The Fake NERD

Chapter 32: Everything Happens for a Reason

Czes held my hand while we ate. It was a sign of comfort. I didn't ask for this kind of treatment, but I felt comfortable and special.

These past few days, down ako ng sobra. Hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin kami nag uusap ni Alex. 3 days na siyang absent.

And its Friday today. Ibig sabihin, walang pasok bukas at sa Sunday. I don't even know if he's going to show up on Monday or not.

I tried calling him.

I even went to their house. Pero her Mom told me he doesn't want a visitor in a polite way.

I knew what that meant.

He needs space.

Ang sakit sakit. I couldn't sleep, thinking about how worried I am. I couldn't find the courage to man up and fight for him when all he does is reject me.

I don't even know kung tuloy pa din kung anong relationship meron kami.

Ano ba tong iniisip ko?

I heard a chair screech. And in my peripheral vision, I could see Drew sitting in front of us. Ofcourse, I ignored him.

Ilang beses na niya kong subukan na kausapin pero hindi ko siya pinapansin. What he did was unforgivable.

It was a coward move.

It completety turned me off. Naninira na siya ng relasyon ng iba. Maybe he's seeking revenge. After all, I'm the reason why their band broke apart as well as their friendship.

Pero isa pa. Desisyon niya yun.

I'm not the one who's at fault here.

He kept calling out my name. But I gave more interest in my food which didn't look appetizing at all.

"Please. Kausapin mo naman ako." He begged.

"Di ko sinasadya. I regret what I did."

"I'm so wrong."

I squeezed Czes hand, indicating that I'm uncomfortable and irritated.

"Drew, siguro wag muna ngayon. I think you need to go."

"No. Wait just let me explain."

Ilang beses ko na ba yan narinig?

"Sorry kung nagawa ko yun. I-I just don't understand my feelings. I wasn't thinking clearly." My blood boiled.

I stood up in anger. "Then you better understand your damn feelings before you completely ruin Alex and I."

I unclasped Czes and I's hands and walked out the cafeteria. Hindi na siya nakakatuwa. Actually, di ko alam kung paano at bakit ko pa siya nagustuhan.

Sinisira ko na lahat. Relasyon nila ng mga kaibigan niya, relasyon nilang magkapatid, relasyon ng pamilya at relasyon ko sa mga magulang.

I'm a freaking mess.

Why don't I just disappear?!

Alam niyo ba yung feeling na gusto niyo ng magpakamatay?

Sobrang pagod na pagod nako.

Bat ba lagi nalang ako.

I sighed. Nagdadrama nanaman ako. Fuck this shit.

Sabi nila everything happens for a reason. Well damn the person who even thought of that!

I hate this feeling. Huminga ako ng malalim. Happy lang Allie. Diba optimistic ka?

Maraming tao sa hallway. 5 minutes before lunch breaks. At nagulat ako nang makita ko si Bianca na nasa tapat ng locker ko.

"Allison." She called in a straight face.

"Hmm?"

Binuksan ko yung locker ko. Kinuha ko na yung mga libro sa susunod na klase.

"I know that you're aware na bumabagsak na company namin." She whispered.

Napatingin ako sa ibang tao. "Hmm."

"Kung pwede sana, pakiusapan mo parents mo na tulungan daddy ko."

Napatingin nako sa kanya. I scoffed. "What did you just say?"

She clenched her jaw obviously getting irritated. "What? Ano akala mo sakin? Martyr? Get over yourself."

Di ako santo. Im not even close to being an angel. Porket di nako umiimik mabait nako? Sge's taking me for granted. I won't believe her shit.

"Allison!" She whines.

"Fuck off."

Pagkatapos ng klase, hinarangan nanaman ako ni Drew. He looked like he was having an internal battle in his head.

"I'm sorry."

"That won't change anything."

"Yes it will. I come to realize." His voice cracked.

"That?"

"I'm an asshole. A jerk that doesn't deserve a part of you."

I nodded and agreed. "So, I think its best to leave you peacefully. And I'll help you with Alex!"

Wait, that's it?

What? Did I expect more?

Maybe masyado ako naconsume ng mga sappy movies.

"I'm doing this because I want you to be happy."

I smiled at that. And I realized something also.

Hindi na tumitibok ng malakas yung puso ko. Hindi na ko kinakabahan sa kanya. At parang gumaan ang loob ko.

Infatuation lang talaga naramdaman ko sa kanya. Sabagay, siya lang naman ang close boy friend ko maliban kay Alex.

I was not in love with him. I was in the stage of confusion. Flattered in having the satisfaction na may nagkakagusto sakin.

Namistake ko ang closeness namin ni Drew sa isang kagustuhan sa kanya. And I felt happy na sigurado ako sa mga napagtatanto ko.

I was attracted. But it all faded away because of what he did. Narealize ko na malayong masmahalaga si Alex kaysa sa kanya.

Na si Alex ang mahal ko. At si Alex lang ang gusto ko. Everything really happens for a reason.

"Lets start over again. Friends?" He offered but I could see the pain in his eyes.

I just nodded.

-

THE END. JOKE. LAPIT NA ILANG CHAPTERS NALANG HAHAHAHA. TUNE IN.