Broken (Edited edition)

Sadness

I wake up the next morning, feeling super groggy.  My thoughts are buzzing, and it feels like my skull is squeezing my brain.  My body has been scar mentally and physically by the events that have occurred.  The pain and the itch from the bandages causes me to be uncomfortable.  Even with the soft blankets and fluffy pillows aren't a comfort from the damn itch.  My head aches, my thoughts racing .  Before I realize it, tears are running down my face.  Cold tears against my heated skin.  A sadness fills my chest, and makes it feel as if my lungs are deflating.  I lay on my side, and cover my face with my arms.  I feel like a weakling, laying here crying like a baby.  The nightmares still come to me, even when my eyes are open.  Dreams that once were filled with beauty are now filled with terror.  I feel as if I'm slowly dying.  That I'm already dead.  I hear Mark snoring in his bedroom all the way from mine, and I turn slightly to the open door.  How long has that door been open?  I remember shutting it when I went to bed, because I didn't want to hear people.  But now, it's open.  Who opened it?  My answer is in a snore of someone on the floor.  I lean over the bed slightly, and see Jack on the floor with a blanket over him.  He's laying on his arm, drooling a bit.  He's snoring slightly, with a gentle smile on his face.  I grab a pillow from my bed, and place it under his head.  He snuggles his head a little bit into the pillow, letting out a deep sigh.  I grab some more blankets, and put them on him.

I sit on the bed, stretching out my arms to the ceiling.  I wipe the tears from my face, and clean my face up.  I sniff underneath my armpit, and make a face.  I need a bath badly, I smell and my hair is greasy.  I grab some underwear, Game Grumps T-shirt, Rubber Ducky pajama bottoms, and socks.  I get into the bathroom, lock the door, and set the clothes on the counter.  I turn the water on, and squirt some bubble bath soap into the tub.  I strip down, and put my dirty clothes in the laundry hamper.  I get down into the water, and go right underneath the water.  I'm submerged in the boiling hot water, and open my eyes underwater.  I see my tiny feet peeking out from around my knees.   I sit there under the water for at least half a minute, then come up for air.  I take in gulps of fresh air, pushing my wet hair out of my face.  I lean back against the edge of the tub, and grab my phone.  I play some soft music, and shut my eyes for a moment.  The music makes me feel more calm and sooths my aching bones.  The bruises on my skin have dimmed down a little bit, but are still very present.  Various colors of blacks and purples.  My stitched up arms sting in the soapy water, but the doctor said I should wash them to keep them from being infected.  I look at them now, the stitches are starting make the skin they're sewed into a deep black.  When I touch them, it burns bad.

A knock on the door startles me, and I unlock the door from the tub.  Mark comes in, his eyes squinting at me.  He has his sling on already over his bare chest and shoulder, wearing only gray pajama pants."  What are you doing?"  He groans, his fingers twitching from his itchy cast.  His hair is covering his eyes a little, and his glasses are tilted."  I had to take a bath because I stink.  Plus I need some time to myself."  I mumble to him, trying not to wake up Jack."  Oh, how are you feeling?"  He asks.  He shuts the door behind him, and comes a bit closer to me.  I look away from him, and he tilts his head at me.  I pull my legs up to my chest, covering most of my body from him.  He comes a bit closer, leaning his head toward me."  Have you been crying?"  He asks.  I shake my head."  No...."

"Lyca, I know when you're lying.  Plus, your eyes are pink."  He says, and I turn more away from him.  So basically, I'm looking at the wall."  I had a little bit of a panic attack this morning, then I calmed myself down after a few minutes.  But it just felt weird, it felt different than the other times.  I was more...more sad than angry.  More depressed."  I say, and he grabs the stepping stool from under the sink.  He sits down beside the bath."  You want to talk about it?  That day?"  He asks, leaning his head against the edge of the tub.  I look at him, then down at the bubbles.  I nod."  I thought you were dead when I woke up, I thought I lost you.  When I woke up, and called 911.  I thought you were dead that entire time.  Plus, the worst part was it was all because of me.  Because of me, you could've been dead.  You were hurt because of me, and you have a broken arm because of me.  If I had never come here, if I never had asked you to help me.  You would've never been hurt.  You wouldn't have gone through this hell."  Mark runs his finger through the water, and stares at me."  Are you quite finished?"  He asks, and I nod."  Yes."

