pathetic |/ ON HOLD

t h i r t e e n

iris |/ pov

"moon hey wake up, we're stopping at mcdonalds. do you want some?" i awoke to my shoulder jiggling around, and tyler all up in my face.

once my mind had caught up to the current situation i sat up and nodded, "chicken nuggets. twenty of them."

tyler smiled a bit before following a few other guys with my order off the bus and to the petrol station, where a mcdonalds sat next to it.

i sat up properly from the couch, instead of half leaning on the arm rest. the room looked a lot different (an: goner just came on while i'm writing this and idk if i wanna scream/cry/die) when there was barely anyone else in there. there was a three-seater couch facing a two-seater couch on either side of the walls, and in the corner beside the smaller couch was the tv. there were draws underneath all the seats for storage.

i pushed myself off the couch and walked into the bunks to grab some clothes. i may as well take advantage of the fact that the bus is empty.

holding some jeans and a jumper, i walked into the tiny bathroom to get changed and freshen up.

once i had changed, i went to my bag and put my clothes away, then through to the front lounge.

i wasn't really paying attention, as i was checking over my notifications from the night before, so i completely missed the person sitting on the two-seater couch.

looking up, i got a fright from seeing josh, listening to music, looking down at his phone.

i shuffled slightly in my seat not knowing whether to ignore him or go somewhere else.

ignore him was probably the best way to go. i can't live in fear of him being in the same room, no matter how much i feel awkward.

looking at his concentrated face, just brought back all the feelings. his eyebrows were drawn slightly into the centre, his lips in a little pout. one of the curls from under his hat had dropped out, brushing just over his forehead. his shoulders were kind of hunched as he tapped away at some kind of game or something.

he looked calm.

i shuffled back in the corner of the couch turning my phone on and trying to concentrate on it, instead of the gorgeous man sitting across from me. i knew i was breathing heavily, i mean who wouldn't when joshua dun is less than 2 meters away from you.

i could faintly hear the music drifting out from underneath his earphones, it sounded kind of like, polarize?

he's listening to his own music?

tyler's laugh was heard from outside the bus. i know he has gone through a lot and he still does, it makes me so happy to know that he's doing okay, even if it is for a small amount of time.

the group that left had returned, carrying bags of food and the sound of banter. a few of the group that i still hadn't met properly walked through to the back of the bus, but tyler sat down next to josh and threw me a bag.

i opened it up and looked inside, "i got you chicken nuggets and a doughnut because you know, who doesn't love a ring of dough?", i smiled back up at tyler.

he's so thoughtful.

"hey josh," tyler tapped him on the shoulder, "i got you your usual man"
josh looked up from his phone and smiled at tyler, before glancing at me. he smiled softly, almost barely.

my eyes darted down to the bag.

"i'm going to go and eat this in my bunk. thanks again tyler" i gathered my things before climbing into my bed.

i'm so grateful to have him.

i mean them.

_____
AN
so i'm back :)
and ik its a short update but i'm gonna get back into regular updating and i think im gonna have like a long authors note bc i need to address some things
THANK YOU SM
all of ur comments and likes and everything seriously helped so much i broke my streak and am currently going to be 1 week clean tomorrow :)
just in case no one has told you today, i'm so proud of you i know how hard you're trying
i love you all so much
stay street