Discretion | Josh Dun

29| Before We Begin

☼ Phoebe

I took the lingering sent of maple syrup and pancake batter as we laid together on the couch. Josh held me tightly in his large arms and I've never felt more at home than I did now, thinking about how in this moment everything was perfect once again.  I could feel him stirring beneath me, we had been laying lovingly like this for a while now, I'm surprised Alex hadn't kicked us out yet.  Our brief moment of peace was rudely interrupted by the phone vibrating loudly in my back pocket, I checked the name after I struggled to wiggle it out from between me and Josh.  I went to say hello anxiously, but was cut off by my mothers angry words.

"Why haven't you come to get your shit yet?" Her tone, even through the phone, was like knives against my skin. "I was very specific about getting all of this shit sorted out yesterday."

"Wait mom hold on, what are you talking about?" I sat up a little, Josh placed a hand on my thigh comfortingly. "I have no idea what-"

"You're not welcome back home anymore. I made it very clear to Alex to tell you that I wanted you out by today." She scolded me, raising her voice in anger.

Tears burned at the back of my eyes, "Wh-why are you kicking me out? I've done nothing! You can't just do that."

"Done nothing? Did you forget how you were walking around like you owned the place? Leaving without our permission? Talking back?"

just as the words spilled through her mouth, I instantly regretted everything I did yesterday, "Yes, yes I know-"

"If you want to act like you are adult enough to govern yourself, you can do it outside of this house. You're not our responsibility anymore. So hurry over, your crap is cluttering my lawn."

"Mom-"

"You have an hour or I'm donating all of it." She said decidedly as the dial tone rung through my ears.

       I dropped my new phone back onto the couch and turned back into Josh's warm embrace. "Phoebe, baby, talk to me." He tried to pry open my hands so he could see my reddening face and the tears that were threatening to fall. "I'm here."

Pushing myself away from the crook of his neck, I finally loosened my grip on my face enough for him to see my glassy eyes, he pulled me back into his arms, making feel safer than before. "I have nowhere to go." I squeaked out. "T-they kicked me out." I said in disbelief and stood suddenly as I began pacing the room. "I need to be there in under an hour or she's going to give away everything I own."

"Babe, just calm down." Josh tried to coax me as he stood and rubbed my back, unsure of what to do. "We can go get your things."

"B-but I still have no where to sleep or be safe or-" I continued to panicked on.

"You know you can always stay with me." He smiled reassuringly for a second. "-or Tyler." he added quickly, looking to the ground in slight embarrassment. "Not that I wouldn't be happy to have you, or that I would have you at all, I'm not trying to suggest anything if you do stay-"

"Josh I get it, thank you." I chuckled to stop his rambling and returned to the couch. "You really wouldn't mind?" I look up to him, uncertainty washing over me as I looked into his coffee colored eyes.

"Never." Josh pulled me into him and kissed me softly on the nose. "Come on," He quickly pulled on the dark t-shirt he had on last night. "I'll take you to get your stuff." He smiled and held onto my waist as he lead me out and into his car.

       For most of the drive I was nibbling on the skin around my thumb, so many things were running through my mind: I had no money, I had no job, no car, no nothing.  I knew this wasn't entirely true, for I had Josh and he was more than willing to help me and I was beyond thankful for him.  I looked over to him, his focus was on the road and his lips looked ever so pink, his jaw clenched to stifle a laugh when he caught me staring.