didn't seem to like me either, but she'd bring you up once in a while through conversation, and through what I heard I fell in love, with you. Look I'm so so so sorry for what I've done, and I get if you don't forgive me I'll be okay I guess, but I can't live with this guilt in my stomach and body, God can't even erase it away, but I need I need you to at least, half forgive me. -Mason.
I stare blankly for a moment before the bus brakes, I scrunch the paper and put it back in my pocket, I tagged my card off the bus and walked down the pathway towards my house. I checked through the other pockets of my blazer and pulled out the second note, I open it and all it said was I hate myself for this, I'm sorry I shoved it in my pocket along with the other one, I felt the guilt build up in my stomach, was I really that cruel of a human person, I grab the keys out of my skirt pocket and slide it in the keyhole, I moved the keyhole clockwise and the door clicked open, I walk inside and lock the door behind me. I walk to my room and pull out my phone and click on Cacey's number in my recents.. after 3 rings she picks up "hey Tats! help me please please!" she pleaded, "alright calm down" I laugh, "you sound like you've been crying, what's wrong?" she said in a serious tone all of a sudden, "Mason tried to kiss me" I said, "hmm.. WHAT!" she yells through the phone, I pull the phone away from my ear due to the violent sound waves, "no big deal, now back to your outfit" I said, "wait no we are not done, did you kiss him though?" she asked, "did you think I kissed him?" I said, "well no," she replies, "wow great job you guessed it!" I sarcastically said, "alright so first date is always nice jeans with like platforms and a fancy top with cardigan or whatever" I said, "God your too good, I should always go to you for this stuff" she said, "yea but if you want colour tips go call Abril up, she's amazing at that stuff" I smile, "alright I'll call you back" "alright bye" I said, I clicked the end call button and throw my phone onto the bed, I walk into the kitchen to find something to eat, "oh an apple will do" I murmur to myself while grabbing one from the fruit basket, my phone rings, I groan and sped walk to my room, I picked up, "hey Tats!" Cace yells, I pull the phone away once again, "stop yelling your gonna make me deaf" I complained, "oh sorry" she said but this time lowered her voice, "Okay so I got the perfect outfit!" I could tell she was smiling jubilantly, "well what time is he coming?" I asked, I heard crackling noises and then her voice "HE'S HERE, HERE AT MY HOUSE", "oh my god yay! alright go have fun, tell me everything when you get home!" I said. She hangs up without a reply, I sigh, I guess she's just too excited. buzz
5:16pm Abril- hey can I talk to you about you know him?
5:16pm Tatiana- yea sure, what is it?
5:17pm Abril - I'm just really confused..
5:18pm Tatiana- well you gotta be a bit more specific than that, how confused?
5:18pm Abril - like I don't know if I like him, but I like him.
5:19pm Tatiana - oh don't worry about it, he's a good one he'll like you somehow.
5:19pm Abril - I guess so.
5:20pm Tatiana - oh before I forget something happened today and I need to talk to you about it, in person, sorry I gtg now shower. x
5:21pm - alright cya x
YOU ARE READING
One day I Will.
Genç KurguShe thought love was nothing, specially in high school, until the school heartthrob Mason showed her, but a story like this doesn't end on a good note, not when you're with Mason.
