pathetic |/ ON HOLD

t w e l v e

iris |/ pov

i finished zipping up my suitcase just as there was a harsh knock on the door. i wandered through my house to where the sound came from, pulling the slab of wood toward me to reveal tyler.

"you ready to go?" you could tell he was excited to be moving on as he got to play more shows.

"i'm as ready as i'll ever be" i walked away from the door and back into my room to grab my bags. "how's josh been?" i muttered, looking over my shoulder. as much as i hate him at the moment, i still care for him.

"he's, um, quiet? i know the normal josh is in there somewhere but he's a bit more reserved at the moment" tyler answered. i knew he wanted to say more, because he cares about him so much, but he didn't want to say it around me.

"i'm nervous" i looked up from pulling my suitcase towards the door.

"why? because you're going to have to face joshua?" tyler crossed his arms and shifted his weight onto one foot.

"yes, at least i think that's why. i mean, it could be because i'm about to travel the world with some men i met like 5 days ago" tyler's face lifted into a half smile at the sort of joke that i made.

"well about the josh thing, you're going to have to face him sooner or later-"

"not necessarily i could block both of your numbers and never talk to you again" i interrupted.

"moon, think about it. you two got on so well and you had only spoken to each other for a little bit. as cliche as it sounds, you're meant to be together in some way" tyler finished as he walked towards me, taking my bag from my grip.

"m'lady" he said, lifting his arm up for me to take.

"are we walking back to the bus?" i internally groaned thinking about how far it was from here.

"actually no, we brought the bus to you" tyler dragged me out of my house just in time for me to see there oversized tour bus.

"wait tyler before we go in," i pulled his hand back so that he knew to stop, "i'm really nervous. i don't know how to face josh" scuffing my vans on the cement to try and take my mind off of current events.

"moon honestly. you'll be fine. jenna will join us when we land in illinios. then you'll have two people for you, and all the crew will treat you like family. one person won't make a difference" tyler looked up and smiled softly at me, his lips resting in a crooked line.

"ok. thank you, tyler" i genuinely cared for this person in front of me.

"how about until we land and you meet jenna, i'll stay with you every second that i can. i'll even sit with you on the plane" he said the last bit in a sing-song voice making me smile wider.

"ok" i nodded, "let's go".

we continued forward towards the doors of the bus. my heart rate was increasing with every step i took.

joshua. i'm gonna see him again.

i followed tyler toward the door, to which he knocked on it and waited, looking back at me over his shoulder still smiling softly.

"you'll be fine moon" he whispered just as mark pulled the door open.

he smiled at tyler, then me as i walked up the three steep steps into the bus' interior. i hauled my suitcase up after me, only to turn around and be embraced into marks arms.

i slowly let go of the handle of my bag to hug him back, i mean, i need as many friends on this bus as possible if i'm going to get through with this whole josh situation.

"how have you been?" i pulled away to see mark looking down on me.

"busy" i guess it wasn't exactly a lie. i've been busy worrying about today.

mark pulled back completely to allow me to walk through to the rest of the bus. tyler had already carried on through to the lounge.

i picked up my bag once again, and started to make my way through the bus' kitchen into their lounge. when the bus started to drive, the vehicle jolted slightly, causing me to stumble forward into familiar arms.

i looked up to see the one person that single handedly built up my world and knocked it all down.

as quickly as i looked up at him, i was walking away through into the bunk area. i found an empty bed in the corner and threw my bag into it, claiming it.

my head was spinning from the incident, making me feel quite sick and dizzy. i leant up against a small spot of wall stabilising myself.

"hey moon ther- are you okay?" i heard tyler's voice go from calm to panicked in a matter of seconds.

"y-yeah. i'm just feeling a little dizzy i guess" i croaked, my head still twisting.

"lets go get you some water, and you can sit in the main lounge area and relax. maybe take a nap?" i nodded after he spoke following him into the lounge.

i sat down in the corner seat of the left couch, leaning my head down on my knees. my eye sight was spinning out of control, my head was pounding.

tyler came back through a few moments later, holding a cup of water.

"thank you" i spoke as i took it from him.

"c'mere," he gestured toward himself, "lie down on me and take a nap. i wanna make sure you safe."

i obliged, only because i obviously had something going on. if i was feeling alright i would've refused, because of jenna.

i leant into his shoulder and before i knew it, i was asleep.

______
AN

wow
u guys r amazing
ur some of the best people i have ever encountered.
all of ur comments have helped me through possibly some of the toughest times of my life
i am currently 16 days clean because i want to be strong for you
if any of you need to talk about anything, please pm me or talk to me on twitter (@halfabusejwd) my dms are open
stay beautiful
stay strong
stay alive
and
stay street