The Fake NERD

Chapter 36: Para Maiba Naman

Nilibing kahapon si Drew. I couldn't contain the longing. I shut everyone out for two days before I remembered that I needed to be strong.

And on that night, nabigyan ng hustisya ang pagkamatay ni Drew. Sumuko yung isa nilang kasama at tinuro kung sino ang mga kasama niya.

And I haven't seen Alex since that day. Wala siya kahapon sa cemetery. Maybe we were on the same boat. But I realized I was being selfish.

Nakalimutan ko si Alex.

At nakalimutan ko yung fact na kasama ni Drew si Alex noon.

Kamusta si Alex? I don't know.

He must have been so sorry. I'm sure na sinisisi niya ang sarili niya. That's something Alex would feel.

I know he needs someone right now. I called Tita Carla to know I'm visiting Alex. She mentioned something like giving him space.

"He's taking all the blame." She sorrowfully spoke.

"Could I do something?"

"I don't think so."

The phone call ended. I decided to call Alex. Pero di siya sumasagot.

The next day, di ako makatimpi. Gusto ko na siya makita. Kung okay ba siya. Pero wala daw siya sa bahay.

Maaga daw siyang umalis. Where could he be? Out of reach siya. I became hopeless.

Sa school naman, everyone was devastated about the news. They did their best to help out and grieve together.

That made me worse. Pati ba naman sa school maaalala ko kung paano ako naging masamang kaibigan kay Drew.

It hurt like hell.

Especially that its also been a week since Alex and I talked.

The next days were a blur. Nalaman ko nalang na nawawala si Alex. Even his clothes and things.

Sinugod ko ang bahay nila. And he really wasn't there. Where did he go?!
Iniwan na niya ba ko?

Did he let go?

I saw a picture of us and that was the only thing he left.

Bat pa niya kailangan umalis? Alam kong malungkot siya at sinisisi niya ang sarili niya.

Ganoon din nararamdaman ko. Alam niya ba yun? We could've solved it together.

I could've made us happy again.

He didn't have to be this way.

Kahit sana naman nag iwan siya ng letter para magsabi man lang sa akin. Pero hindi.

I asked Tita Carla. Pero wala siyang nasabi kung hindi puro patawad. I gave a small smile and just nodded as I understood clearly.

He left me.

I expected Alex to show up at school. Or at home. Or in the park. Or everywhere.

I wanted him to surprise me.

But nothing.

Not even a message or a call. Kahit letter man lang. O kahit paramdam.

Walang wala.

Gusto kong magwala. Nauulit lang ang mga nangyari noon. But believe me or not, this time is worse.

I wanted to kill someone. I wanted to lash my anger out to someone availabe.

Pagod na pagod na ako.

Hanggang kailan ko titiisin tong sakit?

-

"Say cheeeeese!" Says the photgrapher.

Everyone was glad. Finally, they're graduating and so was I.

Pero di katulad nila, kasama nila parents nila.

Ako? Guardian ko.

When I say guardian, katulong sa bahay. And it was already awkward enough.

Pero atleast. Para maiba naman diba?

I graduated as class valedictorian. I managed to control my grades even though I had things that kept me distracted.

It has been a month. A month full of pain. Di ako dumalo sa prom. At hanggang ngayon, di pa rin bumabalik si Alex.

Ang dami kong what ifs na naiisip. Tulad ng.. What if si Drew nalang ang pinili ko nung una palang? Pero I dismissed the thought. Di ko na maibabalik yun. All I can do now is just accept everything.

I sat down on the grass. Feeling all the memories sink in. I inhaled deeply. I'm graduating.

Di man nangyari ang gusto kong mangyari. Pero matutuloy pa din ang mga plano ko.

At walang makakapigil sa akin.

Tulad nga ng sabi nila. Mga bata pa kami.

I'll need to forget Alex and never give him a chance in case he comes back again.

Healing takes time.

And I'm ready to wait and see what the future could bring.

"Allieee! Oy babaita!" Sigaw ni Czes.

Napalingon ako. "Andyan ka lang pala. Lets goooo!! Maraming boylet sa bahay. Celebrate tayo." She cheerfully invited.

I stood up and cleaned my butt. Tumakbo ako papunta sa kanya at inakbayan siya. I laughed with her.

Its time to move on and let go. As soon as I step on my next journey to college, I'll start a new chapter in life and take this as another part of the past.

The End

-

Ito ang gusto kong ending umpisa palang. I know na mahilig kayo sa happy endings.

Pero katulad ni Allie, "para maiba naman" riiiight? Tell me im right huhuhu.

Im so going to miss TFN. Nagsimula to bilang isang draft lang na nacornyhan ako kasi nagstart nung 14 ako.

Pero I'm proud to say na I'm learning. And more books and stories to come!!

Please continue to support me along the way.

I want to become a writer someday. Pero pang part time syempre.

Next book ko alam niyo na IML. So guysss im gonna miss all of you. But we're going to see each other soon din hopefully. Kung babasahin niyo pa mga story ko.

-biancyyyyyy