Bromance One-Shots [Closed]

22. Narry: I'm Not Happy But I'm Fine

Prompt: He's not happy, hasn't been for a while actually. But he's fine.

This has self harm and some intense sexual scenes so yeah, read with care. (:

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"Harry are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine. Just want to be alone."

Harry got up from where he was sitting with Niall in the lobby of the hotel the band was staying at and headed towards the elevator.

"I'm here if you need to talk!" Niall calls after him.

"I'm fine." He repeats. I'm not happy, but I'm fine.

It's not a lie, Harry is fine. So what if he doesn't smile as much, so what if he doesn't join in group activities unless he's required to, who cares if he cries himself to sleep every night, if he has self caused scars littering his wrists. He is fine. Not happy. But fine.

Niall's just worried, he knows there's something Harry's hiding, he knows that Harry isn't Harry and he can tell that while Harry says he's fine, every time they're together, he's faking and Niall knows because on the rare occasion that Harry will crack a smile it never reaches his eyes.

Harry used to be happy, and he knows that whatever he has now is something close to if not depression and he hates it because he can see every single person around him having fun, being happy without a care in the world and he wants that too. But he can't have it, he doesn't deserve it. Not after what he's been put through. Not since that man violated him.

And when he passes Liam in the corridor on the way to his room and Liam asks, "Hey mate, you alright?"

Harry wipes the stray tears from his face and nods. "I'm fine." I'm not happy, but I'm fine.

He should never have gotten so uncontrollably wasted that night, he should never have let that man 'show him his new car' because as soon as they were out of that club, it was too late for Harry to run.

Had Harry have been a little more sober, he would have told that man No. No he did not want to see his 'new car' he would have walked away to find one of the boys.

And when he reaches the penthouse suite the boys are sharing, and crashes into Louis as he's walking out the door and asks. "Whoa are you okay love?"

Harry stops picking at the scabs on his arm and looks up replying, "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? I think your arm's bleeding."

"It's nothing, I banged it. I'm fine." I'm not happy but I'm fine.

And maybe if Harry wasn't so drunk he'd have realized that there was no car parked three streets over, in the shady part of town. And maybe if the man hadn't pressed a gun to the side of his head he'd have run.

But unfortunately he was thrown harshly to the ground where the man came to sit atop of him, tracing his jawline with the tip of his gun muttering about how beautiful he looked in the moonlight.

He'd have screamed for attention had it not been for the bandanna tied in his mouth, muffling his screams and desperate pleas for help, turning them into a hysterical mess of incoherent noise.

So when he walks passed the kitchen and Zayn looks up from what he's doing and asks, "Harry what's happened? Are you alright?"

He silences his desperate whimpers and replies. "I'm fine." I'm not happy, but I'm fine.

And maybe if the man wasn't so heavy he'd have been able to get him off. Maybe if Harry wasn't so damn helpless and drunk he'd have been able to over power the man, fighting him off and running away to freedom where he'd be shaken, but he'd be happy as soon as he knew he was safe instead of it being the other way around.

Maybe if his hands hadn't been tied together behind his back with some dirty rope found on the side of the road, he'd have been able to prevent the man from taking his pants off him.

And as the razorblade touched his skin for the first time that evening the memories came flooding back.

"Mmm, you're just to damn sexy for your own good." He purred, gently sliding his hand up Harry's now bare thigh, all the way up to the top of his boxers.

The tears were pouring from his eyes as she struggled, screaming into the gag and trying so damn hard to wriggle his hands out of the rope.

His screams grew louder as he felt his boxers being pulled from his body, throwing away the last bit of dignity he still had. "Ugh, such a big boy."

Harry's breaths were short a jagged as the pulled the blade away, a new cut to join the rest, it wasn't deep enough to kill him, but it was bleeding, as he chanted to himself.

"It's just your memories, they can't hurt you any more, he can't hurt you any more."

"Are you ready baby? I'm going to make you feel better than you ever have before."

And Harry was screaming and pleading louder that ever until he felt the cold tip of the gun press to the middle of his forehead, yet he still refused to open his eyes. "Shh baby, I know you're excited but you have to be quiet." But then his voice hardened, "So shut it or I wont hesitate to shoot you!"

Harry began to wonder if being shot through the head would be better than what he knew was about to come. He was silent though, breathing heavily through his nose as he waited for something to happen.

Harry let out a broken scream as he cut the next line.

"It's just your memories, they can't hurt you any more, he can't hurt you any more."

A cold, rough hand gently stroked his wet face. Harry didn't know how this man could possibly want to have his way with him, he probably looked a mess. His face would have been soaked from all of his tears, and with his hands tied behind his back he had no way of wiping the snot from his nose.

"Here we go, the exciting part."

And Harry felt the man's member lining up with his hole and he shrieked and screamed and then it happened, the moment he had been dreading.

Harry would never be the same.

The third cut was made and Harry didn't realize he was yelling a screaming for real until the door flew open and he was no longer on his floor, he was wrapped up in Niall's strong arms as said boy whispered comforting words while applying pressure to the three cuts lined up neatly in a row, the most recent of many on Harry's wrist.

"N-Niall..."

"Yeah sweetie it's me, it's okay, you're okay now."

Niall was unsure as to why Harry was screaming, but he knew that the boy was broken and he just needed comfort. So Niall didn't ask questions, he just rocked Harry in his arms, his hands and clothes covered in the younger's blood, but that didn't matter because at least the bleeding had finally stopped.

"I-I'm not fine." Harry whispered.

"I know sweetie I know, but I'm going to help you, I'm going to fix you..."

Niall pressed a soft kiss to Harry's forehead.

"...I promise."

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HAPPY GUY FAWKES!!! (If you celebrate it...)