"Well then, here's what's the truth.  Yes Jack and I are injured from the incident, and yes we're a little broken.  But the truth is, you saved us from worse.  If you hadn't gone Black, and if you hadn't been there, we would've been killed.  Lyca, if you weren't in my life...where would I be now?  Where the hell would I be now?  How would I ever go through the day without seeing your gorgeous face?  Where would I be without you as my daughter?  Where would I be without you by my side?"  He asks, and I shrug."  I don't know either, and I hope I never find out.  Because you are my life, you have my soul by the neck."  He says, and that makes me grin."  I don't like seeing you sad."  He whispers to me, and I look him in the eyes.  I just smile at him, and kiss his nose."  Sometimes I can't help it."  I say, and he just chuckles at our inside joke.  I give him another smile, and tell him that I'm getting out."  Okay, I'll be downstairs."  He says, I nod.

I drain the tub, and dry myself off with a towel.  I dry my hair somewhat, then put on my clothes.  I let my hair out, almost like a curtain, and leave the bathroom.  I walk down the steps, and hear Mark pour himself a cup of coffee.  I walk into the kitchen, and lean my head into his thigh.  He strokes my wet hair, pulling some knots out."  Go get your brush, and I'll brush your hair."  He says, and I go over to the desk.  I take out my brush, and go over to the couch were Mark is.  he's taken off his sling, and says he's going to use his fingers if he can.  I sit down beside him, and he brushes my hair."  You know, not having a sister left this out of my childhood."  He says, brushing my hair gently with the brush.  His cast hits my head a few times, and it doesn't hurt that much.  But Mark, big strong guy, makes a big deal out of it every time."  Oh my Gosh, I'm sooooo sorry!"  He then kisses my head, and asks if that's better."  It's fine Mark, you're fine."  I say, and hug my knees.  He continues to brush my hair, then finishes.

Jack comes down a few minutes, and grabs himself a cup."  Good morning my lovely family."  He says, coming into the living room with a filled cup of coffee."  How are you feeling?"  I ask, he nods slightly."  After a pain killer, I'm really okay."  He says, and I smile at him."  How's the arm?"

"A little stiff and numb from being on the floor, but okay."  He says, and rubs his cast."  I see you've put new bandages on."  He says, pointing at my arms.  I not, staring down at the shitty job I did at bandaging them.  It looks nothing how the nurses did it, but it's still keeps the wounds clean."  Hey, I'm bored.  Why don't we go out today?  Go eat some good food, go see a movie or something.  That would be fun, I'll pay?"  Jack suggests, and Mark grins."  You're our guest, I'll pay."  He says, and Jack shows  his pearly whites."  How about at noon we'll leave, I'm still wearing out my sleeping pills."  Mark says, holding his arm.  The doctor put him on sleeping pills because he was so freaked out after the traumatic incident.  Jack was cool, and he didn't need medicine to help him sleep.

Mark's eyes are a bit glazed over, and he almost falls asleep a few times.  Soon, his medicine wears off, and he gets up to take a shower.  I get up, now having to change in new clothes.  Jack and I both go upstairs, and we get dressed in the same room.  I put on black skinny jeans, red hoodie, and black sneakers.  Jack's wearing a gray sweatshirt, blue jeans, and his normal sneakers.  I helped him with his T-shirt, and also his hoodie."  Thanks, you're good."  He says, rubbing his arm.  He puts his sling on, and takes a pain killer.  I go to help Mark after his shower, and see he's halfway into his shirt."  You need some help?"  I ask, and nods in his shirt.  I pull his shirt down carefully, and get it over his cast."  Thanks."  He says, and rubs his shoulder."  No problem."

We walk back downstairs together, and I grab the keys."  Hey!  What do you think you're doing?  You can't drive!"  Mark says, and I grin."  I've done it before."  I mumble, staring at him."  What?  When?"

"When Todd was alive, he's usually drunk when we go out for food.  Who do you think drove?  I learned in chapter books and videos."  I tell him, and he seems impressed.  He just sighs, then nods."  Alright, if you know what you're doing.  I trust you."  He says, and I smile."  Okay, then lets go."