Broken (Edited edition)

Severe Black Out

That night, Mark had to take two pain killers after we talked.  He was laughing so hard, his face turned red and he was coughing to get air down.   His laugh was contagious, and the rest of us started laughing really hard.  Well...everyone except for me.  I didn't understand why he was laughing, and it confused me a lot.  What was so funny?  He was just looking at a glass of water, and he burst out laughing.  His face red, air barely coming down into his lungs, and he sounded like he was tearing something internally.  When it's time for bed, I help slash carry Mark to his bedroom."  Oh come on!  It's only noon!"  He groans, but yawns just a little bit."  It's bedtime right now, time for bed."  I tell him, and he falls onto the bed."  Ouch."  He says, and rolls onto his back."  Okay, I comfy."  He says, and takes his blanket.  He pulls it up to his chest, and smiles at me."  Lyca... will you do me a favor?"  He asks, and I stare at him.

I sit down on the bed next to him, take his glasses off, and set them down on the nightstand."  What favor would you like Mark?"  I ask him gently, and he grins at me a little bit."  Can you read to me?"  He asks, rubbing my hand with his.  He looks so innocent, and like a five year old."  Why?  Why do you want me to read to you?"  I ask him, and he shrugs."  I just want you to."  He mumbles, swallowing hard.  I take a deep breathe, and pull out my chapter book.  As I read to him, I lay down next to him while I read to him.  He lays his head onto my shoulder, and looks down at my book as I read to him.  His breath starts coming out more steady, and his grip on my hand lessens.  His eyelids drop, and he falls asleep quietly.  I tuck my book away, and snuggle close to him with my head on his chest.  I tuck us both into bed, and I fall asleep.

"Selfish, arrogant, stupid little bitch.  You really thought you could escape me?  Really?  You thought I couldn't find you?  I will always be able to find you, and don't you ever fucking forget that.  I can find you wherever you are, no matter where you hide.  I am your God you Termite!"  Todd starts shouting at me, and I feel a gray haze fall over my thoughts."  Go ahead, and I'll kill you again."  I growl at him, and he grins at me."  Not if I kill you first.  You see Lyca?  This is all I've wanted for you.  To find your true monster, and it took my death for that to happen.  That little going Black is you Monster.  Basically, your dark side."  I growl at him, and stare down.  A full view of the city in flames stands below us, and it's beautiful to me."  That would make an amazing painting."  I say, and Todd grins."  You get your creative instincts from Father.  You get your killing instincts for our Mother."  He says, and I grin."  You're just like Mother then, you're not creative at all."

"I'm creative in different ways unlike you, like with drugs and selling them."  He says, and takes a step toward the edge."  What are you doing?"  I ask him, and he puts his hand on my shoulder.  When you're older, you'll understand why I did this?"  He says, and drops off the ledge.  I watch him fall into the fire below.  I take a few steps back, realizing he just killed himself.  A black smoke rises from the fires below, and forms into what looks like a girl.  My height, my hairstyle, even the same weight.  The smoke disappears, and an evil looking version of myself is standing there.  I have dark bags under my eyes, and my eyes are a bright, glowing red."  Listen to me, everything is going to be fine.  As long as we help each other out.  But, you'll need to trust me."  She says, resting her hand on my shoulder."  You know what to do when it's the right time."  She says, blinking at me.  Her body starts to disappear in front of me, and I take a step forward."  Wait, when will it be time?"  I ask her, and she grins."  You'll know, I know you will."  Her voice becomes soft, and she turns into ashes.

I wake up, and feel sweat dripping down my face.  I look up, expecting to see the ceiling of Mark's room.  But I don't.  I see the fucking sky.  It's almost dawn, the sky is becoming a lighter blue.  Stars are still shining a bit, like tiny diamonds.  I'm laying down in a grassy area, with trees and bushes.  The Park?  How did I get here?  It's about twenty miles from the house?  Mark only brought me here once with Nona when we went to lunch before the hospital.  But during the morning, it looks even more horrifying.  The grass is wet, and the wind is blowing a cool breeze through the trees.  The Grasshoppers are chirping, and the mosquitos aren't biting as much.   As I sit up, I notice that I'm in my pajamas still.  My hair is in a bun still, not messy at all.  I pat my pockets, and feel a lump in my left pocket.  I pull out my cellphone from my pocket, and start searching through my contacts.  I find Mark's number, and call it as fast as I can.

