I don't know where to start. So much happened. It was all a blur.
A month after Lana's birthday Jake and I where driving to a vacation spot. But we took our own vehicles.
The road was slippery and a semi jack knifed taking out Jakes car. I had stopped and ran to his car only to be blown backwards by the explosion from the car. I cried on the muddy ground for what seemed like hours till the semi driver hobbled out holding his head and cradling his arm.
"Miss what happened?" He asked concerned kneeling next to me.
"He's gone." I sobbed. He looked at the car that was on fire. I heard fire trucks and police sirens behind me.
"Who?"
"Jake. My husband. He's gone." I whimpered.
"I am so sorry this happened. I lost control."
"No one has control over anything." I loud sob ripped from my throat as I watched them out the flames out. I felt arms pick me up and stand me I my feet.
"Ma'm do you know who was in the car?" I looked to see a police officer. I was soaked but I didn't care.
"My husband." The officer hugged me tight while the driver was taken to an ambulance.
"What was his name?" He asked.
"Jake Toranzo Austin." I sobbed. The pain I felt was more than I have ever felt physically. It was enough to make me end it right then and there. But I didn't. I knew he wouldn't have wanted me to.
I sobbed till I could physically produce no more.
I was currently at the police station. I had been there for four hours because I couldn't go to the spot and I couldn't bare to go home. I was also there because I had to fill out paper work of some sort I forgot what they told me it was for. I had my head between my knees my hands clasped behind my head pulling it down. I closed my eyes and imagined I was anywhere else than where I was.
But no matter how much I tried I couldn't. I knew the other officers where pitying me. But I didn't want it I wanted Jake to wrap his arms around me.
Who knew that the kiss this mourning was our last.
I couldn't even fall asleep. That's when an idea struck me. I got up and walked to the front desk.
"Excuse me but is there a twenty four hour gym around here?" The officer looked up from her computer.
"Yes miss if you go done to the corner and turn left and go straight it'll be on your right." She instructed pointing. I nodded and walked out to my car.
I hopped in and drove to the location. I walked to my trunk and went through my bag and picked out my work-out out fits. I picked up my shoes and walked into the building.
I paid the fee at the desk and went to the locker room. I changed and walked back out I put my phone on repeat of towards the sunrise by Rihanna and got on the treadmill. I walked at first till I was in a dead run. I shut off the physical pain but couldn't turn of the emotional pain.
I ran so hard I thought I was going to break the treadmill. I felt a couple people watching me. I didn't care if that I ran faster. I was crying but I ran. When I looked at the time I saw that it was now four in the mourning. I've been running for two hours straight not once getting a drink of water. I stopped and did so. I then went to the weights and picked out a 250 set and started pressing. I lost count of how many I did. But I didn't stop.
When I did I found gloves and went to a boxing bag. I hit and hit. Taking out my frustration everything I had. Until some one walked up to me and tapped my shoulder. I took my head phones and looked at the woman. She looked at me sadly and handed me a water bottle and towel.
"I'm sorry for your lose." I looked at her confused but took the gesture. "Who was it?" She asked.
"My husband." I sad shutting my eyes. When I was done whipping myself off she hugged me. Even though we where both sweaty from working out I hugged her back. I cried softly on her shoulder till she pulled back and gave a small smile. She whipped my eyes before going behind the bag and holding it. I put my phone down and got back into position. I punch and couple times.
"What was his name?" She asked holding the bag in place from my strong furiated swings.
"Jake." I said hitting with all I was made of at this point.
"Did you have any children?" She asked.
"No I was never able to have any. Nor will I be able to." I grunted.
"I'm sorry. What happened?" I took a deep breath.
"Car accident last night." She nodded and stepped out behind me. She took me by my bi-sieps.
"You can stay at my house tonight. I will care for you till you are able to go back." She offered a small smile. I nodded.
"Thank you."
"Now let's stretch its never a good idea not end your kind of work out with out one." I nodded and started stretching with her. I left my clothes on and grabbed my things and walked to me car and followed her. After I got out of the hospital I had bought myself a GT.
We stopped out side a rather small yet cute house. I grabbed my bag of clothes and essentials and walked into the house behind her. We where greeted by a Great Dane and a blue healer.
"The shower is in there and the guest room is right next to it." She instructed I nodded and went into the bathroom.
I took my shower and got dressed in yoga pants and an over sized shirt that I realized was Jakes. I calmed myself so I wouldn't cry and took my things into the room she told me about. There was a queen sized bed and a dresser. A small desk in front of the bed. I walked back out to see that she had taken a shower in her bathroom. And was sitting on the couch flipping through channels.
"Here let me brush your hair." I nodded and sat on the floor in front of her.
"I'm not tender headed." I informed. I handed her my brush and just let this stranger who I didn't even knows name detangle my hair.
"Andrea. Andrea Myers." She said as if reading my mind.
"Emilee Deblasio Austin." I mumbled.
"Mouth full. But I think I know who you are. I smiled slightly. "You are an actress that plays on the show Once Upon A Time." She informed.
"Yes I am." I said looking at the pictures on her mantle. There was two men. On greatly older than the other.
"My son and late husband died in Iraq. I moved here from Oklahoma because I couldn't stay where's had made memories. I visit frequently but if I lived in the same house I wouldn't be able to leave or get up in the mourning." I closed my eyes.
"What where there names?" I asked softly.
"Keleb my son. And my husband Brookes." That's when I opened my eyes and looked at the picture of two men them at where identical. Twins. I felt her French braid my long hair. "Don't worry Emilee. He's with you. Where's your mother?" And for the first time I hadn't called Lana immediately.
"I- I don't want to call her." She finished my braid which dropped down to just below the middle of my back.
"I always wanted a daughter." She mumbled. I stood and hugged her.
"Do you have any melatonin? I don't think I'll sleep." She nodded and went to the kitchen and came back with a bottle of some. She handed me two and a glass of water.
I then went to the bedroom and laid down not long after pulling the covers over me falling asleep.
