Bad Boy, Good Boy (boyxboy)

10 - bad red flags

Chapter 10 – Bad red flags

We walk in the yard, passing the tree where Sam was rebelling earlier, and it has been quiet for at least three minutes, which is too long if you're desperately waiting for the other person to speak. It's like when you're thirteen, sitting at the computer, waiting for your grandparents to show up and shower you with birthday gifts. But the clock just keeps moving slower and slower and time never reaches two. So, to distract yourself, you play computer games, hoping you'll lose track of time.

That's not the case now, because I don't have a computer here. And I try counting sheep, but this has never worked for me. It's boring. Why count sheep when you can create scenarios in your head?

"So, Lucky Luke," he starts and I grimace.

"Don't-" I say, shaking my head. "Don't call me that, please."

He lifts his eyebrows. "Okay? Sorry."

I nod. "I'm not proud of that name," I say. "It doesn't help that Marcus came up with it."

He stops and sighs. "Why-" he says. "Why do the cool ones always have a screwed up past."

It's not even a question. I don't blame him. At least he called me cool. I think he likes me. And if it's not in the way I would like him to, I don't care, because baby steps, and also, I'm going to make him like me. Because I'm that cool.

"I could make up for it by offering you a cigarette," I say. "But I left them at home." I wait for his response, scared he might stop pretending to like me, because he'll tell me now that he was ever only interested in the cigarettes, and not in me.

He chuckles. "Thank god," he breathes. "I don't have to pretend, then."

I frown. "Pretend what?"

"That I like your brand," he replies, glancing at me sideways.

I can't help but laugh too. "Adorable." We keep walking until we reach a bench and he takes a seat. I'm not sure I should sit down and close the distance between us. I'm not sure what I should do. I wasn't planning on talking to him like that. My guard is down because of what happened. He saved me from getting punched. I should give him a trophy, but I don't have any, sadly. I could kiss him, but then he'd run away, and I don't want that.

It's just a very sad situation, and I didn't bring any tissues for tears.

"So you went to Chester." he changes the subject even though I've already told him. Meanwhile I'm still weighing my options, and I'm leaning towards running away instead of sitting next to him. But eventually my brain shuts down enough that my heart takes control and I do sit next to him. And I regret it immediately.

My left foot keeps shaking, because I'm nervous. Immediately I bring my thumb to my lips and think of chewing the skin raw, but- Instead I grab the end of the bench with both hands, so I wouldn't.

"Yes." I look at him without moving my head. Build your guard up, I say to myself. Don't lose it.

"Is that why you come there? Because of memories," he continues asking question like he's interrogating me, and I hope he'll be the good cop till the end. But I already told him I got kicked out. I already warned him that I was bad.

"Everything about that place is bad," I mumble staring into the darkness illuminated by moonlight. The water is amazing. The water is inviting. And I think I need my midnight swim now. But I can't just make a run for it. "Except the old field. That's my special place."