apathy (sequel to fervor)

З | ѕυѕpecтѕ.

З | ѕυѕpecтѕ.

I woke up, sweaty. My shirt was covered in my sweat, and my sheets were too. I pushed the covers aside, swinging my feet to the side. I stood up, and opened my bedroom door, creeping down the hallway.

I crept toward Mom and Dad's room, the door slightly open. Dad was gone, probably off somewhere with Charles. I entered the room, and climbed into bed with her. "Ma," I whispered, poking her. She turned over to me, sitting up.

"What are you doing here, pumpkin?"

"I can't sleep."

She laid back down, kissing my forehead. "So you wanna sleep with Mommy? Just like old times?"

I nodded.

I was way bigger than her, but I still loved to snuggle with her. I nuzzled into her, and she twisted my short curls. She pulled the covers over us more, and made sure that I was warm.

It was silent between us, and I didn't mind. We didn't have to speak. I had a bond with her that no one could top.

"Where's Dad?" I asked, closing my eyes.

"Looking for Monae..he's heartbroken," she told me, "he thinks sitting out in the rain, stalking the spot where it happened is going to bring her back.."

I sighed.

Soon, I could hear Mom's soft snores. I kissed her forehead, wiggling from under her. I got up out of the bed, and left the room, heading past Monae's room. Usually, I check in on her. If she wasn't sleep, Monae and I would talk about things that were bothering us. By that time, we'd be so tired that we would've passed out from lack of sleep. There was one time, when we were kids, that I played Barbie dolls with her, up until sunrise.

I sighed, and continued on walking past her empty room.

Monae was right, I did treat her like a little girl. I couldn't bring myself to get over that she was becoming a grown woman..I just didn't want to see it so soon. In my eyes, she was still that little girl, looking to me to tell her about what she would experience. And I fucked it up.

Now that she's gone, I'm forced to think about the harsh reality in front of her. Anything could happen to her; she does have the looks of a grown woman. Whoever had her could torture her, and rape her, and I didn't want to think of my sister going through that pain.

I walked down the dimly lit hallway, and to the front door. It was raining heavily, and I could see someone standing in our yard. I opened the door, and stepped out onto the porch, going down to the ground.

"Dad?" I questioned.

"Is that the van?" I heard him ask, lowly. He wasn't wearing anything to cover himself from the rain, and his shirt was soaked, sticking to his body. He tucked his hands in his sweats, staring at the van owned by our neighbor across the street.

I didn't answer, and he looked at me.

"Is that the van?" He repeated.

Once again, I didn't answer.

Before I knew it, he was across the street, smashing the windows in. "I want my daughter!" He screamed, kicking the van. I darted across the street, trying into to pull him away. "Dad, stop!" I yelled. He continued to punch the side, breaking the side mirror.

The van's alarm sounded, and the neighbor came out of the house, pushing my Dad off of his van. He balled up his fists, and I could see that he was getting visibly angrier by the second.

Dad pulled the poor man by his shirt, and raised his fist.

"Don't you hurt him, Romelo!"

I turned around, seeing Mom standing there. Dad let the man go, and he ran back into his house. I had a feeling that somebody had already called the police.

Mom came over to him, and caressed his face. She whispered something to him, and Dad had burst into tears. Mom allowed him to cry into her neck, and I felt sad for him.

I could tell that he felt weak, defenseless.

"Look at me, Romelo.."

I bit my lip, watching my mother try to console him. He looked at her, and she wiped his tears. "Let me get you inside. I'll take care of this, okay?"

I followed them inside, and she made him go sit on the couch. She pulled me aside, and wiped the rain off of my face. "I..I think we need to get the search for Monae underway," she nodded. She took something out of the drawer, and handed it to me. "This is your uncle's number."

"Lorenzo?" I asked, quietly.

She nodded.

"What am I supposed to do?"

"I've called him to meet up with you. He might knew a person or two that might've kidnapped Monae. But that doesn't mean that you don't cross Lorenzo off the list, either."

I nodded.

"If he's going to meet him, I'm going as well."

Dad towered over Mom, and she looked up at him. "Promise me that you'll behave?"

Dad's lips spread into a grin, and he nodded.

Mom kissed my forehead, and I hugged her. "Go onto bed, sweetie."

I went down the hallway, passing Monae's room, and went back to bed.

The next morning I waited for Dad to get ready. Charles was going along with us, just for extra protection. I was watching tv, eating cereal. I was on my second bowl, and I was almost finished with it.

"You want some more cereal, Miro?"

I nodded. "Yes, Mommy."

I heard the sound of her pouring me another bowl of cereal, and she handed it to me, handing me my empty bowl. "You all ready for today?" She asked.

"Mhm," I nodded, "Dad told me to follow him and to keep cool." I placed the bowl on the table, turning to look at her. "Is Uncle Lorenzo really Dad's twin?"

She nodded. "They only thing that sets them apart is the eyes. But you'll see."

I didn't believe that for a second, but I guess I had to see it for my own eyes. "Aye, little nigga, you ready?"

"Don't call him that, Romelo."

I stood up, examining Dad. He looked me over, and smiled. "Intimidation. You got that, Miro. Make sure you keep that."

I nodded.

Dad kissed Mom on the lips, and I hugged her, receiving a kiss on the forehead.

"You guys be safe, okay?"

I nodded, and Dad grinned.

"You ain't got to worry, baby." Dad told her.

"You said the same thing and came home with a broken nose and a cracked rib. Don't you get my baby hurt, okay?"

Dad put his hands up, chcukling. "I won't."

Mom's serious expression didn't hange.

"If he's hurt, you ain't coming in this house."