I Wouldn't Mind

Chapter 16

"And you come to me on a summer breeze, 

Keep me warm in your love and then softly leave, 

And it's me you need to show 

How deep is your love" 

Nandito ako ngayon sa home office ni Dad. Daddy's sleeping on his black leather sofa while his Bee Gees playlist was playing. 

"I really need to learn, 

Cause we're living in a world of fools, 

Breaking us down" 

I miss this song, I used to sing this song with Daddy. Natatandaan ko pa nung mahilig pa kaming kumanta sa Wow! Magic Sing. Kung tutuusin mas close kami ni Daddy kaysa kay Mommy, I trusted my Dad so much. He had promised me a happy family, I depended on him and trusted him that he won't do anything wrong to break his promise.  But then, I realized, na sinasabi niya lang pala lahat ng iyon para ma-comfort ako. 

Promises, sometimes, are meant to broken. Masakit na lang isipin na mangangako ka sa isang tao na ayaw mong nakikitang nasasaktan. Ni wala man lang kasiguraduhan kung matutupad mo ang pangako mo. 

I have to stop this mess, more so, clean it. Pagod na akong makipagpatintero sa Kuya ko at sa tatay ko, pagod na akong makipag taguan kay Melissa, pagod na akong umiyak. 

Ayoko nang makasakit.......

Lumapit na ako kay Daddy, nanginginig ang tuhod ko. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ito nanginginig, I suddenly remembered David's weary face. He was trying to help, but I pushed him away. I... I have been too harsh on him. But I have to settle things with my family first, before anything else.

Mahalaga si David para sa akin at natatakot ako na baka may mawala na naman sa akin... o di kaya tuluyan na siyang nawala sa akin?

"Everyone gets tired Gaby.......I'm tired"

"Hanga ako sa Daddy mo dahil natitiis ka niya"   

"Daddy......." i felt tears forming around the corners of my eyes. 

He has always been there for me. 

Naramdaman ni Daddy ang presensya ko, I saw the worry in his face when he saw me crying in front of him. 

"Honey.... what's wrong?"  he asked.

Agad ko itong niyakap at tuluyan na nga akong umiyak sa kanya. "Everything Daddy...." 

Daddy hugged me back, "Gaby, do you want to talk now?" 

I nodded, but I was still hugging Daddy, right now I'm resting my head on his chest. It's been years since the last time I've felt comfortable with my Dad. 

"I'm sorry for breaking my promise Gaby, I know I promised you a complete and happy family. That time, takot na takot ka na maghiwalay kami ng mommy mo kasi narinig mo kaming nag-aaway. Pero since that day, hindi na talaga kami nagkakaintindihan ng mommy mo.  Sinabi ko iyon para ma-comfort ka... I'm sorry kasi alam kong umasa ka talaga sa mga sinabi ko nuon...." 

"Daddy, I just want to know..... did you...... at least tried to....fulfill your promise?" I asked. This time I was closing my eyes, and my ears were only for Dad's voice. I was ready to listen to him, to open my heart to him. 

"I did! I loved your mom since I laid my eyes on her! Pero, after a few years after you were born.... your mommy's having a mid-life crisis. I guess being my housewife was not what she really wanted to do in life. We loved each other, totoo yun. But love was not enough, at siguro, it wasn't the right love.