New Dawn

M u d

Waking up from a night of heart aching confusion, the sobbing had made me feel groggy. I didn't feel rested, I only felt empty and alone. For the first time in a long time, I hated that my parents had gone away for the weekend. It was days like these that made me feel my age – seven. All I wanted were Mom and Father. My mom always knew what to say when I cried, she held me and rocked me and made all the bad thoughts go away.

My phone buzzed, pulling me out of my self-pity. Flipping onto my side, I rubbed my swollen eyes, picked up my phone off the nightstand and unplugged it from the charger. Sitting up, I leaned against my headboard. There were six missed calls, four voicemails, and eight texts. Most of them were from Jacob, which made me flush with hope but angry at the same time – it was a confusing emotion.

Unlocking my phone, I looked at my texts, they were all from Jacob.

Where r u. Come back

Ness. Plz. I'm so sorry

Let me explain. I'm coming over

Im here.

R u gonna let me in

Please...

Ill sleep out here tonight

Dont hate me. Let me explain everything.

You are my best friend. I can't lose u

I sighed, not understanding all the feelings rushing through me. He had lied to me for the first time. What right did he have to take my first kiss like that? My thoughts frowned at me, he was the only man I had ever wanted to kiss me. Over the last year, I had grown attracted to him physically and began to notice his beauty but I controlled myself. I only looked about sixteen years old and my parents still saw me as a child. Wanting to start a relationship would only cause drama. Consciously, I chose to bury my growing feelings for him but, after that kiss, I didn't know what I was feeling.

At an attempt to distract myself, I listened to my voicemails. After I plugged in my password, my mom's voice came from the speaker phone, "Hey Renesmee. This is your mother. Your father and I are leaving as scheduled for our camping weekend in Oregon. I'm very disappointed that you left without letting us know, we will talk about that later. Please call and fill us in."

The second voicemail was from Jacob. "Ness," pain was thick in his voice, "please come back. We need to talk. I'm so sorry. Just. . .Please. . ."

My heart ached as his voice returned in the third message, "Ness. Please. I can't take this. Don't shut me out. I'm here when you're ready."

The final message played and it was from my mom, "Call me," her tone was sharp and I could tell she was very upset with me.

Quickly, I called my mom back. She answered after only one ring.

"What happened? Are you okay? Do we need to come back?"

Taking a deep breath, I steadied my voice, "Hey mom. Sorry I didn't call you back sooner. I was tired."

"Rose called and said you were crying all last night. What happened? Did Jacob do something to you?"

"No," I lied, not wanting my parents mad at Jacob, it was my problem and involving them would only make matters worse. "There was just a misunderstanding last night and I missed you. That's all but I'm better now. I have plans to go dirt biking with the guys today and you'll be back soon. Don't worry about me, it's just all these hormones." As I spoke, guilt washed through me – I was a hypocrite.