apathy (sequel to fervor)

Ձ૩ | ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴘʀᴇsᴇɴᴛs..

Ձ૩ | ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴘʀᴇsᴇɴᴛs..

 Monae,

How do you expect me not to worry? Someone's watching you and my unborn child? Why the fuck would somone send you an eye and a tongue? That's fucking sick. Do you want me to get someone to find out who it was? I can do that. They won't be bothering you again. I don't want you to have any stress, okay? This pregnancy is supposed to go smoothly. I'm feeling tired, so I'm going to rest..write me back ASAP.

  Love, Dante

I was eating my late night snack. This time, I was laying in bed, with a bowl of ice cream. I made Daddy make a trip, as Ramiro wouldn't do it because he was too lazy and tired. Daddy also bought me a nice warm blanket, as it has ben getting colder by the day. It was red, and had a flower pattern on it. Scooping another spoonful of mint cookies and cream into my mouth, I felt the babay wiggle around. He really enjooyed the flavr, and wouldn't stop moving and kicking. 

I found it adorable how Dante was so worried about me, and the baby. I've decided to search up some names and rite them don so I could have a few to choose from. The little one way helping, as I would say the name out loud, and he wouldn't kick if he didn't like it. So far, I had, Roman, King, Dorian, Elijah, Amir, and Marcus. I also had Calvin, Cairo, Andre, and Mason. The baby wasn't helping anymore, I think he went to sleep on me. 

I decided to go ahead and write Dante back. I need to gooo tot he store and get another folder, as the one I've been putting Dante's letters in is almost about full. I would ask Daddy to go ahead and get it, in the morning. Maybe I should go with him, this time. I haven't been outside in a while, and fresh air would be good for me. My phone vibrated on the charger, and I pulled it off the cord. Looking at the screen, I had a text from Brandon. He was bored, and wanted to know if he could come over. I looked at the time, and it was going on 1:30. 

I eased out of bed, waddling over to the door. Opening the door, Daddy was walking past, with a bag of chips. "Daddy!" I smiled at him. "Hey, baby girl," he smiled, "what do you want?"  I pouted at his question, "Why do you think I always want something?"

He rolled his eyes, "Because, you're your Mama's child. You two always want something."

A smile poked at my lips, and I giggled. "Can Brandon come over? He's bored.."

Dad gave me a blank stare. "Y'all better not be fucking." 

My mouth dropped opened, and I crossed my arms. "Daddy! Ramiro said the same thing! How could I even do that?" Dad's lips spread into a smile, "It's possible. Very possible." 

"Daddy! That's nasty!"

He shrugged, that goofy smile still on his face. "Still, I better not hear no headboards." 

I texted Brandon back, and waited for him to come. The doorbell rang about ten minutes later, and beore I could get to the door, Daddy zoomed past me, nearly knocking me over. He had a bat in his hand, and made me stand off to the side. He opened the door, and I peeked around him. "Hi Brandon," I smiled. He smiled at me, but Dad got his attention. "Hey, Brandon," Dad smiled.

"H-Hi Mr. August.."

It wasn't hard to tell that Brandon was terrified of Dad, I mean..who wouldn't? First of all, one of his eyes doesn't look like the other. Then he has all thee tattoos..Daddy looks like a half bling gang-banger, which is what he used to be. I see no reason why the girls at my school have such big crushes on him. He's weird. End of story. 

"What's wrong? Do I scare you?" Dad asked, chuckling.

I pushed him aside, pulling Brandon inside. I closed the door behind him, giving Daddy a death stare. He rolled his eyes, and I took Brandon to my room. He sat on my bed, pulling my laptop onto his lap. "You still haven't chosen a name?" He questioned, clicking things on my screen. I shook my head, sighing. "I just..nothing sticks out to me, y'know?"

He shrugged, "Did you ask for help already?"

"I went to that website for help." 

Brandon sighed, "Maybe you should name him after me." I looked at him, smiling, "Maybe." For some strange reason, I felt like something was wrong with Brandon. He wasn't his usual happy, excited mood. He seeme like he was in deep thought about something, and that it was making him sad, or upset. "Brandon," I called to hm. He looked at me, his eyebrows raised. "Yeah?" 

I sat down next to him on the bed, taking the laptop out of his hands. He placed his hand on my stomach, rubbing in small circles. I took his other hand into mine, getting his attention. "Is something wrong, Brandon?" I asked. He locked eyes with me, sighing. He shook his head, and I squeezed his hand. "Come on, you can tell me.."

His lips pressed against mine, his warm hand caressing my face. His lips were soft, warm, and they felt so right..but oh so wrong. He pulled away, departing from the small kiss, and his cheeks turned red. I bit my lip, and he held his hands in his lap. "I'm sorry..I just..I'm sorry." 

I didn't say anything for a while, trying to get over the tingling sensation on my lips. I had no idea what to say..and the air was dead silent between us. Why did he kiss me? I didn't know what to think, and before I knew it, I could feel my cheeks getting hot. He placed his hand on my thigh, and we locked eyes. 

"I know..you still have feelings for that Dante guy..but I feel like we can be something more. I don't know why..but can I help you with the baby when he's born?" Brandon asked, his eyes wide with hope. I bit my lip once more, "Brandon.." Once again, I had no idea what to say. Thoughts ran through my head, and for the first time in my life, I was conflicted. 

I couldn't hide it any longer. I did have a small crush for Brandon, but I would swear up and down that my heart belonged to Dante. But..Brandon was here, and Dante wasn't. It was hard to have a long distance relatonship. I know Dante loved me..he said it, and wrote it almost every chance he got. It wasn't a secret that Brandon and I have grown closer, I mean, he over here almost everyday..he's even here now! 

He took my hand, and I hadn't realized that I had tears in my eyes until he wiped them away. 

"I'm not trying to make you decide..but just keep me in mind..please?"

I didn' say anything as he left my room, and I couldn't move until I knew for sure that he was gone. I had burst into tears, crying into my hands. I heard my door open, and I didn't bother looking up at who it was. I didn't care. I just wanted to cry. 

"Aw..Princess.."

Hearing Mom's soothing voice, she hugged me. I cried into her stomach, and she stroked my hair lovingly. I felt her kiss the top of my head, and she sighed. 

"If it makes you feel any better..I went through the exact same thing." 

I looked up at her, and she wiped my face with her thumbs. She sat down next to me, rubbing my shoulder. I leaned on her shoulder, sniffing. "I never told your father this, but when he kidnapped me, I was in love with another man. Heck, I was going to marry this boy..but after being with your father for a few months..I had to decide. It's obvious as to who I chose, but that decision was hard."

I looked at her, sniffing. "Do you regret your decision?"

She shook her head, smiling. "Nope. I wouldn't have such a beautiful family. But baby, follow your heart. If it tells you to go for Brandon, go for him..but if it tells you Dante, you go for him."