apathy (sequel to fervor)

1 | ѕᴇᴇιɴɢ вʟυᴇ.

1 | ѕᴇᴇιɴɢ вʟυᴇ.

I could hear her crying all the way down the hall. She's been so upset ever since she's gotten the news, each day, I can see her withdraw from herself, more and more.

Mom was hurting.

I couldn't imagine what she must be going through, Dad said that she won't even talk to him. "Maybe you should go check on her, she needs you too," he told me.

My heart ached for her. I hated to see her this way. She was usually all smiled, and now, she shows any emotions, but I can see the sadness in her eyes.

"Mama, you up?" I asked quietly, not earning an answer from her. I came into the room, climbing on the bed to lay next to her. "Mama please talk to me," I sighed, rubbing her arm.

She sniffed, and looked over her shoulder at me. "Hey baby.."

She turned over to me, and I got comfortable, laying on my side to nuzzle into her. She was always warm, and I loved that about her; no matter how unhappy she was, she always felt warm.

"Why did my Prince pay me this special visit?" She asked me, playing with my short curls. I hugged her closer, nuzzling into her neck, and she chuckled. "You've got your father's grip, baby..that's good."

I kissed her cheek, "I just wanted to be by you, Ma. You don't smile now, I just wanted to make sure that you were okay.."

Ma rubbed my back, sighing. "I miss my little Princess.."

If I could, I'd somehow transform into Monae, to make her happy. But since that's impossible, I just laid with her.

"Ma, why don't we watch some tv? It'll be like the old days where I'd lay my head in your lap and you'd play with my hair."

"Ramiro, that was yesterday," she shook her head, caressing my face. I looked down, a smile poking at my lips. Mom hugged me, kissing my forehead. "Will you be alright?" I asked.

I couldn't stand to see my mother so upset. She was the one who gave birth to me, who changed all my diapers and took care of my injuries. Yes, I was a serious Mama's boy. She nodded in response to my question, and I smiled.

"You're so sweet, my Prince. Just like your father."

"I love you," I kissed her cheek.

"I love you too, sweetie. You hungry?"

Just then, my stomach growled. "I'll take that as a yes."

We left the bedroom, Mom walking ahead of me to the kitchen. Dad was getting some juice, and he smiled as he saw us come in. "There you go again, following her like a lost puppy," he laughed.

"Hush, he's hungry."

"He's practically a grown man! How come he doesn't have to make his food, but I do?"

Mom got some things out of the pantry, placing them on the counter. "Because, he's my Prince."

"See, your momma said you would still be babying him. He's going on 18, and looks like he's about 24, why can't he make his own food?"

Ma pulled me close to her, and I wrapped my arms around her waist. "Because, he's my little man."

I grinned at Dad, "Don't be jealous."

He simply grumbled and placed the juice back in the fridge, going to sit down on the couch. He was watching the game, the Saints versus the Falcons. I knew he was only watching it to keep his mind off of Monae. He missed her, and I did too. Everyone was in such bad spirits, including Charles.

"What do you want to eat, Miro?" Mom asked me, snapping me back into reality.

"Mac and cheese," I nodded, lifting myself up on the counter.

I watched Ma as she made me my dinner, and I decided to help her. I crushed the bread crumbs up, and sprinkled them over the macaroni. Mom set the oven, and I put it inside, closing the oven door.

"I'll tell you when it's ready, honey, in the mean time, why don't you go see if Charles needs you for something?"

I nodded, and left the kitchen, going to find Charles. He was in Monae's room, changing her sheets, and changing them again. He couldn't stop cleaning her room from top to bottom, left to right. I knocked on the door, "Hey Charles."

He didn't look at me, and readjusted Monae's pillows. "Hello, Master Ramiro. Miss Aaliyah needs me?"

I shook my head, entering the room. "Nah, I was just wondering if you wanted to teach me today?"

He looked at me, and stood up. Charles had become like a regular part of our family, he had his own room, everything.

"Not today, Master Ramiro."

I sighed, "Is it because of Monae?"

He fluffed her pillow, and shook her head. "I'm sure Miss Monae is safe."

I nodded.

"Then why do I feel so..empty? I could've saved her.."

"There wasn't nothing you could do. Yes, you could've watched your mouth, but Monae is sensitive, this wasn't the first time you've hurt her feelings."

I turned around, Dad standing behind me. He scratched his chin through his stubble, looking down at me. Dad entered the room, and Charles left out, closing the door behind himself. I watched Dad as he walked over to one of Monae's baby pink shelves, picking up a photo of us.

"She probably hates me.."

He shook his head, cracking a smile. "Trust me, if she's anything like your mother, she doesn't hate you. Like I said, Monae's sensitive. You couldn't save her from that van. There was nothing you could do, Ramiro. But you can hope that she's safe."

"Do you have any idea who could've kidnapped her?"

Dad placed the photo back down, looking at me. He looked a bit sad, and the look his eyes assured me that it was true. Monae was his everything.

He rubbed his face, his eyes focused intently on me.

"I've gained a lot of enemies over the years, Ramiro. It could be anybody.."

"Do you have a guess?"

"No," he answered, looking down.

"Dad-"

"And not knowing is what terrifies me."