apathy (sequel to fervor)

૩૦ | ᴄʀᴀᴢᴇᴅ.

૩૦ | ᴄʀᴀᴢᴇᴅ.

"How the fuck could you leave Monae here, Charles!" Dad screamed at him, trying to lunge at him. I held him back, my hands holding on tightly to his wrists. "Are you fucking kidding me?! You know that she was getting those fucking letters from that sick motherfucker, why would you leave her?! Now she's fucking gone!" Dad was fuming, the veins in his neck bulging out. "Dad calm down, relax!" I yelled.

Everyone looked at Dad in horror. No one had ever seen him like this. Mom looked absolutely terrified of him, as did Diana. When we had rescued Monae a year ago, Dad didn't want to let her out of his sight. He vowed that he wouldn't let her get kidnapped again, and here we are again. Charles kept apologizing, his hands in his gray-white hair. "Sorry doesn't fucking cut it! My little girl is gone again!"

Dad's arms seemed to go limp, and he dropped to his knees, beginning to cry into his hands. His body shook from his sobs, and all of us were silent, watching him. Mom didn't even move, but she began to cry to, crying into Diana's shoulder. The tension in the room was high, no one speaking. I don't even think some of us were breathing.

"Daddy?"

Looking towards the hallway, Cayla stood there, rubbing her eyes. She must've been woken up from all of Dad's yelling. Dad looked up, and at Cayla. She walked towards him, and hugged him. "Why you cry?" She asked. Dad sighed, "I miss your sister, Princess.."

Cayla tugged on his hand, getting him to stand up. She pulled him out of the room, Dad sniffling as he walked down the hallway with her. I sighed, "Are you fucking serious..she's gone, again?" I picked up the letter on the table, reading it over again. Diana and I were the first to find out that she was gone, and the letter told us everything that we needed to know.

Monae's mine, now.
This isn't about what Romelo owes me, nor does it have anything to deal with Ramiro, or Lorenzo. I simply saw something I wanted, and that happened to be Monae.

She's my property, now.
   - M.

This was the letter that caused Dad to go on a rampage. I hope he's alright..Mom used to tell me how Dad would get so mad sometimes that he did brash things. He even went into a drinking binge, once. I sighed, looking at Mom and Diana. I approached them, and pulled Mom into my arms, rubbing her back as she cried into my chest. "I hope my baby girl is alright.." She sniffed. I hugged her, nodding.

"I'm sorry, Mommy."

She sniffed once more, looking up at me. "I'm going to go check on your father.." I nodded, and let her go. I sighed, and Diana took my hand. She kissed my lips softly, and hugged me. "We'll find your sister, baby.."

I really hope that this is true..Monae might not come back this time. If Dante was crazy about her, who knows how insane M is about Monae?

I looked towards Lorenzo, and he coughed. He was leaning on the wall, and hadn't said a word at all.

"I think I might have a lead on who this..M is."

Over the next week, Jose had become...a friend. I realized what was so off about Jose. Jose was a little on the slow side, and I've had to explain a few things to him. It was sad how Martin treated him, like he was some joke. Jose didn't express most of his feelings about it, but it was easy to see that he didn't like it. I mean, who would?

He cut off his own brother's tongue, and cut out his eye to send to me. Martin was beyond sick, it didn't take a professional to see it though. Martin really scares me, sometimes. He's always watching me..I can feel his eyes on me at all times. I have no idea how Jose tolerates Martin, but Martin is creepy. Sometimes at night, I swear he's watching me..hovering right above me. Then I open my eyes, and he's not there. 

Jose moved Amir's crib into my room, but Martin didn't like it. So Jose moved it back, and I heard Martin yelling at him for it later on. I had sympathy for Jose, and I showed it to him every chance I got. Jose needed help sometimes, and I was there to help. I could tell that Martin didn't like it, though. Jose dropped a glass bowl, and the contents of it spilled everywhere, along with the many shards of glass. He was going to walk right into it, but I pulled him back. "You have to clean up this mess first," I gave him a soft smile, taking a sponge and some paper towels. 

I got on my knees, beginning to clean up the mess. I got most of the red juice off the tile with the sponge, and with the help of the paper towels, I got the rest of it up. Jose threw away the paper towels for me, and I let Jose sweep up the glass pieces. "See, all clean!" I rubbed Jose's back, to which he smiled at me. Looking up, Martin was standing there, watching us. 

"You treat him like he's dumb. He's a grown ass man."

I bit my lip, "He just needs a little help, that's all.." I felt so little talking to Martin. He frowned, "He don't need no fucking help." I looked down, and Martin turned on his heel, leaving the room. Jose made me look at him, and he began writing on his board.

Don't worry about him. He just doesn't like people helping me. I don't mind it, though. 

I nodded, and Jose smiled. 

Later that night, I tossed and turned in bed. I couldn't sleep, no matter how hard I tried. I simply laid there, staring out at the dark, night sky. One of the good things about being here is that I can see the stars clearly. They twinkle, and the moon provides some soft light. On nights like these, back home, I would read Amir to sleep. I wondered what type of effect this situation would have on Amir, I didn't want him to end having anger problems like Ramiro. 

"You motherfucking bitch!"

My door slammed open, Martin entered my room. He didn't have a shirt on, and he looked pissed. I scrambled to the headboard, but he pulled my arm roughly, making me fall out of the bed. I tried to get up and run out of the room, but he pulled me back by my hair, wrapping it around his fist. He slammed the door, and I screamed. I flailed my arms, pushing against his chest as he pinned my arms above my head, staring down at me. 

"Keep struggling, you can't stop me."

I screamed louder, but no one came. "P-Please! I-I'm so-sorry!" He simply smiled at me, and I began to cry. I felt him push up my dress, and pull my panties from me. I tried getting my wrists loose, but he only tightened his grip. I was a screaming and crying mess, and his free hand opened my legs up, and I knew it was over from there.

I felt like a piece of shit.

I cried for everyone, Ramiro, Daddy, Dante- I knew that they weren't coming, but it hurt that much. 

When he was finished, he let my wrists go, kissing my cheek. It didn't take rocket science to know that I was bleeding, I simply rolled over, crying hard. I wrapped my arms around myself, not bothering to move. He only laughed at my pain.

"Now clean yourself up," he spat, throwing my panties at me, and leaving me there.