It rings three times, then the receiver clicks."  Hello?"  Mark groans from the other side, and I sigh with relief."  Mark?"  My voice sounds terrified and shaking so badly I can barely understand myself."  Lyca?  What the hell, where are you?"  He asks, and I hear him sit up in his bed."  I don't know what happened, one moment I'm asleep in your bed.  Next, I'm in the park."

"The park?  That's like twenty minutes away by car, how did you get there?"

"I don't know.  All I know is I went Black, I'm freezing in my pajamas, and I'm scared.  I'm scared to death, I don't know what to do.  Help me please!"  I start crying on the phone, sucking in deep breathes so I don't start sobbing."  Okay I'm on the way right now.  Calm down, I'll be there soon."  He says, and ends the call.  I get up, and find my butt is soaked from the grass.  I walk over to where the street meets the park, and sit down on one of the benches.  People heading to work stare at me, and they look kind of stunned that I'm sitting there.  How would you react if you saw a young girl by herself, in her pajamas at dawn?  I didn't blame them, I would be freaked out as well.  As the sky becomes lighter, and my pants become dryer, I see headlights coming down the street.  Mark's car parks next to me, and I get in the passenger seat."  I was so worried."  He says when I get into the car, and he hugs me tightly.

"What happened?  Why did you go Black?"  I shrug, and put my seat belt on."  I had a dream that I was with Todd, and he was talking with me as we watch a city burn.  Then he told me when I'm older I would understand why he did this to me, and fell to his death.  Then, my dark side  started talking to me.  After that, I woke up."  I tell him where I was in the park, pointing to the area where I was."  Oh my God, I'm so sorry Lyca."  He says, and kisses my cheek.  I lean against his shoulder, and he gets back onto the road."  How about we go get some coffee, will that make you happy?"  He asks, and I shrug."  Sure, that would be good right now.  I'm freezing."  I say, and he turns up the heat in the car."  Okay, how about we go to someplace other than Starbucks?"  He asks, and I nod."  Yeah, and some doughnuts."  I tell him, and he grins."  Oh God yes."  He says, and parks in front of a coffee shop.  It smells like cinnamon and fresh dough when we open the door, and the scent of freshly grained coffee beans.

We order two vanilla coffees and two doughnuts.  We grab a table next to the window, and we have our food."  This was the worst Blackout I've ever had.  I either walked or ran twenty miles, and I don't even know why.  There's no blood on my hands, and there's no dirt under my nails.  So why did I go Black in the first place?"  I ask him, and he shrugs."  Maybe because of your nightmare?  Your body knew that you were having a bad dream, and was trying to wake you up or something like that."  He says, and I shrug."  I'm not sure anymore what's going on in my body anymore."  I tell him, sipping my coffee."  Lyca, come here.  Come sit on my lap."  He says, scooting his seat back.  I get out of my chair, and he picks me up to set me on his lap."  We will get through this, like we always do.  I promise you, we always get through these types of complications."  He says, rocking me back and forth.  He kisses the top of my head, and holds me tightly against him.  I wipe the dried tears off of my cheeks with a wet cloth, and finish up my doughnut.  The waitress who brings us our drinks smiles while Mark asks for a sandwich.

"Is she your daughter?"  She asks, and Mark nods."  Not blood."  He says, and he sips his drink slowly."  Oh, she looks a lot like you though.  I don't think anyone would think she's adopted."  She says, and goes over to get his sandwich.  I lay my head on Mark's shoulder, and he rubs my back as I drink my coffee."  You ready to go back home?"  He asks, and rubs my back more."  Yeah, let's get going after you eat your sandwich."  I tell him, and he nods.  He leans his head against mine, and kisses my cheek.  While he eats his food, I start falling asleep.  But after a little bit, I decide not to fall asleep.  I just want to lay here in his arms.  To me, the safest place on Earth to me.