Divergent | No War

21 - Jonas

Tris
"Euh Tris? Could i just talk to you for a minute?" Jonas asks and tilts his head. I nod. I am not hungry anyways. Dannie just released us for our lunch break. "Sure." He takes me by my arm and leads me away from the many people in the pit. "I-I just wanted to ask you whether you would like to have a dinner with me tonight. At my apartment. You know i wanted to wait a bit before i asked you because you seemed to flustered but now you seem to be better and i mean its now been nearly two months since Four ran away and..." i smile a bit at him and he stops talking. "Sure." Is all I say. Jonas looks like he was finally allowed to set down a ten ton heavy thing after he carried it for two hours. Pure relief floading his face. I try to show the same facial expression but somehow Four took all my emotions with him. At least all of my extrem emotions. "Okay so i will pick you up at yours at 8 pm." I smile a bit. "Perfect." Jonas looks at me happily and then slowly wraps his arm around my shoulder. I let it be.
Together we walk towards the cafeteria. All of our friends already wait for us. As soon as i sat down next to Chris and Mar they both turn towards me. They nod their hands towards jonas who just gets himself something to eat. "What was that about?" Chris asks and wiggles her eyebrows. I slightly blush. "He asked me out. On a date at his apartment." They both start squeeling and i clap my hands over my ears. "Oh my god!" Will now says. "Could you explain why exactly you like to burst our eardrums?" "Yeah, i'd like to know as well." Uri now says and kisses mars cheek. They started dating only a few days ago. "Oh nothing important. Tris just said that she would go shopping with us." Mar says and leans back a bit. Uri and Will start laughing a bit. "Wow i never thought i would live to see that." I only shrug. I don't really talk much at the moment.

Mar and chris pick me up after work. I quickly hug goodbye Jonas and then follow them into the clothes store. We walk through the rows of clothing and then reach the dress section. I groan. "Guys please don't do that to me." Mar just rolls her eyes and sits me on a chair. "Stop complaining." I sigh defeated and slump down on the chair.
Chris and mar each return with three dresses. Chris hands me her first one. "Here take that one first." I walk into the changing cabine and take of my clothes. Its the first time since about two months that i see my whole body in a mirror. I look awful. Even worse than before. My whole body is sickly pale and i have not a single bit of fat anywhere. My ribs stick out of my stomach. I shake my head and turn away from the mirror. I slip on the dress and step out again. The dress is with a lot of puff and even has lace. It looks way to weird. I nearly start laughing at the sight. I step out with a grin on my face. Mar and Chris first try to contain their laughter but then laugh along with me. We laugh together at how stupid i look in that dress. "Okay. No. That is not the one." Mar says and throws one of hers at me.
After four more dresses - that all looked incredibly stupid - i put on the last one that Mar brought. Its dark red and made out of some kind of denim cloth. I try it on and then step out of the cabine. "What do you think?" I ask and smile at them shily. They both have huge grins on their faces. "This is the one!" Chris says and makes me turn around. "Yup. This is defiantly the one." Mar agrees and they highfive.
I buy the dress and then we go to Mars apartment.
They do my make up and my hair and then it is already 7 pm. "Okay Tris. Just be cool. Be yourself and everything will be fine." Chris reasures me as we walk towards my apartment. "Yeah. I actually wondered why he didn't ask you out sooner." Mar says and pats my back. I smile at her. "Well he probably waited untill tris got over..." Chris glances at me. "Got over him." Mar nods. "Yeah and now tris is finally nearly back to normal." They both smile at me and i return it the best i can. They think i got over tobias? Well then they are wrong. I still cry myself to sleep and when ever i try to eat something it somehow reminds me of him.

At exactly 8 pm it knocks. I open the door and Jonas stands infront of me. His blond hair sticks in every direction - as ever - and it looks like his hair gel lost the fight against his hair. He wears a black button up shirt and black dress pants. I smile at him. "Hey." I say quietly. "Hello Tris." He holds out his arm for me and i cling my arm into his. In his other hand he suddenly holds a bouquet of flowers. I smile at him. "Thank you so much! They are beautiful!" I exclaim and take them out of his hands. He smiles down at me and leads me to his apartment.
He unlocks the door and i step in first. His whole apartment is full of candles and roses. I gasp. This is beautiful. I look around and then turn to him with a look of bisbelieve written on my face. "Oh my god! This is beautiful!" He smiles and softly strokes a strand of hair out of my face. I smile back at him. "Just the best for someone like you." He says softly and then moves the chair for me so i can sit down. I smile and sit down. He walks into the kitchen and comes back with two huge plates of noodles. My eyes widen. How am i supposed to eat all of this? He sets one plate infront of me. And the other one on his side of the table. He pours us both a glass of white vine. I smile and he sits down. "Please don't judge to hard. I never tried cooking myself before and don't really know how it is." I laugh a bit. "That is no problem." I take a bite and for the first time something actually tastes me. "Mhh this is really good." I say and take another bite.
Half an hour later jonas plate is empty and mine is still half full. "Didn't it taste good?" Jonas asks and looks at me concerned. I smile at him and softly lie my hand on his. "It was amazing but i just can't eat that much." He grins. "Better to much than to few." I nod. "True enough." "What did you plan now?" I ask and smile at him. He just grins and pulls me to my feet. He strokes a bit of hair out of my face. "Did i tell you that you look beautiful today?" I slowly shake my head no. He smiles. "Well you do." I smile as well and blush a bit. And then suddenly Jonas leans down and presses his lips on mine. I slowly kiss him back and feel incredibly bad because i imagine that his lips are Tobias's.
After a while we pull away and he lies a hand on my neck. His hand there feels kind of weird. Tobias used to lie his hand on my cheek. No stop! This is not tobias and so he has different habits. I smile at him. "Do you want to be my girlfriend tris?" He whispers. I chew on the inside of my cheek. Tobias used to do that. I slowly look up at him. Tears nearly flow out of my eyes. Can i do this? Can i become Jonas girlfriend and completly leave Tobias behind? Jonas notices my struggle. "Hey, hey, hey. Don't cry." He gently wipes away the tear that sliped out of my eye. "Is it to early for you?" He asks softly. How can a boy talk to me so softly? Tobias never... stop! He is not Tobias and he will never be! I look on the floor. "I guess. I am so sorry Jonas. You don't deserve that. You are always so nice and so gentle and i always behave so stupid. I-..." i trail off. Jonas wraps his arms around my hips and i lie my head against his chest. I definatly feel something for Jonas. I know that those feelings for him are not close to those i had and still have for tobias but maybe i can let tobias behind and start over with Jonas. "This is no problem for me Tris. I swear. I will wait as long as i have to. For you." He rests his head on mine and i wrap my arms around his torso. But i have to stretch my arms way more than before because jonas has more muscles than Tobias and somehow his hip bone pokes against my stomach and that hurts. After a while we pull away and he looks down at me smiling. "We will just have a few more dates and you will tell me when you are ready." I smile up at him. "Okay." I whisper. His lips meet mine again and again i have to force away the memories of Tobias kissing me. I don't want this. I want to be happy. And at the moment Jonas makes me happy.
Later he accompanies me to my apartment. Before we part he shortly presses his lips on mine and then leaves again. I lock the door behind him and look out at the stars. I remember when i did that with tobias... i sigh. It's no use. Whenever i try to banish him out of my thoughts something reminds me of him. Small things. A melody he once whisteled. His faint smell that i still find in the apartment sometimes... little details that no one noticed but me. Little details that only i knew. I just hope that that will go away over time.